Original The Journey

[Ayatai]

Chapter 1: The Fight
<o> </o>
“You bitch!” screamed a girl, pushing another girl down.
“Excuse me!?” the other girl said while getting back up, “If you want to start a fight, you’d have to tell me what it’s about first,” she says, then starts to walk off.
“You stole my boyfriend!” the first girl screams.<o></o>
The other girl stops in her tracks, turns around, and comes back and screams, “ WHAT BOYFRIEND! I HAVE NO BOYFRIEND! So… if I don’t have a one how could I have stolen one!?<o></o>
The first girl speechless says, “But… but…” she started but was quickly interrupted by her boyfriend.<o></o>
“That’s enough, you two!” he screamed.<o></o>
“Eli!” the first girl cried and ran towards him, but he ignored her as he walked towards the other girl.<o></o>
“Leila, you ok? He asks the other girl.<o></o>
“Yeah, I’m ok…” Leila responds.<o></o>
Eli’s girlfriend comes up to Eli and screams, asking, “Why’d you ignore me!?” <o></o>
Eli coolly responds, “It seemed like it was you who was you who was the one who started the fight, so why should you get any special attention from me for doing that?”<o></o>
“Well… umm… she… umm…” she responds, unable to come up with an excuse.<o></o>
Eli turning his attention back to Leila asks, “Are you hurt or anything? Our ‘mom’ would kill me if you were hurt!” <o></o>
“Wait, why would they kill you, and why did you say ‘our mom’?” Eli’s girlfriend asked, interrupting.<o></o>
“Well… That one’s easy, he’s my brother,” Leila answers then turns her attention to Eli, “and Eli, don’t worry, I’m not hurt.” <o></o>
“Well, that’s good,” Eli sighs in relief, then looks at his wristwatch, “OH MY GOD!” he screams.<o></o>
“What!?” Leila asks in surprise.<o></o>
“We have to get you home, or our mom would probably kill me for that also!” Eli said.<o></o>
“Oh… that” she says disappointed<o></o>
Eli continues, “Yeah… well, should we go then?” <o></o>
“Yeah, sure,” Leila agrees, “I’m sitting in the front though!”<o></o>
“No you’re not!” Eli’s girlfriend argues.<o></o>
“Yes, I am! You can sit in the front when I leave!” Leila argues back<o></o>
Eli obviously staying out of this fight, starts to head for the car. A few moments later, the girls notice Eli walking off and they both started running towards him. Catching up to him, the three of them all then headed to the car. When they got to the car it took about five minutes for the two to figure out who was sitting in the front. In the end, Leila was the one who actually one the seat. They all got in and finally drove off.<o></o>
“See you!” Leila said as she got out of the car.<o></o>
“Bye!” Eli replied as hi girlfriend, just got into the front seat of the car, and closed the door. <o></o>
“Hey Eli!” Leila yells tuning around.<o></o>
“Yeah?” he asks<o></o>
“Be home by nine, no later, k?” Lela says jokingly.<o></o>
“Ok, mom,” Eli replies, laughing, then drives off.<o></o>
<o>~~~~~~ </o>
“WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!?” screams a voice, right when Leila walked into the door.<o></o>
“At school, mom!” she replies, just closing the door.<o></o>
Her mom comes up and then hits Leila hard across the face, knocking her down to the ground, “Liar!”<o></o>
“I was mom!” Leila yells back, getting back up<o></o>
“You lie! You were with someone!” she screams, punching Leila this time, knocking her down again…<o></o>
<o> </o>~~~~~~
Lela finally able to get up to her room, only after being beaten by her drunken mother, was now lying on her bed crying, she kept crying until she fell asleep.<o></o>
When she finally woke up, she realized it was past supper and now her only chance for food was to sneak into the kitchen and get some food form the fridge.<o></o>
She got up and started heading down the hallway towards the stairs. When she was about to pass Eli’s room, something stopped her.<o></o>
She started to scream, but then her mouth was quickly covered to quiet her.<o></o>
“Shh… Leila it’s me,” came Eli’s voice.<o></o>
