I needed to get back into writing again. I've had a period of writer's block and I've wanted to overcome it for a long time, so I wrote this down tonight. This took me quite a few hours – and many sad songs later – to write down. It's pretty close to my heart for personal reasons, considering it deals with some dark themes. I hope you read and enjoy it. Thank you.
Kayla Lovell knew she was always too late.
When she cried, she let out her emotions that she would keep bottled inside of her. She didn’t like to appear weak in front of anyone, not even her family for that matter. A battle had raged on for years to look strong to them and show that she could handle the issue of death. But even as she looked on at the funeral in the snowy cemetery, there was something holding her back. Something was bounding her feet to the ground.
It was probably gravity.
After the losses over the duration of her short seventeen years, you’d think that she would be used to it. But truth behold, Kayla could never get used to it. She could never confront those ailing feelings of grief. Death was not a light topic in her family. It tore apart the family, created feuds and brought them back together again …
If she was honest, death haunted her.
It was a phantom that relentlessly followed her wherever she went.
First, her dad died. She was only four years old.
A drunk driver killed him, but little Kayla – who happened to be in the backseat at the time – somehow managed to survive. She may have been young at the time, but the brief memory that displayed the flashing lights played over and over in Kayla’s dreams for many years.
Dad died because of her.
No one believed this, obviously. The drunk driver had been three times over the limit, but Kayla carried the guilt even now. It was something personal to her. Heck, Kayla didn’t even fully understand it herself.
She had a big heart with a lot to give, but didn’t know how to fully express herself through words. She had tried with actions, but it was never enough. As a result of her father’s death and the scars that ran deeper than anyone imagined, Kayla had difficulty socialising with others. There were repercussions to death, ones that she’d rather not discuss and keep a secret …
Before Kayla’s grandfather died two years later of a stroke, he told her that she was special. At six years old, any child would have taken that as a compliment and filled themselves with pride. Kayla wasn’t a child; she didn’t believe his words. But it would be these words that would come back to haunt Kayla. The Lovell family would speak these words silently through a faint, disturbing expression that signalled to her that there was something they were not telling her.
Not long after her grandfather died, the voices started speaking to her.
They were faint at first. Kayla had just turned the age of eight and cast these off as paranoid delusions. She remained firm on this for sometime, for five years.
As soon as the hormones kicked in, Kayla knew she was doomed from the word go.
The voices were no longer faceless and their volumes were turned up. Now constantly pestered by these illusions, Kayla’s grandmother had her admitted to a child psychiatrist. Therapy did somewhat solve the problem. The voices were still there, but the faces appeared less frequently. Kayla would often close her eyes and will them away, although this was not necessarily required on her part.
“Losers make promises they often break. Winners make commitments they always keep.”
That was something her grandmother said. But it did not matter to Kayla.
Two years after therapy ended, she died. Kayla could not bear the thought of losing her. Besides her own mother, she was the only relative she had left. With everyone else, she did not have the chance to say goodbye. She had been told the afternoon she arrived home from school. She died of natural causes, or so the doctors said.
It was another funeral just like the others.
She knew that there was something horribly wrong with the family. She felt that being a Lovell cursed her. She felt cursed to witness such devastating deaths. And so for the next two years, Kayla felt distant from everyone. She trapped herself in her numb shell for longer than she realised. She stopped eating for sometime, lost a lot of weight and was haunted by the voices.
But now there was one more funeral.
Kayla Lovell knew she was always too late.
The people in the church, did they really know her loved one? Did they really deserve the right to be there? Did this mean that she was fated to die next? Nothing could hold her back. There were no tears that could escape her eyes and slip down her cheeks. It was the latest death that caused Kayla to realise that her dad fought to keep the secret, her grandfather was right, her grandmother wanted to help and …
She stood in the cemetery for another hour, needing everyone to leave. It was still snowing. Perhaps not so heavily, but softly. Everywhere Kayla looked, people were dying. Her world was in ruins, yet she remained here. But why was she here? This was the first time she remained here alone. Within seventeen years, the happy baby had been transformed into the crippled mess that refused to accept her emotions ultimately controlled her.
“You can’t change the world.”
Secretly revelling in the wonderful voice that took hold of her attention, Kayla walked to the grave. Perhaps this was it. Perhaps this was the final goodbye.
“But you can say farewell to me.”
