Vices

Aztec Triogal

Aztec Triogal

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What are your vices in life? I'm not neccessarily talking about drinking, smoking, and hookers... but just whatever flaws you know you have. And if you say you have none, that's a very valid answer. It points out your flaw just as easily as you posting what it is. lol

Mine is my laziness. Most of the time I feel, for a lack of a better word, dead. There's long spans where I might not even go outside for a few days. I love life. I love being outside when I'm there. I just don't ever go there... or anywhere. Often times I know I have things to do but as long as I"m the only one who suffers, I don't really mind not doing it. It's not so much a depression is it is just total apathy. Whenever I get excited about anything it seems to be something that won't work out in the long run. My motivation to do anything is gone. It has been for a long time. I don't think overall I'm very happy... or content. I just exist and don't really find much of a reason to do or be anything else. My only real goal is to be a half decent person and to find happiness in that. And because I think I am a well rounded and reasonable person, I don't really find much motivation to do anything else. Honestly, I see myself as more of an observer than a person in the world. It's like I'm just here to watch everything pass by. That's all the further life really interests me at this point.
 
My job... Im stuck in a crappy job but in my mind I have the ability to be in a much better occupation... I am on my way to a better job at a 5 star hotel but in the time being theres the thought that other people will look down on me or think less of me because of what i do... CAnt people just see me for who i am, not what job i do?

And Aztec, good on you for finding happiness in being a half decent person. we need people like that in the world. We all end up thesame in the end (dead) so atleast the world would be a nicer place to live in with nicer people around.
 
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Aztec Triogal said:
What are your vices in life? I'm not neccessarily talking about drinking, smoking, and hookers... but just whatever flaws you know you have. And if you say you have none, that's a very valid answer. It points out your flaw just as easily as you posting what it is. lol

Mine is my laziness. Most of the time I feel, for a lack of a better word, dead. There's long spans where I might not even go outside for a few days. I love life. I love being outside when I'm there. I just don't ever go there... or anywhere. Often times I know I have things to do but as long as I"m the only one who suffers, I don't really mind not doing it. It's not so much a depression is it is just total apathy. Whenever I get excited about anything it seems to be something that won't work out in the long run. My motivation to do anything is gone. It has been for a long time. I don't think overall I'm very happy... or content. I just exist and don't really find much of a reason to do or be anything else. My only real goal is to be a half decent person and to find happiness in that. And because I think I am a well rounded and reasonable person, I don't really find much motivation to do anything else. Honestly, I see myself as more of an observer than a person in the world. It's like I'm just here to watch everything pass by. That's all the further life really interests me at this point.
Click to expand...

I feel like I'm saying these words as I read them. They describe me 100% perfectly, and I'm kinda into things like the choas theory, and therefore basically never (like right there) use 100% to describe something that isn't mathematical in nature.
 
Yay! I beat science! And also possibly Jesus maybe, according to Omni anyhow... perhaps... some Egyptians believe!

EDIT: The question is though, if you had the opportunity to just stop existing, would you take it? Not neccessarily that you'd die... but if there was just some way to erase your existance and make it like you never existed, would you do that? For me, I'd have to say I would. I'm not going to kill myself but only because I think it's wrong and would hurt others. If no one was around to care or I didn't think of it was a "bad" act, then I probably would with haste. When I wake up in the morning, I really don't see any reason to make it to that night. And like I said before, this isn't because of recent events... it's a feeling I've felt for a long long time. From a religious perspective, I felt like I was created for a reason... a reason which I never was made aware of and was never successful in accomplishing. My talents could easily be used to help solve a lot of problems in the world... none singlehandedly... but could easily aid almost anyone in achieving their goals. And I find my life wasted. I blame myself. I just have no direction. No purpose. No point. I'm like the fourth exclamation point at the end of a sentence. I might have been something great if I was just applied differently but I'm not... I was wasted.
 
Aztec, existance or no existance is a no brainer for me. Take sentience, hey it only lasts for about 75 years, then you get non-sentience for eternity.

Also, its bloody typical that an intellegent, articulate and nice bloke like you feels like this. You make people think and even if its only on a forum, its still valuable and appreciated. Stick around, get laid and things will feel different.

Ain't got nothin but love for ya.
 
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