Serious Androgyne

M1ghty Mous3

M1ghty Mous3

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So for the past few years i'v fiddled with the idea of a sex change. Only recently have i actually began researching the topic and what is required to get a sex change. Everything is looking fine and dandy so far except one thing. I don't wish to be male or female. I wish to be both at the same time. And from what i'v read up so far, there is no operation to make someone with both a penis and a vagina. This greatly saddens me, seeing as i am neither male nor female entirely.

Yes society had classified me as male, but i like to wear skirts, blouses, panties, and other attire that women normally wear. I don't mind having a penis, in fact i kind of enjoy it. But i would also like to have a vagina as well. Since a few yrs ago, i'v wondered what it's like for a women during sex. What it feels like. And so this pondering grew into a want. Yet as i stated above, there is no operation that will allow me to have both.

I'd be so much more open to the idea of getting a sex change to female, but it's permanent, and I 'd like to be able to have access to both sexual functions when i want to.

And while doing research on the topic i ran across an online COGIATI test. Not one that can be actually determined and accepted for sex change, but more of a test to get your bearing. I took it and got a 65. Which is Anrogyne.

What that means is physiologically and emotionally i'm split in the middle of the two genders. Which is awesome except the physical aspect doesn't match.

To be quite honest, it's lead me a depression. Not because i can't have both simultaneously, but because i can't be complete, for a lack of a better word.

Some of you might just take this and assume I'm over-reacting. I might be, but I don't think it's the case.

I have a friend who wishes to get a sex change and i wish her the best of luck with that dream. But unlike her i am lost and confused and just....i feel so isolated. Like i'm a lone human on an alien planet. I don't know what to do, i don't know where to go. I'm so scared, and i don't want to be. I just want to be me, but it isn't possible currently. I don't want to wait any longer to be who i am.

Any help and support of what i should do would be super appreciated.
 
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Honestly, I have no experience in this area, so my help might be limited at best.

Like you said, you can't have both parts at the same time. Being a guy, I've never had the thought cross my mind of what it would be like to have a vagina. But getting your penis removed is a permenant move, so I highly advise against it. You also would have a correctly functioning vagina if you decided to have that sort of surgury, where you have a fully functioning penis now. You can always still sport the penis while wearing womens clothing, that works just fine, even if it was made for a woman. But even men that want to dress like women, almost never have that kind of surgury done, they just cross-dress with the penis.

Those are my thoughts on the topic. I'm sure you've thought a lot of this through anyways, so I'm probaby just stating the obvious in your eyes. :lew: But if I did enlighten you in some way, then that's great. Best of luck with your decision sir. :ryan:
 
Wow. I'm so sorry you're in this situation.

Being female, I can understand why you'd like to experience sex with a vagina. It's supposedly extremely different (and stronger orgasmically) than for a male. Unfortunately, even if you surgically created a vagina, you would never be able to experience sex like a physically correct female. Without all the correct anatomy, it wouldn't work the same. So, honestly, I think you should keep the penis and perhaps work out making your outer appearance more feminine if that's what suits you. Like Dan, said, removal is permanent and you don't want to regret a decision like that later in life.

I respect your determination to be both male and female physically and emotionally. I hope that you can come up with a way to feel secure and happy with who you are. Good luck, I'm sorry you're in such a predicament.
 
My first and strongest suggestion would be to see a psychiatrist about this. This is some heavy duty stuff that can go down a lot of different psychological roads, so it would be best if you had someone with professional experience you could discuss this with.

As far as advice, the only thing I can tell you is to take your time and make sure you want to go through with any major decisions before you do anything permanent. Not very strong advice, I know, but it's a really tricky situation.

Also, you're probably not as alone as you think. I've personally never heard of anyone like you, but that doesn't mean they don't exist. If nothing else, you could look for some sexual orientation-centered support groups in your area.

Good luck with everything.
 