Kayla shook her head. The words were too much. Although she appeared to have let go of the past, it would always haunt her. Truth behold, she couldn’t let go of it whatsoever. It defined her, controlled her everyday routine. She wanted to lose control just for one moment. She wanted to will those bottled up tears to come streaming down her face. She wanted someone to come and fix her because she was broken. She was broken.
But pockets of resistance defied her from doing this.
Essentially, Kayla knew she was her own worst enemy. Her entire world had come crashing down. No one was going to save her. She was next, she could sense it. So why couldn’t she move? Had gravity bound her to the ground once again?
“Sweetheart, don’t ignore me. I’m right here.”
No.
The therapy taught her that this was her mind playing tricks on her. She wanted to say the unspoken, what was unsaid. But her lips remained pursed, perhaps due to the cold weather. Her nostrils were flaring, though. It took Kayla all her strength to keep calm. Was this death’s funny way of taking her so quickly, yet painfully? This was a mere figment of her imagination just like the rest of them – the voices and the faces …
“I can touch you if you like.”
No.
This wasn’t real. This couldn’t be real in the realm she existed in. And at the same time, there were chills being sent down her spine. Kayla shuddered, looking up at the dark sky. She fell to her knees, captivated by this unusual power. She secretly revelled in it, but felt pain at the same time. Was she a masochist? Were these illusions truly the beginning of the end?
“Look at me, Kayla, my beautiful Kayla.”
No.
That voice couldn’t be speaking right now, could it? She knew that the cold touch seeping through her veins was a mere illusion. Yes, this was truly the beginning of the end. God had decided to take her from this world. She imagined that this beautiful woman behind her was the devil in disguise. Yes, it made sense now. God was not tricking her; it was the devil. Lucifer wanted to take her next. He wanted the Lovell family all dead!
“You have so much to live for.”
No.
This was a trick. It just had to be. The cold touch, the voice … mere illusions that were dragging her down to her death and … hell. For the very first time in years, Kayla was truly afraid. She wished that she had never been born into the world if death was all she brought. She was in the car crash with her father, she received the words from her grandfather who then had the stroke, got taken to therapy to her grandmother that died soon after and …
“It wasn’t my intention to leave you. It was never their intention either.”
No.
That word ran through Kayla’s head. She was being tested here. How the hell could she even overcome this trial? She was still bound to gravity, staring at the grave in front of her. She wiped the grave with her right hand and shivered. The snow had picked up, almost as if it wanted her dead. Struggling with her emotions, Kayla almost stopped breathing when she saw the inscription on the grave.
“It’s ok to cry. I know you don’t want to, but I don’t mind. Honestly.”
Even now, the angel looked beautiful. Kayla had not seen her yet. She did not feel worthy of looking at her mother. She was free of the pain, of life. But she rose to her feet and stared down at the grave. There were no words to express how she felt. Her mother knew her better than she even did. She knew how she felt. It didn’t matter if she was here right now; there was nothing to compensate for that overwhelming feeling of loss.
And Kayla eventually forced herself to look at Valerie Lowell. She still looked as radiant as when she was alive. Her brunette locks fellow just below her shoulders, her blue eyes glistened in the snow and she was wearing the clothes she had died in – a pink blouse, simple navy jeans and light brown Ugg boots. Valerie was truly an angel that blinded Kayla; perhaps even rob her of all five senses if she had the power.
“This isn’t the end for you, Kayla, my beautiful Kayla. It wasn’t your fault.”
Wasn’t it?
“I only wanted to protect you. We Lovell’s may have the worst luck in the world for all I know, but don’t blame yourself. You shouldn’t be distancing yourself.”
But Kayla would continue to blame herself, despite the comforting words and despite the fact that she really was here now. Or at least only to her eyes, anyway. She didn’t want to remember the incident at the bank a month when the robbery took place …
“Please say something. I know you’ve not exactly been able to speak, but I want to at least hear you speak before I …”
“… Before … you … what?”
And the roles were reversed.
Valerie smiled, speechless for once. Kayla, surprised with the sound of her own voice, formed a confused expression upon her face. She was shocked she could even speak in spite of all that had happened over the duration of the past thirteen years combined. After releasing her hand from her throat, she slowly took two strides towards Valerie. There was a brief pause, a silence that echoed throughout the cemetery. This place, it was important. They both came to realise that perhaps it was time to move on. Valerie would cross over and Kayla would … well, she didn’t know what was next for her.
“I don’t want you to cause the death of my dream,” Valerie said, breaking the silence.
“Death of your … dream?” asked Kayla.
