Poetry Poems i had written for people i know

[slayer62]

That Sorrow Day
A poem to my cousin

As I walked into that church on this sorrow day as I see many faces filled with tears as memories ran through there minds of his life on earth as I see him lying there I cant stop my tears.

I hope yuo see the lord and prey with angels even though you're noy here today we still love you and we always will. So please give us the strenghth to be with you and I hope you know we miss you.

As i walked into that church on this sorrow day as I ssee many faces filled with tears as memories ran through there minds of his life on earth as I see him lying tjere I cant stop my tears.

What made you make the choice to pull that trigger and leave the ones you love. Why did you take your last breath out of hate and not love did you want to.

Now i'm here on his grave on this memorial day and I place this poem on his stone and remembered all those years of his life and cried every step and i told him we still lov you and always will

The Broken Valentine
a poem to my Ex

Last night i called you
But you didn't want to talk

You said you were tired of me
I cant get the words out of my head

I said I loved you
you just wanted to be alone

I miss you baby
wont you come back home to me

I miss your smile
It lightened up my day

I miss the time we shared
Those were the best of days

You were apart of me
The only one I could trust

I miss you baby
Would you please come back home to me

tell me what you think ok

 

[Donald Trump]

no offense but they are generic.

most poems written by teenagers are about how bad things are and how much what is happening to them sucks.

what im saying seems a bit harsh but what i mean is that they arent even slightly unique.

the first one has no structure.
you confuse the tenses
poems are songs, there is no chorus so you dont have to repeat the same stanza, repetition is good but only when its a word or idea is repeated, not a whole stanza. the execption is the tyger but blake is great.

as for the last one, couplets being thrown together doesnt constitute a poem imo.

it doesnt provoke thought, it doesnt question what love is or love itself.