So we've ALL been in this situation, I'm sure, on some level or another. When someone's relaying a message in a public place to vent, knowing that you'll see it and get the hint that they don't want to see you, talk to you, or they're just generally annoyed with you because of something you did or said. Maybe you did it not knowing it would hurt them, maybe you said something with a feeling it may hurt them, but did it anyway, or maybe you were just being outright unfair as well. There's a lot of different things to factor in, but it all somehow comes out poo in the end.
So what do you do? Apologize and out yourself as this 'friend' who did something wrong, while everyone else watches with bated breath, unsure of how it'll turn out? Do you even TRY to apologize? Will they bother to listen, or will they expect that you would have done something different about it and it's your fault anyway?
I ask cause I find myself in this current predicament. I mean, it's kind of my fault, I didn't expect that things would turn out like that (well, it wasn't terrible) but I could have avoided it and lied.. but that would defeat the purpose of it. Well, here's the story anyway.
I do mystery shopping on the side. I go to the few shops in my area available to me, and stealthily review the goings-on of the store.. I try purchase smokes and see if they ID me, I go to gas stations and do a general survey of the cleanliness of the lot. I get reimbursed and paid a bit extra to do this, and I've been doing this for like.. two years now nearly.
Last weekend I went and I saw someone I went to school with. We chatted, had a couple laughs, and then I went for it. I purchased my smokes, but I knew she wouldn't ID me. They haven't ID'd me at that store in a long time anyway when its different people, but by law they have to to anybody who appears 30 and under. So she doesn't ID me, I leave with my smokes, happy day.
I do my report online, and truthfully so. She didn't ID me. I didn't think anything of it.
Today I checked facebook and there's something up from her for me. "Thanks a lot to my "friend" (whom I don't ID at work because I know you're old enough to buy smokes) for almost losing my job!"
Now.. She didn't lose her job, that's the MAIN thing. If she did, I'd feel like a piece of shit. But she didn't. She got in trouble, but that's my job AND hers, y'know? If she didn't know me, she'd have to ID me. She'd have to ID me regardless. But she didn't, so she got in shit for it. Secondly, now I don't wanna sound like a bitch, but I don't know that we were even ever really friends? I never really got the feeling from her to begin with, except for maybe that day which was maybe just reminiscent of the past. We never hung out, we never made efforts to talk to each other. We hung out in the same crowd but we'd just be.. casual acquaintances. But she's pissed because she got in shit for not doing her job, and she wants to vent and take it out on me. Understandably so, but then what do I do? I can't really do anything. I can't respond and say 'you didn't do your job' because that'd make me out to be a piece of shit.
I just have to... sit here and take it?
Addendum: I got a rather scathing note on fb which is pretty much the sumation of the end of our friendship... followed aptly by a defriending. She's really pissed about this, saying she couldn't understand why I'd put her job and a 10K fine on the line like that for extra cash. Honestly, I didn't think anything to this degree would happen, several times over I go in there, they never ID'd me and nothing bad happened to them.
Urgh, my stomach hurts. =/
/rant
So what do you do? Apologize and out yourself as this 'friend' who did something wrong, while everyone else watches with bated breath, unsure of how it'll turn out? Do you even TRY to apologize? Will they bother to listen, or will they expect that you would have done something different about it and it's your fault anyway?
I ask cause I find myself in this current predicament. I mean, it's kind of my fault, I didn't expect that things would turn out like that (well, it wasn't terrible) but I could have avoided it and lied.. but that would defeat the purpose of it. Well, here's the story anyway.
I do mystery shopping on the side. I go to the few shops in my area available to me, and stealthily review the goings-on of the store.. I try purchase smokes and see if they ID me, I go to gas stations and do a general survey of the cleanliness of the lot. I get reimbursed and paid a bit extra to do this, and I've been doing this for like.. two years now nearly.
Last weekend I went and I saw someone I went to school with. We chatted, had a couple laughs, and then I went for it. I purchased my smokes, but I knew she wouldn't ID me. They haven't ID'd me at that store in a long time anyway when its different people, but by law they have to to anybody who appears 30 and under. So she doesn't ID me, I leave with my smokes, happy day.
I do my report online, and truthfully so. She didn't ID me. I didn't think anything of it.
Today I checked facebook and there's something up from her for me. "Thanks a lot to my "friend" (whom I don't ID at work because I know you're old enough to buy smokes) for almost losing my job!"
Now.. She didn't lose her job, that's the MAIN thing. If she did, I'd feel like a piece of shit. But she didn't. She got in trouble, but that's my job AND hers, y'know? If she didn't know me, she'd have to ID me. She'd have to ID me regardless. But she didn't, so she got in shit for it. Secondly, now I don't wanna sound like a bitch, but I don't know that we were even ever really friends? I never really got the feeling from her to begin with, except for maybe that day which was maybe just reminiscent of the past. We never hung out, we never made efforts to talk to each other. We hung out in the same crowd but we'd just be.. casual acquaintances. But she's pissed because she got in shit for not doing her job, and she wants to vent and take it out on me. Understandably so, but then what do I do? I can't really do anything. I can't respond and say 'you didn't do your job' because that'd make me out to be a piece of shit.
I just have to... sit here and take it?
Addendum: I got a rather scathing note on fb which is pretty much the sumation of the end of our friendship... followed aptly by a defriending. She's really pissed about this, saying she couldn't understand why I'd put her job and a 10K fine on the line like that for extra cash. Honestly, I didn't think anything to this degree would happen, several times over I go in there, they never ID'd me and nothing bad happened to them.
Urgh, my stomach hurts. =/
/rant
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