Not literally but do you have any "adopted" siblings? People in your life that aren't in any way related to you (law or blood) but you kind of treat them like they're family. I know there are people in my life that I consider as important as any blood relative even though I haven't seen half of them in many many years. BustaMo is obviously right up there. I treat the guy like a brother more than a friend. I've known him most of my life and we've pretty much always been friends on some level at every point in our lives. His younger sister, as much as I always kid about her being hot, is more of a little sister to me than anything else. I could never mess around with her or anything like that simply because that's not how I could ever see her.
Only Busta will get the reference but there is another girl about his sister's age named Renee that I've always considered a younger sister. She's actually kind of the reason I brought up this topic... she's not someone I know well anymore. When I was younger I was there to look out for her. Now that I'm older, we've drifted apart. I still think of her as a kid sister, even though I don't think she sees me as anything but some guy from her past. She's now some stuck up, slutty, college alkie... and I dunno. It bothers me. She's had a lot of problems in her life... a lot that I could've helped her with. I was never there for her. A lot of times the opportunity just wasn't there but I never went out of my way either.
I look back through my life and there is an endless list of people that I've gotten close to and seen go down the wrong path. I blame myself for not helping them. Probably one of the best examples of which is a man by the name of Brian Miller. When I was in elementary school, he was my idol. He was in my grade but he could do anything. He was the top of our class mentally and physically. He was also the most moral man I knew. When we "graduated" into high school he somehow found his way down the wrong path. We'd been friends up to 5th grade. We didn't talk much in 6th grade... and then by 7th grade, the start of high school, he was a completely different person.
Drugs, drinking, fighting, gambling... he went down hill fast. He was probably my first "best friend". And now I see him and there's just nothing there. And he's also one of the many cases in my life where I've noticed God helps people... by knocking the ever loving fuck out of them to stop them from continually hurting themselves. :/ Brain played football and suffered many a brain injury. Brain injuries for Brian. lol And now that his brain no longer fuctions very well... and he's the equivelant of a mentally retarded toddler, he's nice again. He's on a good road. But it really took so long for him to get there... and if I only stood up I could have saved him possibly.
Those of you who know me wel, know that one of my best qualities is the ability to be very observant and very analytical. I can see things very clearly, verly quickly. Maybe it's just an ego problem but I've always thought I was meant to use these gifts I was given. And for the most part in my life, I haven't. I have failed to do anything constructive with them. I watched Spiderman 3 last night and was reminded of this.
It's why Spiderman and MacGyver have always been such iconic people in my life. They're very good people that do their best to help other people. Sometimes they fail but most of the time they really put their all in to make sure other people don't go down bad roads. And I seem to get very greedy, self-centered, and as Mitsuki would say... rambunctious. And when I do I lose sight of things that matter to me. Things like helping other people... saving them. And it's hard. People want to live their own lives and make their own mistakes. And that's very admirable...
but I always feel like I should approach these situations with candor, couthe, and courage. I never seem to do a good job hitting on all cylinders with this one. I'm always very very honest.
Couthe... I've gotten better in the last few years. But my courage... my drive to help people seems to be something that subsides and then resurfaces. And when it resurfaces it's usually too late. All I can do is look around and see the people I've let down for what they've become. And it really is my fault that I let them down. You might not thing I'm responsible for their lives but I've always belive my life has been issued a "charge", a responsibility. And with the talents that I have, it's clear what that charge is... I just fail to accomplish it on an almost daily basis.
Only Busta will get the reference but there is another girl about his sister's age named Renee that I've always considered a younger sister. She's actually kind of the reason I brought up this topic... she's not someone I know well anymore. When I was younger I was there to look out for her. Now that I'm older, we've drifted apart. I still think of her as a kid sister, even though I don't think she sees me as anything but some guy from her past. She's now some stuck up, slutty, college alkie... and I dunno. It bothers me. She's had a lot of problems in her life... a lot that I could've helped her with. I was never there for her. A lot of times the opportunity just wasn't there but I never went out of my way either.
I look back through my life and there is an endless list of people that I've gotten close to and seen go down the wrong path. I blame myself for not helping them. Probably one of the best examples of which is a man by the name of Brian Miller. When I was in elementary school, he was my idol. He was in my grade but he could do anything. He was the top of our class mentally and physically. He was also the most moral man I knew. When we "graduated" into high school he somehow found his way down the wrong path. We'd been friends up to 5th grade. We didn't talk much in 6th grade... and then by 7th grade, the start of high school, he was a completely different person.
Drugs, drinking, fighting, gambling... he went down hill fast. He was probably my first "best friend". And now I see him and there's just nothing there. And he's also one of the many cases in my life where I've noticed God helps people... by knocking the ever loving fuck out of them to stop them from continually hurting themselves. :/ Brain played football and suffered many a brain injury. Brain injuries for Brian. lol And now that his brain no longer fuctions very well... and he's the equivelant of a mentally retarded toddler, he's nice again. He's on a good road. But it really took so long for him to get there... and if I only stood up I could have saved him possibly.
Those of you who know me wel, know that one of my best qualities is the ability to be very observant and very analytical. I can see things very clearly, verly quickly. Maybe it's just an ego problem but I've always thought I was meant to use these gifts I was given. And for the most part in my life, I haven't. I have failed to do anything constructive with them. I watched Spiderman 3 last night and was reminded of this.
It's why Spiderman and MacGyver have always been such iconic people in my life. They're very good people that do their best to help other people. Sometimes they fail but most of the time they really put their all in to make sure other people don't go down bad roads. And I seem to get very greedy, self-centered, and as Mitsuki would say... rambunctious. And when I do I lose sight of things that matter to me. Things like helping other people... saving them. And it's hard. People want to live their own lives and make their own mistakes. And that's very admirable...
but I always feel like I should approach these situations with candor, couthe, and courage. I never seem to do a good job hitting on all cylinders with this one. I'm always very very honest.
Couthe... I've gotten better in the last few years. But my courage... my drive to help people seems to be something that subsides and then resurfaces. And when it resurfaces it's usually too late. All I can do is look around and see the people I've let down for what they've become. And it really is my fault that I let them down. You might not thing I'm responsible for their lives but I've always belive my life has been issued a "charge", a responsibility. And with the talents that I have, it's clear what that charge is... I just fail to accomplish it on an almost daily basis.