Ok so i have been thinking about this a lot... and i know there are a lot of threads probably about this since it is such a common thing... but my views on the subject are different really and more defined than most peoples so i figured it would be ok to start a new thread. Bear with me and please don't think me naive for believing in the possibility of love even at the age of 18.
So for a long time now this has been on my mind. I have thought about it in and out as thorough as i could, but i just keep getting the feeling that there is something i am missing maybe. In any case here is how i view Love:
In general i would like to start off by saying that the way i view things, there are three general categories of love which can be broken down to determine what human reactions are allowed, what reactions are frowned upon, and what reactions are required. These three categories are all simply defined as (in no particular order) -
1. Family Love
2. Friendship Love
3. Romantic Love
Now of course these are very broad categories, which can sometimes carry over into each other in some cases, but for the most part, the generalizations tend to fly solo. All types tend to stand alone without any dependency on any of the other types. Now when you break things down you start to understand that these three very similar categories produce Hundreds, if not thousands, or endless destinations for someone to arrive at if pushed far enough down the path.
Family Love
The first of course is family love, which is considered by me to be the most common type of love there is. Things that point to a Family Love situation are obvious usually (IE - Relatives by blood or law). Mostly we consider only the most immediate relatives when observing family love, though in rare cases it can also be exhibited to and from either new family members, or long lost relatives. Due to the nature of the marriage and family trees, one can easily guess that if your family has really lived in the same area for more than 200 years, there is a slight possibility that you might be dating your cousin once removed >.<.
Actions Associated with family love fall under the category of low profile, meaning that they are kept to a minimum when in the presents of someone you love as your family. Things that one would normally do with friends and outside of the home, can quickly become the topic of punishment when dealing with parents. Therefore, the playing field is kept on a relative scale. Kids keep things from parent's and parent's keep things from their children. Though during all of this, both parties still love each other as much as they did from the beginning. Family ties are harder to break in most cases than the other types of love are. This is because (most of the time) the parents have raised their children and been with them everyday of their lives, creating a strong bond for most children.
However Family love can go wrong, and it is rather simple. Brought on by abuse, peer pressure, or just sheer teenage rebellion in most cases, though sometimes religion, integrity, or even just neglect is likely to tip the scale. when a family tie breaks of course, the bond is broken can be easily fixed if mended in the right way. Throwing money at the problem would be the wrong way of mending, allowing your child to be their self or your parents to actually understand you is a good way of mending it. Some situations have no chance of being mended. Both parties must agree in their minds before mending can occur, and if the relationship wasn't that strong to begin with then the odds are it will likely fail to even begin the mending process.
Friendship Love
Friendship Love is the second most common type, though less prominent than Family Love, Friendship love is the easiest to maintain due to the lack of effort needed to keep it going. We all have had friends so we know what it's like. Friendship love is simple in the sense that when two people share an interest, they are often driven to love each other as friends. The ticking element in the core of Friendship love is Interest. These relationships usually grow as the interests both parties agree on expand. These relationships can have no limitations, and can in some cases be the beginning of a Friendship-Family Relationship. In most cases though, friends stay friends. There is always a Best friend, and there is always a Worst friend (though in most cases it is not admitted) Best friends usually share many interests and have spent lots of time together, but sometimes these factors can have nothing to do with it. Life is unpredictable after all. Worst friends are usually the people that someone has spent the least amount of time with, and has the least in common with.
Unlike Family Love, the actions associated with Friendship love are often on a more relaxed basis. Things that one would normally not do at home where Family love comes in, are able to be done easier with friends around who will not judge you. Standards mean nothing to friends, and so that means status has nothing to do when it really comes down to it. A poor child can befriend a rich child if they both agree on enough interests.
Friendship bonds are often the easiest to break as well. Though these relationships require virtually no effort, they are indeed capable of being broken easily. If enough interests slip, and a friend is neglected for long enough, a bond can be snapped even without the primary party noticing until a later date. The amount of time poured into a a friendship love relationship doesn't seem to have any effect on how long the bond breaks. In very rare times, friendships will lie dormant for years without any words exchanged at all until one day one speaks to the other. The reason is unknown, and the neglect time seems to vary depending on the friend in question and their personality.