“After everything that had happened, I hoped – maybe even dreamt it once – that you’d be able to accept what you really were,” she explained. “You were unfortunate to lose everyone you’ve ever loved. But when your dad died, I knew. I had to make sure that you didn’t grow up the same way he did.”
Kayla crossed her arms. She resisted the urge to fall into her mother’s arms, to be embraced one last time. Even now, she was fighting the tears. Her emotions were heightened just seeing her mother’s angelic presence right now. Unexpectedly, Valerie turned away.
“Don’t walk away!” exclaimed Kayla, causing her mother to stop in her path. “Granddad … he told me something eleven years ago.”
“He wanted to tell you because he and your dad were exactly the same,” her mother responded. “And for the first time in a long time, the next child born into the family wasn’t a boy.” She turned around with that same warm smile she’d wear when she was fond of her daughter. “It was a girl. It was you. But even so, your dad didn’t want you having to face all of … this. He probably didn’t even want me to stay behind.”
“Well, thank you very much for telling me I can see ghosts.” Her sarcastic remark was perhaps the first of many truths she had told.
“I stayed behind watching you for a month. I didn’t want to go without telling you. Your dad couldn’t tell you because you were too young and neither could your granddad. I made your grandma swear she wouldn’t do it either at her deathbed. You were only thirteen. So I decided that I’d tell you when you were eighteen, but –”
“You died.”
Kayla’s sentence was delivered unexpectedly. She put it out frankly and forcefully.
Valerie could sense she was about to vent out her frustration, but did not say anything. She merely stood there, knowing that her daughter had the right to do whatever happened next. But strangely enough, she felt the warmness of life around her waist. It was a feeling she had been craving for many weeks now. It was painful, but it was good. It would be hard to cross over. It would be hard to leave her only child behind.
“I’m not letting you go,” Kayla whispered into her blouse, “not without the final goodbye because I’ve never been able to with anyone in the family.”
The overprotective mother smiled to herself. She allowed her cold hands to run through her daughter’s blonde hair that stopped at her shoulders. She looked down at her childlike brown eyes that showed wisdom beyond her years.
“You’ll make it through, Kayla,” said Valerie. “I am always going to be watching over you no matter what. I know it sounds cheesy, but I will. You’re the last Lovell and I know you’re going to do me proud with this extraordinary gift you have.”
“You really think seeing the dead and being able to touch them is a gift?”
“Just take into comfort that you could see me again. There’s probably not another soul on the planet that could do that. But I don’t want you to keep hold of me, Kayla.” She released herself from her daughter’s grip. “I want you to let go of the fact death has claimed us all, bar from you. I want you to hold onto our memories instead. Keep them fresh in your mind. Don’t forget us.”
The mother walked away from the daughter. She looked up at the sky and sighed happily at the sight of the snow falling down. It was as if the weather was blessing the passing over – and the future.
Kayla watched her mother enjoy the earth one last time. Death had always been around and was probably going to keep coming around since the voices and faces were ghosts, ghosts that only she could see. The final goodbye was now.
Valerie turned around and looked at her daughter for the final time. A tear slipped down her face when she looked to her right. She did not want to look at Kayla again. Otherwise, she did not want to leave.
“I can see my mum and dad!” she exclaimed with such delight. “They died before you were born. And … it’s your grandma and granddad. But … oh my, your dad’s there! They’re all there waiting for me.”
“You should keep going,” Kayla said, walking to the point when she was just behind Valerie. “You shouldn’t keep them waiting. I … I’ll be fine … now I’ve had the chance to … talk and say … goodbye.”
Bowing her head, Kayla waited for the moment for her mother to leave and pass on into the afterlife. It only took a few seconds, as Valerie took merely three steps before her image disappeared entirely.
A tear slipped down her face.
Her emotions finally took hold and Kayla fell to her knees once more.
She felt crippled by the loss, even with the happy final moments she shared with her beloved mother, and had almost forgotten how to dream. But Kayla slowly got back onto her feet. However, she allowed herself to fall back on the ground again.
With her back on the snow, she moved her arms and legs to make an angel on the ground. She glimpsed upwards to the skies. She knew that wherever her mother was, whether it was the afterlife or not, she knew that everyone else in the family was there. Perhaps someday, Kayla herself would go there.
But there was much to be accomplished yet.
The challenges of life – and death – awaited her. She heard a symphony in the background, probably at the caretaker’s lodge nearby, and closed her eyes. It soothed her soul. It comforted her. It reminded her that life was still here, waiting for her to make the next move. It proved to her that the world existed, wanting her to change it.