Leila calmed down the moment she heard his voice, and Eli uncovered her mouth. Leila then quietly asked, “What are you doing up!?”<o></o>
“Well, I heard you coming, so I thought I’d stop you to ask what you were doing” he answers, then sees the new bruises on her.<o></o>
“Umm… nothing, nevermind,” she said not wanting to admit her hungerness.<o></o>
“She drank again, didn’t she?” Eli asked<o></o>
Leila reluctantly shook her head yes, and started to cry again.<o></o>
Eli then hugged Leila to comfort her and she almost immediately stops crying. She hugs him back and then says, “Umm… Eli… I’m hungry”<o></o>
Eli now dumbstruck, starts to laugh, “Ha-ha-ha-, okay, I’ll go get you some food, you just wait in my room, k?”<o></o>
“Okay” Leila says with a smile on her face.<o></o>
Eli then starts for the kitchen and Leila goes into his room.<o></o>
A few moments later, Eli shows up with a plate of food. He comes over to Leila and hands her the plate.<o></o>
“Thanks, Eli” Leila said, smiling at him.<o></o>
“Your welcome, now eat up, so we can go to bed, ‘little sis’ ” Eli responds in a jokingly manner.<o></o>
Leila just about to take her first bite, hears that and drops her fork and turns to Eli. “ ‘Little sis’!? What do you mean by ‘little sis’!? I’m only a few months younger than you!<o></o>
Eli laughs, then says, “I was only kidding!”<o></o>
“I know, but still…” Leila says, then looks down at her plate.<o></o>
“Leila…” Eli says quietly to himself.<o></o>
<o>~~~~~~ </o>
“Goodnight brother!” Leila says as she walks back to her room.<o></o>
“Goodnight sis!” Eli replies and watches his sister safely get back to her room and close the door. He then went into his room, closed the door, and then lied down on his bed and quietly fell asleep.<o></o>
~~~~~~
Leila who just finished closing her door, turns around and sees her room. She goes towards her bed, lying down on it, soon to also fall asleep…<o></o>
<o> </o>
<o> </o>*End of Chapter 1<o></o>
<o> </o>
<o> </o>
<o> </o>

 

[Zanmato]

Interesting...I like it.
Just one thing....the ending....it's too plain and a bit weird. After beeing beaten by her drunken mother... I don't think she would fall asleep so easly.
Otherwise it's nice....waiting for chapter 2.

 

[Ayatai]

i know.. i tried coming up with a better ending like she went into her brother's room and that she could only fall asleep in there, but... i didnt know how to put it...

 

[Zanmato]

Say something like...what she feels...or that she enters an imaginary world which comforts her and she falls asleep when that dream is getting very beautiful...you know....the feeling of dissapointment which takes place because dreams never last.....just a sugestion.

 

[Laro]

Feels like it really happened. Well done! Can't wait to read the second chapter!

 

[Alchemage]

'Ello. Hate to sound nitpicky, but there were some punctation errors. Here you left out the periods at the end of the sentences...

“I was mom!” Leila yells back, getting back up

“Yeah?” he asks

etc. There were a couple of times when you wrote one word when it seems like you meant another.

Leila yells tuning around.

I assume you meant "turning"--heh.

And you switched back and forth between past and present tense in some areas:

“WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!?” screams a voice, right when Leila walked into the door.

Other than that, though, it was pretty interesting. Your characters are intriguing, and it will be interesting to see how you flesh them out in later chapters. Keep writing!

 

[Ayatai]

yeah, that was kinda a rough draft, and i found those mistakes in my paper when i read over it again and thanks for the insight on that,

i have to say i do make a lot of mistakes sometimes in my writing but i try not to

