The Best & Worst Characters in ALL of the FF Series

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Uhhhhhhhh....that's not to be mentioned EVER again.
I'm feeling awefully generous, so I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time DEMOTION!!!!
Hehehe

But those were the good ol' days.
 
Demotion, hey what did I ever do wrong, your the one that made us drink, Eh Boozehound Rufus. I remember when you started feeding Dark Nation beer, and it bit my balls nearly off, that really stunk!
 
You know Rufus, that's a kickass character. She rocks!! However, just two questions:
1. what do you do on the internet that in your search you would come upon such a thing?
2. what is the song playing in the back?
 
The free time you have at Shinra Corp. must be limitless. Do you remember that porn collection you had two years ago? I'm pretty sure that chick Tifa was in one issue. I never bought that edition because a week later she was one the cover of weird breast disease magazine.
I think she caught Syphotits.
 
"The free time you have at Shinra Corp. must be limitless."
Hehehehe....good one, but, I will have you rank for breakfast soldier!

And that porn collection never existed. My father had a knack for collecting things, hence the sience fair project he kept upstairs. You think he was using Jenova for research? Hehehe, oh god how disgusting that was to walk in on.
Uuuuuhhhhh....woops.
And what porn collection of mine are you talking about?
 
And if you're talking about those pictures of Elena in the locker room, getting dressed, in her room, getting dressed, or of her lathering up in her personal showers, then I can explain.

It's RESEARCH!
 
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Sure, I'll share my reasearch with you, but first I have soemthing to say....
Well, one day I was going up on my way to my father's previous office, you know, with a knife up my sleeve so I could kill him, and I walked in on one of those moments- you know, then kind where you start gouging out your mind's eye in order to save yourself from the horrors of reality.

He was...mounting Jenova.



...........

And I think Scarlet's my mom. Dad always used to ask her to report daily on the "performance of the Big Cannon."

Kind of sketchy that he kept asking for her to take a person tour with him.
 
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Here are the yielded results of my reseach, and without the help of that loon Hojo:

Her alarm goes off at 6, but she doesn't get out of the bed until 7:33. After a streatching routine of 10 minutes, she hits the showers and REALLY likes to run her hands through her hair when she's washing her hair. She likes to preen herself for a short while before getting dressed in that dark suit (maybe I'll get her a snugger fitting suit for her birthday, hehehe).
She heads to the local corner shop for coffee and a sesame bagel. She hits the 75th floor exercise room.

Then she hits the desk, hits luch, dinner, gym, shower and tehn the bed.

And she's a 36 C.
 
Yeah, those "assignments" were quite memorable, hehehe. Ah, Elena, what a precious asset and member of teh Shin-Ra family. Perhaps she'll even be something more than just my desk jocky (wink wink).
 
There was no night Tifa! That was you, you drunk bum!

And on the Darkblade issue...why doesn't he like you? Was it something you had said anywhere that pissed him off?

And on that night you went staggerign towards Tifa in a drunken stupor, I do recall you tryign to do inappropriaet things to Dark Nation. That was just wrong Captain.
 
I'm pretty sure you spent a night with Tifa, the camera in your office does not lie. One day I was watching the screen in the security room between naps, and there I saw you mounting Tifa, it was even worse then the time I saw your father mounting Jenova. And another thing what the HECK was that black goo on her breast.
 
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