The Final Goodbye
Kayla Lovell knew she was always too late.
When she cried, she let out her emotions that she would keep bottled inside of her. She didn’t like to appear weak in front of anyone, not even her family for that matter. A battle had raged on for years to look strong to them and show that she could handle the issue of death. But even as she looked on at the funeral in the snowy cemetery, there was something holding her back. Something was bounding her feet to the ground.
It was probably gravity.
After the losses over the duration of her short seventeen years, you’d think that she would be used to it. But truth behold, Kayla could never get used to it. She could never confront those ailing feelings of grief. Death was not a light topic in her family. It tore apart the family, created feuds and brought them back together again …
If she was honest, death haunted her.
It was a phantom that relentlessly followed her wherever she went.
First, her dad died. She was only four years old.
A drunk driver killed him, but little Kayla – who happened to be in the backseat at the time – somehow managed to survive. She may have been young at the time, but the brief memory that displayed the flashing lights played over and over in Kayla’s dreams for many years.
Dad died because of her.
No one believed this, obviously. The drunk driver had been three times over the limit, but Kayla carried the guilt even now. It was something personal to her. Heck, Kayla didn’t even fully understand it herself.
She had a big heart with a lot to give, but didn’t know how to fully express herself through words. She had tried with actions, but it was never enough. As a result of her father’s death and the scars that ran deeper than anyone imagined, Kayla had difficulty socialising with others. There were repercussions to death, ones that she’d rather not discuss and keep a secret …
Before Kayla’s grandfather died two years later of a stroke, he told her that she was special. At six years old, any child would have taken that as a compliment and filled themselves with pride. Kayla wasn’t a child; she didn’t believe his words. But it would be these words that would come back to haunt Kayla. The Lovell family would speak these words silently through a faint, disturbing expression that signalled to her that there was something they were not telling her.
Not long after her grandfather died, the voices started speaking to her.
They were faint at first. Kayla had just turned the age of eight and cast these off as paranoid delusions. She remained firm on this for sometime, for five years.
As soon as the hormones kicked in, Kayla knew she was doomed from the word go.
The voices were no longer faceless and their volumes were turned up. Now constantly pestered by these illusions, Kayla’s grandmother had her admitted to a child psychiatrist. Therapy did somewhat solve the problem. The voices were still there, but the faces appeared less frequently. Kayla would often close her eyes and will them away, although this was not necessarily required on her part.
“Losers make promises they often break. Winners make commitments they always keep.”
That was something her grandmother said. But it did not matter to Kayla.
Two years after therapy ended, she died. Kayla could not bear the thought of losing her. Besides her own mother, she was the only relative she had left. With everyone else, she did not have the chance to say goodbye. She had been told the afternoon she arrived home from school. She died of natural causes, or so the doctors said.
It was another funeral just like the others.
She knew that there was something horribly wrong with the family. She felt that being a Lovell cursed her. She felt cursed to witness such devastating deaths. And so for the next two years, Kayla felt distant from everyone. She trapped herself in her numb shell for longer than she realised. She stopped eating for sometime, lost a lot of weight and was haunted by the voices.
But now there was one more funeral.
Kayla Lovell knew she was always too late.
The people in the church, did they really know her loved one? Did they really deserve the right to be there? Did this mean that she was fated to die next? Nothing could hold her back. There were no tears that could escape her eyes and slip down her cheeks. It was the latest death that caused Kayla to realise that her dad fought to keep the secret, her grandfather was right, her grandmother wanted to help and …
She stood in the cemetery for another hour, needing everyone to leave. It was still snowing. Perhaps not so heavily, but softly. Everywhere Kayla looked, people were dying. Her world was in ruins, yet she remained here. But why was she here? This was the first time she remained here alone. Within seventeen years, the happy baby had been transformed into the crippled mess that refused to accept her emotions ultimately controlled her.
“You can’t change the world.”
Secretly revelling in the wonderful voice that took hold of her attention, Kayla walked to the grave. Perhaps this was it. Perhaps this was the final goodbye.
“But you can say farewell to me.”
Kayla shook her head. The words were too much. Although she appeared to have let go of the past, it would always haunt her. Truth behold, she couldn’t let go of it whatsoever. It defined her, controlled her everyday routine. She wanted to lose control just for one moment. She wanted to will those bottled up tears to come streaming down her face. She wanted someone to come and fix her because she was broken. She was broken.
But pockets of resistance defied her from doing this.