Anyways i have like a lot of other chapters done for this but i dont know, cause its kinda like the brother falls in love with someone from naruto and leila falls in love with someone from furuba *guess who, sry* but i'm thinking of changing the story in a way somewhat :/ *thinks to self* ah... nvm, i'll let you read it first then see how it is, but first i have to have the time to get it on the computer first :/

Oh, and also i think i'm going to change the name of the story to something else but i dont know what yet :/ *starts thinking of one for the time being*

ok, that should sum that up... *looks over post* shit.... that was a long post....

 

[Ayatai]

anyways... though i know i'm posting twice in a row but i want to let ppl know of the new chapter...
here's chapter 2 of 'The Journey'....

Chapter 2: (yet to be named)

"Hey, you ready?" asked Eli as he was waiting to go to school.
"Almost!" Leila replied as she hurried to finish getting ready.
"Well, were going to be late!" Eli replied to her reply.
"No were not!" Leila said back as she ran down the stairs and grabbed her school bag. "Come on, or we really will be late." she said to Eli and then ran out of the door towards the car.
"Hey Leila, wait up!" Eli yelled after Leila as he ran after her out of the door.
The two of them reach the car and get in, and drive off towards towards the school.
~~~~~~
"See you after school, Eli!" Leila yelled as she ran off towards class.
"Bye!" Eli yelled back, then headed for his.
~~~~~~
"Excuse me, pardon me," Leila said as she tried to make her way though the halls of the school.
And while she was trying to do so, she ran smack dab into a group of guys and fell down backwards to the ground.
"Ow...." she said quietly to herself.
The group turned to her, "Watch where you're going!" said the one that Leila had just run into.
"I'm sorry," she said as she got back up and looked at the group. She saw that this was the group that she hated so much, because they always pick on her for various reasons. But one thing was different this time. There was a new member to the group today. So as the 'leader' *the one she ran into* was rambling to his friends about something, she stared at this new person in wonder for a moment until the leader interupted her from her trance.
"Anyways, you'd better be sorry or else," he yelled, then started to walk off, then he paused and turned back to me, "Oh yeah, nice bruises you have there" he then said with a smirk on his face and then turned and walked off.
Leila now having mixed emotions about that remark, ran. Pushing her way through the same group of guys. Crying. As she did so, she saw one thing. That all of the guys except for the new guy was laughing. She gave kudos to him in her mind for not laughing.
~~~~~~
After grabbing her jacket from her locker and putting it on, Leila finally started to calm down.
She finally headed towards class after she had calmed down a bit.
Just making it in time to the class, Leila sat down in her seat and put her head down on her desk. She could feel that everyone was talking about her and laughing at her like always, so she stayed in the position she was until the teacher walked into the room.
"Ok class, settle down and take your seat!" screamed the teacher.
Everyone did as they were told and the teacher continued.
"Ok everyone, we have a new student joining our class today..." she started
Leila looked up from her seat to see who this 'new student' was. She was suprised to find out it was the 'new guy' from earlier.
"His name is Kyo Sohma, and..." the teacher continued, though Leila didn't hear much after that since noticed that he was looking at her in confusion.
"...now... to find where he'll sit," the teacher said as she went for her seating chart.
"I can pick my own seat" Kyo said and went to sit down. And the seat he picked was the one right next to Leila's.
Almost immediately, after he sat down, the whole class turned around and glared at him.
"What!?" Kyo said, and glared back.
Leila though, now very flustered at the fact that he sat next to her, buries her face back into her arms onto her desk.

