URP

ruzki

Chocobo Breeder
Joined
May 16, 2010
Messages
13
Age
32
Location
Mississippi
Gil
0
URP-Waiting.Zeck,Ruzki

Name-Zeck,Ruzki
Title-He dose not like to take anykind of title.He this wants to himself and thats all.
Alignment-Very good.He has never been evil in his life time.When he was little he had a choice be good or be evil,and he chose being good.
Race-Human
Gender-Male
Age-17
Weapons-A sword,and a handgu.He dont really like to use to much weapons.He only loves using his sword,but he will use his desert eagle 9mm if he has to.The sword is 16"inch long.It has a dragon emerald on the blade,and wings on the handle.The blade is sliver while the handle is red.On the gun he carrys 20 9mm clips with him.His reloading is slow.And the handle is black while the rest of the gun is black.
Appearnce-Green eyes,brown hair.Not very tall like 5`4inch .skinny hes around 130 pounds.Always wears rings,gloves,and somtimes hats.He sometimes wears capes this to make himself funny.He has that cool personalities.He apways look like a skaterboy.The hats are uselessly Red Caps.The capes are to his knees.The color of the caps are black.The gloves he wears shows his fingers and covers his hands.The rings are this white color with a dragon symbol on them.but the skater boy look like baggy pants,shritless etc..
Personalities-He always loves helping people when the need it.He would never leave abandonpeopl who needs help.He loves to read.Everytime his mother brings him to a book store he would try to get 500 books and his mother eould get mad.He this eat anykind of food no matter what it is.He always buys the food he wants.He is very shy.He sometimes dont want to talk unless he haves to.or when his mother makes him and when he somtimes wants to be alone.He acts lonly.But he dose somtimes talk to himself.He dosnt like being alone much and other times he dose
Frist imprison-When you meet him.He act likes he hates it,but deep down hes glad when you meet him.He always love acting cool unless.They find out than ha acts like himself.He somtimes looks like he is never listing to anybody,but he dose.He also acts although he dont care about you but he will always be there for you.
strength-Hes not very strong.He always tries his best to find i way out of battles.Every time his friends made fun of him because He grew up weak.untill one day he beat up his friend.After that he became alittle stonger.When he punches a guy it would this leave a cut.and he can only lift 120 pounds.
Vitality-He weres long pants and short shelves shirts.sometime He wears a jacket,but mostly its just skater clothes.Its the only thing he will wear.He tried on differnt clothes style,but he only likes skater clothes.His mom gates it though.But there is sometimes were he would kung-fo clothes.
Speed-He can run pretty fast and attack fast.Hes been fast every since he was little.His attacks are hard to see and his running makes up for that because you see him ran at you but he`ll be behind without a blink,but it makes him tired more tired quicker.He can run i 21 mph
Stamina-He can run for an 2 hours and he can attacked for about a 16 mins if he have to,but he after that he`ll have to stop and take a quick breack.He dosnt have much energy.but when he has to get away from fights or if he has to fight.He gives it all he got with his engery,but than he`ll have to rest.
Reflixes-Is very good reflixed.He can dodge almost everything.His mother thaught him yoga.So that helped him became flexible and it also gave him great reflex.so now he can bend his body to dodge attacks our be able to react quicker when he has to.The thing he can dodge is punching,kicking'and sword strikes.But he cant dodge bullets.
Fighting style-Kung-fu.He uses the dragon iron palm.Its wear he his able to jump over you and use his palm to hit you were ever it strikes.
Armour-He dose not were any armour.He believe it would miss him up on his fighting and slows him down .
History-When he was little.His father thaught him the ways of kung-fo and the sword.3 years later.His brother killed his father,and left.After that he swore to track his brother down and kill him.
 
Last edited:
It's an ok start, but you're going to need a lot of expansion. The best advice I can give you is to go and look and a few of the recently approved bios in the Approved Characters section. That should give you a pretty good idea of what we're looking for in terms of what is needed in each section.

Give those a look, make some edits, and then PM me, or post here, and I'll look at it again.

If you have any questions on anything, feel free to PM me.
 
Yep, getting closer. Find some more places to expand throughout the bio, but especially focus on the Personality tab. It needs to be in paragraph form. Here are a few questions about your character to use as a jumping off point:

-How is your character around friends?
-How is you character if alone and bored?
-How is s/he if insulted by someone larger than him/herself?
-if someone accidentally trips and spills a mug of water on you char, but apologizes after, how does your char react?
-What look does your char have on the following:
|-Killing the innocent.
|-Killing evildoers (bandits and the like).
|-Killing in self defense regardless of the person.
 
Ok, now we've got something we can work with.

Alignment-Very good.He has never been evil in his life time.When he was little he had a choice be good or be evil,and he chose being good.

Is that something that could be expanded upon in his History?


Need more description here. For the sword, how long is it? Of what material is it made? Any designs on the blade or hilt?

For the gun, what caliber is it? How much ammunition does he carry with him at any given time? How does he reload mid-battle?

Appearnce-

Need to be a lot more descriptive here, and more specific. Exactly how tall? Exactly how skinny (how much does he weigh)? How long is his hair? What color are his hats and gloves? What designs are on the rings? How long are the capes he wears? What color are they? Describe his facial features. Round eyes or almond shaped? Small, button nose, or large beak? So on and so forth. What does a skaterboy usually look like? I want to be able to recognize your character from your description if I passed him on the street.

Frist imprison

Good.

strength-Hes not very strong.He always tries his best to find i way out of battles.Every time his friends made fun of him because He grew up weak.untill one day he beat up his friend.After that he became alittle stonger.

Something else that could go in his History. Also what does "not very strong" mean in specific terms? How much damage could he expect do if he punched another person? How much weight could he lift by himself?

Vitality-He weres long pants and short shelves shirts.sometime He wears a jacket,but mostly its just skater clothes.Its the only thing he will wear.He tried on differnt clothes style,but he only likes skater clothes.His mom gates it though.But there is sometimes were he would kung-fo clothes.

That info would go under the Attire tab. And we'd need a Vitality tab to replace it.

He can run pretty fast

How fast? To give you a frame of reference, an Olympic sprinter tops out at around 23 MPH.


A typical fight will only last for about 10 minutes, 15 at the most. So being able to maintain a battle for 2 hours is a bit over the top.

He can dodge almost everything

What can he dodge? What can't he dodge? Be specific.

Fighting style-Kung-fu

Meaning? You don't have to give a technical description of Kung Fu or anything, but a general description of how he would approach an enemy would be good.

Armour-He dose not were any armour.

How does that affect his physical defense?

History-He cant remember his past.

But he has one, right? And you mention some things about his past throughout the bio. Even if he can't remember his life, he still has a History that can be described here.
 
Just need to make one adjustment, and then I think he'll be ready to go.

Vitality-

I think you're a little confused as to what Vitality is. What you put under this tab would be more appropriate for Attire and/or Appearance. Vitality entails a character's Physical and Magical Defense. Describe how well the character can absorb/defend against attacks.
 
Back
Top