Essentially, Kayla knew she was her own worst enemy. Her entire world had come crashing down. No one was going to save her. She was next, she could sense it. So why couldn’t she move? Had gravity bound her to the ground once again?
“Sweetheart, don’t ignore me. I’m right here.”
No.
The therapy taught her that this was her mind playing tricks on her. She wanted to say the unspoken, what was unsaid. But her lips remained pursed, perhaps due to the cold weather. Her nostrils were flaring, though. It took Kayla all her strength to keep calm. Was this death’s funny way of taking her so quickly, yet painfully? This was a mere figment of her imagination just like the rest of them – the voices and the faces …
“I can touch you if you like.”
No.
This wasn’t real. This couldn’t be real in the realm she existed in. And at the same time, there were chills being sent down her spine. Kayla shuddered, looking up at the dark sky. She fell to her knees, captivated by this unusual power. She secretly revelled in it, but felt pain at the same time. Was she a masochist? Were these illusions truly the beginning of the end?
“Look at me, Kayla, my beautiful Kayla.”
No.
That voice couldn’t be speaking right now, could it? She knew that the cold touch seeping through her veins was a mere illusion. Yes, this was truly the beginning of the end. God had decided to take her from this world. She imagined that this beautiful woman behind her was the devil in disguise. Yes, it made sense now. God was not tricking her; it was the devil. Lucifer wanted to take her next. He wanted the Lovell family all dead!
“You have so much to live for.”
No.
This was a trick. It just had to be. The cold touch, the voice … mere illusions that were dragging her down to her death and … hell. For the very first time in years, Kayla was truly afraid. She wished that she had never been born into the world if death was all she brought. She was in the car crash with her father, she received the words from her grandfather who then had the stroke, got taken to therapy to her grandmother that died soon after and …
“It wasn’t my intention to leave you. It was never their intention either.”
No.
That word ran through Kayla’s head. She was being tested here. How the hell could she even overcome this trial? She was still bound to gravity, staring at the grave in front of her. She wiped the grave with her right hand and shivered. The snow had picked up, almost as if it wanted her dead. Struggling with her emotions, Kayla almost stopped breathing when she saw the inscription on the grave.
Here lies
Valerie Lowell
14.02.70 – 24.11.10
Beloved daughter
Dedicated wife
Wonderful mother
Valerie Lowell
14.02.70 – 24.11.10
Beloved daughter
Dedicated wife
Wonderful mother
“It’s ok to cry. I know you don’t want to, but I don’t mind. Honestly.”
Even now, the angel looked beautiful. Kayla had not seen her yet. She did not feel worthy of looking at her mother. She was free of the pain, of life. But she rose to her feet and stared down at the grave. There were no words to express how she felt. Her mother knew her better than she even did. She knew how she felt. It didn’t matter if she was here right now; there was nothing to compensate for that overwhelming feeling of loss.
And Kayla eventually forced herself to look at Valerie Lowell. She still looked as radiant as when she was alive. Her brunette locks fellow just below her shoulders, her blue eyes glistened in the snow and she was wearing the clothes she had died in – a pink blouse, simple navy jeans and light brown Ugg boots. Valerie was truly an angel that blinded Kayla; perhaps even rob her of all five senses if she had the power.
“This isn’t the end for you, Kayla, my beautiful Kayla. It wasn’t your fault.”
Wasn’t it?
“I only wanted to protect you. We Lovell’s may have the worst luck in the world for all I know, but don’t blame yourself. You shouldn’t be distancing yourself.”
But Kayla would continue to blame herself, despite the comforting words and despite the fact that she really was here now. Or at least only to her eyes, anyway. She didn’t want to remember the incident at the bank a month when the robbery took place …
“Please say something. I know you’ve not exactly been able to speak, but I want to at least hear you speak before I …”
“… Before … you … what?”
And the roles were reversed.
Valerie smiled, speechless for once. Kayla, surprised with the sound of her own voice, formed a confused expression upon her face. She was shocked she could even speak in spite of all that had happened over the duration of the past thirteen years combined. After releasing her hand from her throat, she slowly took two strides towards Valerie. There was a brief pause, a silence that echoed throughout the cemetery. This place, it was important. They both came to realise that perhaps it was time to move on. Valerie would cross over and Kayla would … well, she didn’t know what was next for her.
“I don’t want you to cause the death of my dream,” Valerie said, breaking the silence.
“Death of your … dream?” asked Kayla.