*End of Chapter 2*

 

[Ayatai]

Chapter 3- Leila's Class

"Ok, class today we shall talk about..." Leila's teacher started. Leila wasn't really in the mood for school anymore, so she just kept her head down, and started to draw.
"Hey, you, the one with the head on her desk," Kyo whispered to Leila.
"What!?" Leila quietly said irritated, not liking being called in those terms. ('hey you')
"Well, umm... who are you?" he asked
"Why do you want to know?" Leila responded
"Umm... because, your the only one I do not know the name of in this class..." Kyo said, then muttered to himself quietly, "Not that I actually care anyways"
Leila then picked her head up and faced Kyo. "Well, if you must know, its Leila. Leila Moonflow," she answered, and then placed her head back on her desk and continued to draw.
"Oh..." Kyo said, and then noticed that she was drawing, "Hey, what are you drawing?" he asked.
"Cats" she answered.
Kyo goes numb at the word, and then asks, "Really, can I see?"
Leila turned to Kyo again and says, "Are you sure? You don't sound too sure of yourself."
"Yeah, I'm sure," Kyo responded, finally getting a grip on himself.
Leila handed him the pictures, and he then looked looked at them, then dropped them.
"What's the matter? Are they bad?" Leila asked.
"N-no, there good," Kyo said picking the pictures back up and handing them to her. 'How is this possible? Those drawings are an exact imitation of my life!' he then thought.
Leila looks at Kyo in confusion and asks, "Are you ok?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," he answered, snapping out of his thought
"Hey, Kyo..." Leila started to ask but was interrupted by a loud crash in the hallway, "What was that?" she then asked.
"I don't know," Kyo answered, then got up to see what it was. Leila followed.
Kyo opened the door to look out in the hallway and sees a huge chase going on, and the one being chased is a freshman.
Kyo immediately recognizes this 'freshman' as his cousin, Momiji.
"Momiji, what are you doing here!?" he yelled.
Momiji sees Kyo and runs toward him. "Kyo!" he screams happily.
"Go back to class!" Now!" Kyo screamed angrily.
"No!" Momiji screamed, finally reaching Kyo.
"You better or else!" Kyo said, and then hit Momiji on the head.
"Waaah!! Kyo hit me!!" Momiji screamed.
"Kyo!" Leila then yelled.
"What!?" Kyo said startled, forgetting that she was there.
Leila goes over to Momiji and asks, "You ok?"
"He's fine," Kyo remarked, answering her question.
"I wasn't asking you Kyo!" Leila yelled, looking at him then turned her attention back to Momiji. He was now looking at her smiling.
"Hi!" he said happily.
"Hi, hey you ok?" she asked.
"Yeah, but I think you hurt Kyo's feelings." Momiji answered pointing at him.
Leila looked at Kyo, and noticed that he looked away the moment she looked at him and walked back into the classroom.
"Kyo, I'm sorry," Leila apologized, now feeling bad about how she yelled at him earlier.
"Yeah, whatever" he responded, not looking back.
"B-but..."
"Just leave him, he's just a crabby-puss" Momiji interrupted.
"No, I'm not!" Kyo screamed back, hearing Momiji's remark.
"Yes you are!" Momiji yelled back, smirking.
"No. I'M NOT!!" Kyo protested coming back out of the classroom, back to where Leila and Momiji were.
"Yes, you are, now get over it" Momiji said.
*silence*
"Hey, Kyo, do you forgive me?" Leila finally asked, breaking the silence.
Kyo didn't answer.
"Kyo, you better answer her or I will kill you" came a voice down the hall.
Leila looked towards where the voice came and saw a guy with white and black hair. He though seemed younger still than Kyo and herself.
"Haru..." Kyo said unhappily.
"Hey Hatsuharu!" Momiji said happily.
"Hey," Haru answered cooly.
Leila looked at Haru, Kyo, and Momiji in confusement. Momiji notices this then said, "Oh, I guess you dont know. The three of us are all some way related."
"Yeah, you could say we're distant cousins" Haru said glaring at Kyo.
"Oh, ok..." she answered, still a bit confused. "Umm... now why would you kill him for not answering me?"
"Because, he's a stupid cat.." Haru answered.
"Stupid... cat???" Leila said confused.
"Don't call me stupid!" Kyo yelled.
"Oh, no! That's black Haru" Momiji yelled out randomly.
"Black... Haru???" Leila said confused yet again.
"Oh, Black Haru is, mmmppphh" Momiji started to to say, but Kyo covered his mouth.
"Momiji?" Kyo then asked, uncovering Momiji's mouth.
"Yeah?" Momiji asked.
"Another word, and you're dead," Kyo answered.
"Okay!" Momiji answered happily.
*silence*
"Umm... hey Haru?" Leila asked, after Momiji had gone back to class.
"Yes, my princess?" he asked (yes hes still black)
"Hey! Don't call her that!" Kyo yelled angrily.
"I can call her whatever I want you stupid cat!" Haru said.
"I said don't call me that!"
"Hey!" Leila screamed.
Kyo and Haru both looked at her. "First of all, Kyo's not stupid," Leila said angrily, "Second, I don't know why you keep calling him a cat when his name is Kyo, and third... why the heck is your hair both black and white!?" she screamed.
Kyo and Haru looked at her now looked at her dumbfounded.
"Well, the first to are easy," Haru started, but was interrupted by an announcement on the PA in the classroom. 'Miss Leila Moonflow... Miss Leila Moonflow... may you come to the principals office now...'
"What the-" Leila replied, confused why she was being called. She then got up and ran back into the classroom and grabbed her things and ran back out to Kyo and Haru. "Well, umm... see you later, I guess..." Leila said to them.
"Yeah... see you," Kyo answered.
"Bye princess" Haru smirked.
"Bye you two," she said again, and then headed off towards the office.
Minutes later, she arrived at the office and opened the door and saw the principal there waiting for her.
"Hello, Leila" the principal said as she smiled at her.

