A whale is larger than the moon?!

Reminds me of a Darwin Award....

A guy was trying to rob a bank in Texas, I believe. This place was were it was legal to carry guns around. Atop of which a police car was parked outside the joint. Anyways, he went in, flashed his gun, and every was stupefied. They all pulled out there weapons and blasted the guy immediately. When the cop got there, it seems that he couldn't describe who it was. =D
 
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box):
"Do not turn upside down."

On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this​
medication."

On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."


o_O


"I wish you'd have given me this written question ahead of time so I could plan for it…I'm sure something will pop into my head here in the midst of this press conference, with all the pressure of trying to come up with answer, but it hadn't yet….I don't want to sound like I have made no mistakes. I'm confident I have. I just haven't — you just put me under the spot here, and maybe I'm not as quick on my feet as I should be in coming up with one." —President George W. Bush, after being asked to name the biggest mistake he had made​
 
Stryfe said:
Reminds me of a Darwin Award....

A guy was trying to rob a bank in Texas, I believe. This place was were it was legal to carry guns around. Atop of which a police car was parked outside the joint. Anyways, he went in, flashed his gun, and every was stupefied. They all pulled out there weapons and blasted the guy immediately. When the cop got there, it seems that he couldn't describe who it was. =D
Click to expand...

Man! How sad...but 'lol' deserving at the same time.

I read in a book somewhere that scientists made research papers on:

1.) how far caterpillar feces can 'shoot'
2.) if monkeys can type words on a computer -----drastic failure, monkeys threw feces at the monitor :lol:

3.) used the principles of physics to figure out the least messy ways to eat spaghetti.

And they say we're advancing in knowledge and technology :rolleyes:
 
"The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden. It is our number one priority and we will not rest until we find him." —Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 13, 2001

"I don't know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don't care. It's not that important. It's not our priority." —Bush, Washington, D.C., March 13, 2002

...uh...huh.
 
You helped our nation celebrate it's bicentennial in 177.... in 1976.
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica] - George W. Bush, Welcomes the Queen of England. :lol::lol::lol:[/FONT]

Al Gore invented the internet. :rolleyes: *I believe he once claimed he did Lol...*

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica]Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.
- George W. Bush

[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica]I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family. [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica]:lol:[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica]:lol:[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica]:lol:[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica]:lol:[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica]:lol:[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica] - George W. Bush [/FONT]
 
Conspiracy theorist walks up to 'Buzz' Aldrin's home tagging along a Japanese film crew. He knocked on Aldrin's door and when the astronaut opened it, said theorist confronted him with the statement:

'Admit it, you never went to the moon!' ~whereabouts~

Aldrin replied by socking him in the face.

Poor guy. Just needed an interview :lol:
 
"...if it wasn't for my horse, I would have never spent that year in college..."

One of Louis Black's skits.
 
History teacher:

"Computers are just a fad, they'll be gone in another 10 years or so..." -_-
~not really that witty :rolleyes:
 
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff." -Mariah Carey



"I'm not anorexic. I'm from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic? I've never heard of one. And that includes me." -Jessica Simpson




"I'm so smart now. Everyone's always like 'take your top off'. Sorry, NO! They always want to get that money shot. I'm not stupid." - Paris Hilton
 
"We are moving left and right at the same time"

It's a political comment -_-

British marine biologists have found what may be the oldest living animal — that is, until they killed it. The team from Bangor University in Wales was dredging the waters north of Iceland as part of routine research when the unfortunate specimen, belonging to the clam species Arctica islandica, commonly known as the ocean quahog, was hauled up from waters 250 feet deep. Only after researchers cut through its shell, which made it more of an ex-clam, and counted its growth rings did they realize how old it had been — between 405 and 410 years old. Another clam of the same species had been verified at 220 years old, and a third may have lived 374 years. But this most recent clam was the oldest yet. "Its death is an unfortunate aspect of this work, but we hope to derive lots of information from it," postdoctoral scientist Al Wanamaker told London's Guardian newspaper.

"For our work, it's a bonus, but it wasn't good for this particular animal."
 
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