I was away with a couple friends last weekend, and naturally we went out for a few drinks in the evening. On our way back to the hostel, we came across a couple saying their goodbyes. Approaching the gentleman we asked him "what the fuck are you doing? Go with her, she's gagging for it", or something along those lines. Granted the girl looked like she had crawled out of skip after being knocked in there with a kettle of piss to the face. Still, she was calling him over to get in the taxi with her. After some mumbling something about "no lads, I have a girlfriend" we frogmarched him across the road to where Jabba was waiting with the taxi. Cars even beeped in support as we crossed.
When we got to the other side, they started kissing straight away. Or at least I think they did, maybe she just smelled the kebab he had eaten earlier. After bundling the lovebirds into the taxi, we were feeling pretty pleased with ourselves. When a second guy got into the the taxi with them. I thought this guy might be a friend of theirs' or just some guy splitting the fare. That's when he took out a fucking fish knife. He smiles at us from the back seat and says "don't worry lads, it'll be grand". Naturally we panicked and started banging on the car window telling our new friend to get the fuck out, that there was a psycho with a knife in the car with him. He just smiled and gave us a double thumbs up, then the taxi took off into the night. Which looks an awful lot like I sent a man to his death
Alternate Bedtime story version
One upon a time, there were three brave knights. One of whom was much more handsome than the other two, but that's not really important to the story. On their travels they met a young peasant who had been separated from his pet pig. The man had given up all hope of seeing his little (read; fucking huge. Do hand motions to accurately convey the mass of this titan to your children) oinker again. To the sound of trumpet fanfare, the knights ferried the peasant across the black river to his porcine companion. Now the knights had to leave though, and were fearful of leaving their new companion alone with his pre-bacon. Fortunately they managed to flag a carriage and wandering swordsman to escort the boy and his pig home. Seriously though, he was like three times better looking than those other knights.
When we got to the other side, they started kissing straight away. Or at least I think they did, maybe she just smelled the kebab he had eaten earlier. After bundling the lovebirds into the taxi, we were feeling pretty pleased with ourselves. When a second guy got into the the taxi with them. I thought this guy might be a friend of theirs' or just some guy splitting the fare. That's when he took out a fucking fish knife. He smiles at us from the back seat and says "don't worry lads, it'll be grand". Naturally we panicked and started banging on the car window telling our new friend to get the fuck out, that there was a psycho with a knife in the car with him. He just smiled and gave us a double thumbs up, then the taxi took off into the night. Which looks an awful lot like I sent a man to his death
Alternate Bedtime story version
One upon a time, there were three brave knights. One of whom was much more handsome than the other two, but that's not really important to the story. On their travels they met a young peasant who had been separated from his pet pig. The man had given up all hope of seeing his little (read; fucking huge. Do hand motions to accurately convey the mass of this titan to your children) oinker again. To the sound of trumpet fanfare, the knights ferried the peasant across the black river to his porcine companion. Now the knights had to leave though, and were fearful of leaving their new companion alone with his pre-bacon. Fortunately they managed to flag a carriage and wandering swordsman to escort the boy and his pig home. Seriously though, he was like three times better looking than those other knights.
I thought you were gonna say you saved them and killed the creppy man. But this is terrible.