Well tbh I don't really have much experience with this, but I'm sure you're not alone in it; I've heard of a lot of people going through it. So don't feel alone ^_^ As for what to do, would it be possible for you to maybe ask a doctor about it? Maybe not a regular general practitioner, but the type of doctor who would perform the surgery? That might be your best bet, unless you can find someplace online with more information, like maybe another forum specifically dedicated to the subject or with other people who are feeling the same way :hmmm: It is a really permanent decision though, so it would be good to explore all the options really thoroughly before you go through with anything.

Sorry, I know it's not much advice, but I hope everything works out okay for you :)
 
Oh love, this must be incredibly hard for you. It's got to be terribly hard to want to do something, to change and modify something to feel whole only to find that the glass is half-full. Well I can give you advice and tell you, "wait it out" or "really think about what you're doing." But you seem set in your ways and I have to admire your courage. Instead I'm going to give you resources, to let you know that you're not alone, that there are a group of people out there asking the same questions, wondering about the same "ifs" and "buts" just like you. You're not the only man who wishes to be an androgyne and you're not the only man to be utterly disparaged about the outcome of your searches.

As for surgery, I suggest you really research and look into the actual process of sexual organ modification. It can be a scarring thing if you don't go into it with a complete self assuredness. You have to walk into it knowing that while your penis will physically resemble a vagina the automatic functions of it will still be male-oriented, that is to say, you'll still ejaculate sperm and semen and what have you. It won't, sadly, have the same affects as Serenity pointed out, as a vagina. Orgasmically it'll still be like a penis when you climax, it'll behave like one but it won't resemble one. WIll you be okay with that? Do you want to just have a vagina and a penis for aesthetics? Can you accept that they will function the same way, unchanged, unmodified by a scalpel?

I don't mean to be harsh or confrontational but these are some things you should consider asking yourself. I don't know of anyone in my family who feels this way but I know of someone who identifies herself as bisexual. She may not wish to change her appearance physically but sexually she feels that men and women are equally desirable. Maybe the thought crossed her mind--of what it would be like to be a man. I'll be dead honest, there are days where I wondered how I would be if I were male. At any rate, here are the links: http://community.livejournal.com/androgynes (basically a support group, I thought this might help. :).)

Unfortunately love, I've been searching for any info on gender reassignment, especially concerning reforming a penis into a vagina, but still having parts of the original genitalia. At this point, I haven't found a thing. :( But there IS info on how to reassign yourself as a female. Maybe, in the future, there will be something out there for you, especially for you. But at this point all I could find was permanent, total, gender reassignment, either male or female. They simply lack the means . . .

Lastly I would advise you, like Terrible Terry Tate did, to seek someone out. Talk to a therapist, they do wonders for you, I'm saying this personally. They can really understand you because they're hearing you out without judging you. They're mediators, trained to listen and advise you for your benefit, and yet in an ambiguous manner. It'll be up to you, what you decide to do really. Whether you decide to go through with gender reassignment or talk to a therapist to mentally prepare yourself or just abandon this altogether, it's up to you.

We can't decide for you unfortunately so . . . what will you do?
One more thing, I'm in no way pushing you to do this completely but, according to the legal definition of an androgyne, if one were to have gender reassignment than they would effectively BE of both sexes. Though their genitalia would be, hypothetically vaginal or phallic like in appearance it would still retain the sexual characteristics of the "original" genitalia, so although they would be female or male in appearance, physiologically they would still be male or female. So . . . if you went through with it, you'd technically HAVE two of the same genitalia, one in function and one in appearance. Just some food for thought. You'd sacrifice the want of having both sexual functions for getting one in sexual appearance and retaining one in function.

Good luck and God bless you on whatever path you choose. :)
 
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FIrst off, I greatly appreciate the kind and optimistic words from everyone. I know this can be a difficult subject to talk about and an even more difficut one to deal wth. As of right now, i have 3 friends that now of it. I don't plan on telling my family for quite soem time due to likely ridicule. I can deal with ridicule from society since i don't much care for them. But being shunned from my genetic family, ouch.

