Serious The Storm and Me: A Relationship Dilemma

The Illusive Man

The Illusive Man

Controlling You because I can.
Veteran
Joined
Oct 24, 2008
Messages
1,296
Location
who knows
Gil
0
Well normall I'm not one to share the relationship details and usually try to battle through these problems myself, but lets just say...this one is EXTREMELY irritating....anyway heres the scenario:

There are 3 guys involved: Mr A(me) Mr B and Mr C, and 3 girls Miss A(ex) Miss B and Miss C, we will call them for this...

Mr A and Miss A used to be in a relationship for a long time but broke up, badly, Miss A is currently trying to get Mr A back, every which was imaginable, but Mr A really wants nothing to do with her despite still harboring some deep feelings for her.

Mr A really wants to be with Miss B, but Miss B's heart belongs to Mr B, whom has made clear his future that does not include Miss B, Mr A has spoken to Miss B about his feelings, and there has been a "meeting as friends" arrangement, but Mr A is worried his feelings might not get returned at all and it could end in disaster.

Another side of Mr A however is interested in Miss C, Miss C is in a relationship with Mr C and has been for a while now, and Mr A respects this, but keeps thinking about Miss C regardless even though he knows she un-obtainable.

This entire situation really screws with Mr A's head and hes not sure in which direction to turn, his heart tells him to pursue Miss B, but he worries about rejection or being "cold shouldered", because of this fear Mr A thinks it wouldnt be a bad idea to give Miss A another shot, but keeps remembering everything that went wrong, and just cant help thinking about Miss C, even though he knows it probably just "lust" and a desire for the unobtainable.

So the question is, what should Mr A do?....odd I know, annoying for definate...and its definatley getting on Mr A's nerves ^^
 
Huh, this is like a screwy relationship algebra problem. Luckily, I just so happen to be an expert in algebra, though not so much with relationships, so I'll give this my best shot.

I feel that we don't have enough detail as to what happened between Mr. A and Miss A to have that end so badly in the first place, but I'm not gonna pry, so I treat it with a hypothetical situation. I'll say that Miss A wants nothing to do with Mr. A because he did something really bad. Even though he did something bad, he does regret it, but she sees this as an unforgivable situation.

I suppose rebounding Miss B doesn't violate any rules once Mr. B officially breaks it off, so long as Mr. B doesn't have a problem with it (assuming Mr. A and Mr. B are good friends). Mr. A should just attempt to create a relationship, and if it doesn't work, then Mr. A can pick up and move on knowing how Miss B really feels. So long as Mr. A doesn't go too deep into the relationship, it will be a lot less painful if it doesn't work. If it works though, then Mr. A got what he wanted.

Miss C is in a relationship which Mr. A respects, so I think it might be best for Mr. A to just back away from it. There's nothing wrong with Mr. A thinking lustfully about Miss C, so there isn't an issue there. And considering that Mr. A built a foundation for a relationship with Miss B already, I think that would be the best route to take. Miss C can always be a back-up plan.

I never mentioned more about Miss A, but is she is to have a change of heart for Mr. A, then maybe a little problem resolution can bring the A's back together. But if Mr. A considers continuing a relationship with Miss A, tread carefully, she'll look for an easy way out.

Wooo, algebra skills payed off for that, what a tough equation. Anyways in all seriousness, hopefully this'll be insightful.
 
most of which did clear up, but ill throw a little more detail in to make it that little more...confusing as to say..

Miss A had really commited a horrible wrong to Mr A, hense Mr A's fears over Miss A's intentions (lets just say she was controlling, possessive, manipulative, and even pulled the "fake" pregancy card on me, not to mention flirting with every one of my mates right in front of me and texting other guys towards the twilight days of the relationship)

Mr A really does like Miss B a lot, and has a deep respect for her strength and character as they both share common interests, but the fear of rejection is strong and he does not know if his pursuit will end in vain, or if Miss B will not return to feelings.