Romantic Love
By far the hardest to maintain, and the most complex of the thee categories. Romantic love is often confused with Lust. Let me be very clear when i say that sex is not a factor in romantic love relationship. If the relationship is true enough to be Romantic Love, then petty things such as that should not matter, though it is openly used as a way to express ones passion, Sex is an action. The inner parts that make these types of relationships vary really, and in the world today these are the rarest of rare finds when discussing the types of Love. Romantic Love breaks down into three other categories which i wont go into detail on. Those categories are: Romantic Crushes, Deep Infatuation, and Pure Romantic Love (which does not exist in practice anywhere on earth. It is merely theory to work towards). Interests and time play big roles in these relationships usually, but sometimes looks, personality, and many other factors may come into play. As i said before, these are the most complex forms of Love.
Actions usually Associated with this form of love vary. Depending on the situation, they can be low profile, or they can be high profile (meaning that it was a VERY open relationship) Though most tend to hang in the intermediate profile range. Actions require thought before going through with anything, considering any possible outcomes before actually acting on plans. These relationships are fragile. So everything must be considered when planning things such as an outing or even watching a movie. Too many factors come into play to pin point them down to just one element.
Due to the multiple elements of this type of love, it is hard to really explain the difficulties expressed when these relationships break. It really depends on what sub type it was. If is was a Romantic Crush, then the fall is usually hard for both parties, though a tiny bit easier for one at first. By simply telling the other it is over, the relationship can end. Deep Infatuation is a different story as the relationships usually span many years. In most cases, these relationships turn into marriage for the wrong reasons, leading both parties to regret. Things are a lot more difficult in Deep Infatuations than just saying goodbye. Parties must consider the consequences of those and those around them before ending things. Pure Romantic Love is a different story all together. Being the theoretic relationships that they are, they are impossible to end. Theses relationships are impossible in practice however, due to the amount of thought, effort, time, and mere chance that has to fall into place at just the right point. Both parties in these relationships are dedicated to one another, able to see over everything else and able to let anything and everything go. These relationships do not end due to their high amount of tolerance for one another.
There is a lot more to get into but its late so that's all i'm going to type for now. If i get feed back from this i would gladly share my more defined views on Romantic love. I want to hear some of your views on all of this too though.
So for a long time now this has been on my mind. I have thought about it in and out as thorough as i could, but i just keep getting the feeling that there is something i am missing maybe. In any case here is how i view Love:
In general i would like to start off by saying that the way i view things, there are three general categories of love which can be broken down to determine what human reactions are allowed, what reactions are frowned upon, and what reactions are required. These three categories are all simply defined as (in no particular order) -
1. Family Love
2. Friendship Love
3. Romantic Love
Now of course these are very broad categories, which can sometimes carry over into each other in some cases, but for the most part, the generalizations tend to fly solo. All types tend to stand alone without any dependency on any of the other types. Now when you break things down you start to understand that these three very similar categories produce Hundreds, if not thousands, or endless destinations for someone to arrive at if pushed far enough down the path.
Family Love
The first of course is family love, which is considered by me to be the most common type of love there is. Things that point to a Family Love situation are obvious usually (IE - Relatives by blood or law). Mostly we consider only the most immediate relatives when observing family love, though in rare cases it can also be exhibited to and from either new family members, or long lost relatives. Due to the nature of the marriage and family trees, one can easily guess that if your family has really lived in the same area for more than 200 years, there is a slight possibility that you might be dating your cousin once removed >.<.
Actions Associated with family love fall under the category of low profile, meaning that they are kept to a minimum when in the presents of someone you love as your family. Things that one would normally do with friends and outside of the home, can quickly become the topic of punishment when dealing with parents. Therefore, the playing field is kept on a relative scale. Kids keep things from parent's and parent's keep things from their children. Though during all of this, both parties still love each other as much as they did from the beginning. Family ties are harder to break in most cases than the other types of love are. This is because (most of the time) the parents have raised their children and been with them everyday of their lives, creating a strong bond for most children.