Terrible- I know i'm not really alone in the situation. I just feel alone because not many people i know IRL will be as accepting as the people here have been so far. And i honestly didn't consder counseling to help get through this. Seeing as counseling didn't help me for my anger back in middle school. I just learned to ignore and take it out by way of aggresive music.

Gaming way- It's physicaly impossible what i want done to be done currently. I do however want to get a diagram and see if they could re-organize some things and see it that would work.

Black- You did say everything i already knew but its no biggie. Your jus ttrying to be helpful, and thats what counts.

Serenity- I actualy have a friend that sugested the same thing. I'v thought about it and i don't oppose the idea, i just don't know how for it i am though.

Sneakerpimp- I thank you fro the link and i'll take a gander at it afteri post this. It is hard, and i'm not trying to make it sem any more worse then it is. You were not seeming confrontational at all. I understand they are questions i will have to ask myself in due time. And it's probably best if i start thinking of the msometime within the next 6 months-1 year. I want to know all i can as to my options and as thuroghly as I can before I turn 21, which will be in a year and a few months.

Again I greatly thank you all for your support and adivce. I'm really glad to know when i have an issue that not many peope can agree with, FFF are willing to accept that person. Now i just hope the Unity forums are the same.
 
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One of my closest friends whom I have known since I was 7 years old was going through something similar a couple of years ago (he wanted to be female though). He eventually saw a therapist about it and was admitted to an open psychiatric hospital with a Schizotypal personality disorder. Now I am not saying that what's wrong with him is what's wrong with you, but I'd still like to stress Terry's and sneakerpimp's advice about seeking professional help.

Seeing a therapist did wonders for my friend simply because it was someone non judgmental that he could talk to. His family were great about it actually and me and his other close friends tried our best to be helpful and understanding. Being that close to him, we were probably never completely unbiased though and personally I took it very hard that the person I considered my best friend in the world was not actually comfortable being that person. So seeking professional help is definitely the way to go.

Anyway best of luck to you man. I hope you find a solution to your dilemma which you can be comfortable and happy with.
 
I will surely keep it in mind. Once i can get a job and save up some money I think I'll try and find one somewhat nearby. Apparently the closest Gender Therapist is in Whitchita. Not a bad drive. Only like half an hr or so.
 
How werid they dont do that operation, you would have thought they would be able to do this operation. I really do hope you get what you want darling, you sound like you want it 100% and if its something you truly want, then Im sure you can get this. Arent there some specialists out there whom you may be able to persuade to operate? It may cost a small fortune for it, but if its something you really want, then go for it. And best of luck sweetie <3
 
Currently the operation isn't possible. Although since they can grow organs in tanks now (i just heard of it yesterday so don't quote me on it) it might be possible in 20-30 years. though i would think stem cells would do the trick.
 
I didn't read much of the thread... But anyways...

Unfortunately, as many people here know, I left the site temporarily because of a similar issue, and I've done massive amounts of research on the topic.

While yes, any one (almost) can get an SRS and about a year or so later be perfectly fine, quite simply, you can't have a half way decent orgasm with both parts, unless genetically it just happened in a way that you were born with both parts.

The penis requires the testicles to have a half way decent orgasm, and more importantly, the parts connecting the testicles to the penis; which tends to get in the way of the parts needed for vaginal orgasms. Quite simply, humans are kinda limited in space down there, and you have to choose.

There are many people who do top half SRS, and keep the lower half as they were born and that tends to work. Rarely will men accept it, but anal is relatively similar to vaginal sex. Especially if the prostate gets any worthwhile stimulation.

Also, you gotta understand, SRS is BEYOND expensive... At least, for me it is. One site I found had a guy, now woman, detail all the things she bought and needed along the way and it popped out at just over 5 years, and over 97 thousand 'merican dollars. I don't even want to imagine trying to force both sex organs working simultaneously, much less the process of finding a doctor willing to even attempt the surgery, seeing as how so bloody much could go wrong and any sane doctor would fear lawsuits, no matter how you feel about suing your doctor.
 
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