Poetry Just some need positve feedback/criticism

[IamKazam]

Alright, I have not written much poetry, and it has been a long time since I last did. I'm just looking for some positive advice and criticism, and to see what other people think.
Anyway, this poem is reflective of a caracter I have created and plan to include in a future book if I ever get to writing it. Again, anything that you think needs improvemet, don't hesitate to correct it. I already know there are some rough patches. Here we go:

They say you are lost, they say you are gone
But my love we will be one again,
I hear you voice reverberate within my heart
It is calling me, calling me to you

I traverse the dark corridors and the shadowed halls
As I descend into the blackest black of the abyss,
I follow you song, strengthening its calls
I will be with you soon my love, if I only persist

Ahead of me I catch a faint light shine
I fly towards it with all the strength I bear,
I pass into it, knowing you will be mine
Seeing what lies before me, I can only stop and stare

Gazing into the maelstrom that rages on and on,
Within its center a hand beckons me forth,
To grab that hand and hold it dear is something that I long,
I must brave this chaos, to you to prove my worth

Walking down this road concieved of my inner strife
Getting closer to the hand, i finally reach out,
I touch that hand and am filled with new life,
We are one again my love, of that there is no doubt

Kneeling before you I peer into your soft eyes
You brandish a smile as I stroke your gentle face,
Without a word you command me to rise,
Taking you into my arms, we hold a long embrace

Behind me the door shuts, I don't look back and never will
With you my love, my sole and greatest thrill
All around us, the storm slows and begins to cease
Now we are alone my love, alone in perfect peace

Holding you close for what seems like forever
You are my prize, my reward for my endeavor
Looking at your gentle face once more, you begin to fog and fade,
Why is this happening, why are you slipping into the shade?

Are you leaving because I am oh so weak?
Your loving image, not strong enough to seek,
I lost you once, I sought and found you till no end,
I found you then lost you, and am alone once again.

 

[IamKazam]

Surprisingly impressed by this actually. Whiny emo-try annoys me and i fully expected to read 3 lines of this and close the thread, but it's got good flow, doesn't degenerate, and has a good use of language.

I'd suggest being careful with when and how you change your rhyme scheme, since it can definetely interrupt the flow of the poem.

I'd maybe think about turning it into a song rather than a poem to be honest, since you seem to be limited by the traditional rhyme schemes and it hurts the work at a couple of points.

Not bad at all though.

Thanks for the advice and feedback.
Anyway I don't really consider the poem "emo", just sad and kida dark. There is definatly a fine line between the two, and I am happy you noticed that. Again, this is just reflective of a character I had in mind, not me. (Just want to mention I far from being a "sad" or emo person)
Now about the ryhming: It is funny you should mention that it would probably be better off as a song, I draw a lot more inspiration from songs than I do regular poems (but hey, it is all poetry). I didn't realize that could manifest in my writing like that. I also wanted to rhyme to sort of challenge myself I suppose. I am considering writing a version without the rhyme scheme and post it to see how they compare.
Again, thanks for reading, glad you liked it. =)