Mr A and Miss C have been known to argue....quite publicly, naturally they should not get on but Mr A is drawn by her firey passion despite the presence of Mr C, but it should be a no go area...

just a bit more dilemma for you to work through ><
 
Don't go for Miss C, if she is already taken. If Miss B's feelings lie somewhere else, its unlikely you will be able to change it, until she gets over him. If she does, then go for it if you don't go back to Miss A.
As for Miss A, if you think you can make it work...then go back to her, especially if you were happy with her.
 
Cool, the extra detail helps a lot.

From personal experience, a girl like Miss A is pretty tough to deal with. That would all be totally dependent on how Mr. A felt about her, but the faking a pregnancy thing is unacceptable. If she would take drastic measures like that, who knows what she's capable of.

You said yourself that you think Miss C is a no go because she is involved and some public arguements with Mr. A. I totally agree, I think this could be a messy can of worms to open. I suppose she is better kept for the fantasies because of the fiery passion.

That would leave Miss B. I think since Mr. A has already had a "meeting of friends" with her, I honestly think she would give Mr. A the time of day. I think if she were a total stranger that Mr. A didn't know or someone he never associated with much, then it would be a mystery as to whether he had a chance with her or not, but seeing as they get along with each other, I think it's a low risk, high reward chance. The worst that'll come of that situation is that she'll see the herself and Mr. A as being friends only, but it wouldn't create a messy situation.

I really think Miss B is worth a shot.
 
Mr A seems like quite the slut!

Yeah your best bet would be to pursue Miss B. Miss C is off bounds probably because you probably wouldn't get her. Just play it cool with B and if you are going to ask her out, act as casually as possible, and if she says no, just try and be happy about it (show her you're happy) and that it doesn't bother you. That way she'll still see you as a friend and it won't cause serious damage.
 
Well as I predicted to myself, disaster strikes!

Just when things are going well with Miss B, Mr B shows back up on the scene, and Mr A is dropped like a hot potato, Mr A had already told Miss A to sling her hook, and dedicated himself to NOT pursing Miss C.

Of course this results in Mr A being back to square one, no relationship, no forseeable hopes of one, and probably doomed to repeat this cycle another...1000 times or more.

So now Mr A has no choice but to dust himself off, and after trying to figure out what went wrong, get on with his life until the next hurdle is thrown up for him to smash into ......

Ah the wonderful life of Mr A, taking life, one failure at a time ^^
 
Oh man, that sucks big time! Now the one thing that you may not have considered is that even though Mr. B is back in the picture, Miss B may still like Mr. A to want to have something with him instead. Considering there has been a meeting about such a thing, I don't think all is lost just yet. Give it a little time, and maybe Miss B will tell Mr. B that she'd rather be with Mr. A.

If Miss B decides to stay with Mr. B, then Mr. A will be back to square one. This would all be dependent on how deep the B's are in their relationship, if it's still early then things can work in Mr. A's favor, as feelings will be spared, otherwise Mr. A will be back to square one.

All I know is, I've been at square one for a while myself, and I think it's best just to think positively about it. I know something good will happen for me in time, I just try to be patient. Mr. A will see positive results in time I'm sure.
 
As of how it stands, its definatley back to square one im afraid stang, but I thank you for your help and advice.

Lets just say I dont think Mr A and Miss B will ever quite be the same with each other again..
 
Jill Valentine said:
So now Mr A has no choice but to dust himself off, and after trying to figure out what went wrong, get on with his life until the next hurdle is thrown up for him to smash into ......

Ah the wonderful life of Mr A, taking life, one failure at a time ^^
Click to expand...

Thats the best thing to do man. You shouldnt waste yer time tryin to figure out what went wrong. Sometimes things just dont work out and its shit but, we can always have what we really want sadly, thats life >_<
Best to just shake it off and move on, thats the only good thing to do, rather than wallowing over someone or wondering what 'couldve' been.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top