However Family love can go wrong, and it is rather simple. Brought on by abuse, peer pressure, or just sheer teenage rebellion in most cases, though sometimes religion, integrity, or even just neglect is likely to tip the scale. when a family tie breaks of course, the bond is broken can be easily fixed if mended in the right way. Throwing money at the problem would be the wrong way of mending, allowing your child to be their self or your parents to actually understand you is a good way of mending it. Some situations have no chance of being mended. Both parties must agree in their minds before mending can occur, and if the relationship wasn't that strong to begin with then the odds are it will likely fail to even begin the mending process.
Friendship Love
Friendship Love is the second most common type, though less prominent than Family Love, Friendship love is the easiest to maintain due to the lack of effort needed to keep it going. We all have had friends so we know what it's like. Friendship love is simple in the sense that when two people share an interest, they are often driven to love each other as friends. The ticking element in the core of Friendship love is Interest. These relationships usually grow as the interests both parties agree on expand. These relationships can have no limitations, and can in some cases be the beginning of a Friendship-Family Relationship. In most cases though, friends stay friends. There is always a Best friend, and there is always a Worst friend (though in most cases it is not admitted) Best friends usually share many interests and have spent lots of time together, but sometimes these factors can have nothing to do with it. Life is unpredictable after all. Worst friends are usually the people that someone has spent the least amount of time with, and has the least in common with.
Unlike Family Love, the actions associated with Friendship love are often on a more relaxed basis. Things that one would normally not do at home where Family love comes in, are able to be done easier with friends around who will not judge you. Standards mean nothing to friends, and so that means status has nothing to do when it really comes down to it. A poor child can befriend a rich child if they both agree on enough interests.
Friendship bonds are often the easiest to break as well. Though these relationships require virtually no effort, they are indeed capable of being broken easily. If enough interests slip, and a friend is neglected for long enough, a bond can be snapped even without the primary party noticing until a later date. The amount of time poured into a a friendship love relationship doesn't seem to have any effect on how long the bond breaks. In very rare times, friendships will lie dormant for years without any words exchanged at all until one day one speaks to the other. The reason is unknown, and the neglect time seems to vary depending on the friend in question and their personality.
Romantic Love
By far the hardest to maintain, and the most complex of the thee categories. Romantic love is often confused with Lust. Let me be very clear when i say that sex is not a factor in romantic love relationship. If the relationship is true enough to be Romantic Love, then petty things such as that should not matter, though it is openly used as a way to express ones passion, Sex is an action. The inner parts that make these types of relationships vary really, and in the world today these are the rarest of rare finds when discussing the types of Love. Romantic Love breaks down into three other categories which i wont go into detail on. Those categories are: Romantic Crushes, Deep Infatuation, and Pure Romantic Love (which does not exist in practice anywhere on earth. It is merely theory to work towards). Interests and time play big roles in these relationships usually, but sometimes looks, personality, and many other factors may come into play. As i said before, these are the most complex forms of Love.
Actions usually Associated with this form of love vary. Depending on the situation, they can be low profile, or they can be high profile (meaning that it was a VERY open relationship) Though most tend to hang in the intermediate profile range. Actions require thought before going through with anything, considering any possible outcomes before actually acting on plans. These relationships are fragile. So everything must be considered when planning things such as an outing or even watching a movie. Too many factors come into play to pin point them down to just one element.
Due to the multiple elements of this type of love, it is hard to really explain the difficulties expressed when these relationships break. It really depends on what sub type it was. If is was a Romantic Crush, then the fall is usually hard for both parties, though a tiny bit easier for one at first. By simply telling the other it is over, the relationship can end. Deep Infatuation is a different story as the relationships usually span many years. In most cases, these relationships turn into marriage for the wrong reasons, leading both parties to regret. Things are a lot more difficult in Deep Infatuations than just saying goodbye. Parties must consider the consequences of those and those around them before ending things. Pure Romantic Love is a different story all together. Being the theoretic relationships that they are, they are impossible to end. Theses relationships are impossible in practice however, due to the amount of thought, effort, time, and mere chance that has to fall into place at just the right point. Both parties in these relationships are dedicated to one another, able to see over everything else and able to let anything and everything go. These relationships do not end due to their high amount of tolerance for one another.
There is a lot more to get into but its late so that's all i'm going to type for now. If i get feed back from this i would gladly share my more defined views on Romantic love. I want to hear some of your views on all of this too though.
), but after a brief period of not talking he changed too much for me to feel the same.