*End of Chapter 3!!*

 

[Ayatai]

Chapter 4- Eli's Class

"All right class, today our lesson will be about mythology," Eli's teacher began.
"Mythology!? But... I already know a lot about that stuff for some reason..." Eli responded, talking to himself, then continued to listen.
"...The Elf King was said to have a lover, who was human, and it was said that humans and elves were not allowed to be seen together. So, the would always go to a certain place and meet. It is also said that he had two children with this human. One girl, one boy. Time passed and they kept on meeting each other, same place every day. The guards grew suspicious of the King's frequent leaves, so they decided to follow him one day. And that was when they found out that he had been going out with a human, and he was now forced to leave her and the children, in order to keep them alive, and was never allowed to see them again." the teacher finished with a tear in her eye.
Eli sat there speechless, not knowing what to say.
"Umm...," Hinata said, raising her hand.
"Yes, Miss Hyuga?" the teacher asked.
"Well, umm... let's say if this story was true..." she started. Eli looked at her, now confused.
"Yeah?, so what are you getting at?" the teacher asked.
"Yes, well if the story were true, how old would you say the children would be?" Hinata asked.
"Hmm... good question..." the teacher said, then looks at the book, "Well, seeing that theis myth isn't that old, I would say that they are either seventeen or eighteen years old"
"So... they would be the same age as all of us?" Eli asked.
"Yes," the teacher answered reassuringly.
"Umm... what's the difference between an elf and a half-elf, meaning, do they look any different?" Hinata asked
"Well... there is really no difference, except for the ears. Half-elf ears are just like ours, unlike elf ears." the teacher answered
"So, they could blend in really well with us then, right?"
"Yeah, I guess they could," the teacher answered, "But anyways, its just a myth."
"Yeah! And they said demons were just a myth too!" Hinata yelled, surprising everyone,"Th-they said it wasn't real! But that all changed whean..." Hinata said, now quieting.
"Until what Hinata?" Eli asked.
"U-until-"
"Hinata!!!!" a voice then came in the hallway, interrupting Hinata.
*crash*
"What was that?" the teacher then asked.
"Huh? Naruto?" Hinata asked herself, recognizing the voice, then ran to the door and opened it.
"Hinataaaa!!!!" Naruto yelled as he ran towards her.
"Naruto! What are you doing here? You should be in class!" Hinata all of a sudden yelled in a mother like tone {hah!!}
"I know, I know, but..." Naruto started.
"But, what?" Eli said coming up behind Hinata, startling her.
"What-the-, oh hi Eli," Hinata said, smiling at him, then turned back to Naruto, " Yes, but what?" she then asked.
"But-but Neji started a fight in our class and he won't listen to any of us!" Naruto screamed.
"What!?" Hinata said suprised and confused.
"Yeah, and Hinata, you gotta stop him!" Naruto said.
"But, I don't think I can," Hinata said unsure of herself.
"Of course you can! Event if the rest of us couldn't stop him doesn't mean you can't! C'mon you're part of his family in a way so there must be a way." Naruto said.
"Maybe..." Hinata thought, "All right, I'll try. Thanks Naruto" said then ran off towards the classroom Neji was in. Eli decided to follow.
"Neji! Settle down!" someone screamed from the classroom. Hinata opened the door and saw Neji being held back by a group of kids.
"What's wrong with him?" Hinata asked worried.
"I don't know, he just suddenly started acting like that ," Naruto answered
"Ok, I'll try now, BYAKUGAN!!" Hinata then said, bringing out her byakugan eye.
"What the-" Eli said confused.
"His chakra points are all messed up," Hinata said after analyzing Neji.
"Wha- how?" Naruto asked.
"I don't know, and you said he was fine this morning right?"
"Yeah..." Naruto answered.
"Ok," Hinata said, then walked towards Neji, and took out a bottle.
"What's that?" Eli asked.
"An antidote, it will heal him," Hinata answered. 'But still, whi did this happen?' she then thought.
"Oh" Eli replied.
"Mr. Eli," a voice came from behind him.
Eli turned around and saw his teacher there. "Yeah?" he asked.
"You are needed in the principals office, immediately," the teacher responded.
"What? Why?" Eli asked.
"I don't know, you were just called there, that's all" the teacher said.
"Oh," Eli said, then started to head for the office. When he got there, he opened the door and saw that his sister, Leila, was there also. Now he really started to wonder.
"Hello, Eli" the principal said, with a smile on her face. Leila looked at him and smiled also.