“After everything that had happened, I hoped – maybe even dreamt it once – that you’d be able to accept what you really were,” she explained. “You were unfortunate to lose everyone you’ve ever loved. But when your dad died, I knew. I had to make sure that you didn’t grow up the same way he did.”
Kayla crossed her arms. She resisted the urge to fall into her mother’s arms, to be embraced one last time. Even now, she was fighting the tears. Her emotions were heightened just seeing her mother’s angelic presence right now. Unexpectedly, Valerie turned away.
“Don’t walk away!” exclaimed Kayla, causing her mother to stop in her path. “Granddad … he told me something eleven years ago.”
“He wanted to tell you because he and your dad were exactly the same,” her mother responded. “And for the first time in a long time, the next child born into the family wasn’t a boy.” She turned around with that same warm smile she’d wear when she was fond of her daughter. “It was a girl. It was you. But even so, your dad didn’t want you having to face all of … this. He probably didn’t even want me to stay behind.”
“Well, thank you very much for telling me I can see ghosts.” Her sarcastic remark was perhaps the first of many truths she had told.
“I stayed behind watching you for a month. I didn’t want to go without telling you. Your dad couldn’t tell you because you were too young and neither could your granddad. I made your grandma swear she wouldn’t do it either at her deathbed. You were only thirteen. So I decided that I’d tell you when you were eighteen, but –”
“You died.”
Kayla’s sentence was delivered unexpectedly. She put it out frankly and forcefully.
Valerie could sense she was about to vent out her frustration, but did not say anything. She merely stood there, knowing that her daughter had the right to do whatever happened next. But strangely enough, she felt the warmness of life around her waist. It was a feeling she had been craving for many weeks now. It was painful, but it was good. It would be hard to cross over. It would be hard to leave her only child behind.
“I’m not letting you go,” Kayla whispered into her blouse, “not without the final goodbye because I’ve never been able to with anyone in the family.”
The overprotective mother smiled to herself. She allowed her cold hands to run through her daughter’s blonde hair that stopped at her shoulders. She looked down at her childlike brown eyes that showed wisdom beyond her years.
“You’ll make it through, Kayla,” said Valerie. “I am always going to be watching over you no matter what. I know it sounds cheesy, but I will. You’re the last Lovell and I know you’re going to do me proud with this extraordinary gift you have.”
“You really think seeing the dead and being able to touch them is a gift?”
“Just take into comfort that you could see me again. There’s probably not another soul on the planet that could do that. But I don’t want you to keep hold of me, Kayla.” She released herself from her daughter’s grip. “I want you to let go of the fact death has claimed us all, bar from you. I want you to hold onto our memories instead. Keep them fresh in your mind. Don’t forget us.”
The mother walked away from the daughter. She looked up at the sky and sighed happily at the sight of the snow falling down. It was as if the weather was blessing the passing over – and the future.
Kayla watched her mother enjoy the earth one last time. Death had always been around and was probably going to keep coming around since the voices and faces were ghosts, ghosts that only she could see. The final goodbye was now.
Valerie turned around and looked at her daughter for the final time. A tear slipped down her face when she looked to her right. She did not want to look at Kayla again. Otherwise, she did not want to leave.
“I can see my mum and dad!” she exclaimed with such delight. “They died before you were born. And … it’s your grandma and granddad. But … oh my, your dad’s there! They’re all there waiting for me.”
“You should keep going,” Kayla said, walking to the point when she was just behind Valerie. “You shouldn’t keep them waiting. I … I’ll be fine … now I’ve had the chance to … talk and say … goodbye.”
Bowing her head, Kayla waited for the moment for her mother to leave and pass on into the afterlife. It only took a few seconds, as Valerie took merely three steps before her image disappeared entirely.
A tear slipped down her face.
Her emotions finally took hold and Kayla fell to her knees once more.
She felt crippled by the loss, even with the happy final moments she shared with her beloved mother, and had almost forgotten how to dream. But Kayla slowly got back onto her feet. However, she allowed herself to fall back on the ground again.
With her back on the snow, she moved her arms and legs to make an angel on the ground. She glimpsed upwards to the skies. She knew that wherever her mother was, whether it was the afterlife or not, she knew that everyone else in the family was there. Perhaps someday, Kayla herself would go there.
But there was much to be accomplished yet.
The challenges of life – and death – awaited her. She heard a symphony in the background, probably at the caretaker’s lodge nearby, and closed her eyes. It soothed her soul. It comforted her. It reminded her that life was still here, waiting for her to make the next move. It proved to her that the world existed, wanting her to change it.