OmniscientOnus
Blue Mage
I'm 20.
To be honest, Omni, whenever I read any of your posts in this thread, I get a terrible feeling in my stomach, then I feel a little sick and down. At first, I thought it was maybe because of how abrupt the first post was about the "stages," but now, I'm leaning towards to more appropriate solution that I just feel sick because, well ... I think you may be right. But then, I come into conflict with myself then, because as my train of thought leads me away from her [meaning that I, eventually, would "get over her"] I'm immediately brought back to thinking about her by that horrible feeling in my gut again. And so, I present the question again: what should I do?
I think I would drive myself insane by holding this feeling in and not letting go of it at any point - but then, if I did let go, and things backfired, I'm not sure I'd be able to cope with that easily.
I'm in such a mess :\ I hate adolescence.
The unfortunate truth here, Riku, is that there is no good answer as to what you should do. The best thing everyone else can do for you is to point out the pro's and con's that are hard to see from a biased standpoint.
What I am trying to do is say, hey, from an unbiased prospective of someone who doesn't want to see anyone get hurt, I think your timing may be off. You're only 15, and you're in separate countries. Typically speaking, you only get one good, real chance, at a relationship, and if you use that chance now, while you're both young and very confused, it's likely to end on a sour note. While I believe that you should fight for the things, and people, that you are passionate about, I also think that you should fight on the grounds that are going to make you the strongest. Don't fight the uphill battle if you don't have to. If waiting a little while is all it takes to level out the playing field, then you have it easy.
Plus, not only will waiting allow you to be more able to be physically closer to her, but you'll also grow together emotionally. If you think you two are hitting it off now, wait until you have a few more years of best-friendship. And, if you can't stay friends for whatever reason, then you just saved yourself a lot of trouble.
So, a little list to show this clearly:
Pro's of trying to get together now:
1) It might work out somehow.
2) You won't have to bother with these particular feelings of "what do I do?" anymore.
Con's of trying to get together now:
1) If it doesn't work out, you're probably looking at "bye-bye" friendship. We always say we'll be friends still... but it rarely actually happens.
2) Long distance relationships are hard. The longer the distance the harder it is. The less often you can physically cross that distance to be with each other, the harder it is.
3) High school relationships fail even more than U.S. marriages.
4) Long distance fights take large tolls.
5) If it does work out, you'll have to live with the fact that you only got to "play the field" for a couple of years, tops. It might not sound that bad now, but it will, trust me.
6) If you think paranoia sucks when you go to school with the person, just wait until you're not even under the same jurisdiction.
7) If it does work out, you'll always feel like shit because you miss her so much.
I could probably go on, but I think I'm done bashing on your dreams and hopes. Like I said before, I don't mean to make this out as such a bad thing, I just don't see good things coming of it.