*End of Chapter 4*

 

[Ayatai]

Chapter 5- The Reunion

"Why have you called us both here?" was the first things out of Eli's mouth.
"Well, the reason I did call you both here is because I have found out news about your father" the principal answered.
"Our father!?" Leila and Eli answered in unison.
"Yes, your father," she responded," It seems hmm... how can I put this, well your father is not one of us, he's not of our race"
"Not one of us?" Leila asked.
"Not of our race?" Eli asked.
"Yes, by race, I mean he's not a human, that's why he's not one of us" she answered.
"Miss principal, Miss principal! He's here!" a voice came from outside the office.
"Ahh... good timing. Your father's here. I'll let him in so you can see for yourself," the principal said and headed for the door to open it. "H-hello, Sir Moonflow" she said, as she opened it.
Leila and Eli looked at him and the first thing they really noticed that was different was the ears, nothing else.
'Nuh-uh...' Eli and Leila thought, looking back down.
"Hello, Leila., Eli," he said looking at them.
Leila and Eli looked back up and met his eyes, and saw that he was smiling at them.
"H-hello" they both answered.
*awkward silence*
"Umm... y-your father is the King of the Elves, you two" the principal said breaking the silence.
Mr. Moonflow looked at the principal and glared at her, "Yes, I am but..." he started, then paused, looking back at them.
"But, what?" Leila asked.
Mr. Moonflow then looked away and didn't say anything.
"But were not allowed, isn't it?" Eli said looking at him.
"...yes" he responded.
"But why not?" Leila asked.
"I-ts becaouse your half-elves, and half-elves...half-elves are not allowed in our kingdom, that's why... that's why I had to leave you with your mother." he answered as a tear rolled down his face.
"What do you mean?" Leila asked.
"I-I tried really hard to get them to understand. But, they won't listen," he said.
"Who?" Eli asked.
"The other elves, they wont allow humans or half-elves into our kingdom. So, I had to hide your mom and you from everyone, but I was caught, and was forced to separate from you," the king explained.
"B-but. Why!?" Leila asked.
"I had no other choice...." he answered, then hugged Leila and Eli, "I'm sorry."

*End of Chapter 5....*