I think maybe I've immatured in a way, TBH. I used to be very... serious and play by the rules and even act as a "leader" around others. But lately, I feel like whatever maturity I used to have is now slipping, if that makes sense. I used to be pretty level headed but lately I act like an idiot. I prefer to be a little oblivious as well, not cuz I honestly don't see bad stuff--but it just gets so overwhelming that I put up this sort of defense, if you will, to try and protect myself from all the bad. I feel like all the "seriousness" of always acting like a grown up when i was a kid (or the "old soul" like so many tell me) has permanently drained me emotionally. I never had time to just... be the immature kid while growing up like I was supposed to be, and I feel like it's stunted me in a way where now I'm doing anything to recapture what I lost, or should I say, what I never had. :/ It's hard to explain, really. I used to be a very secure person, reliable in a way for others--my sister would still say I am, but I don't feel like I am. I feel like I'm immature because I have a real problem with opening up emotionally to anyone and telling them what's on my mind and I feel like if a person can't do that then they'll never truly mature. :/
I'm not sure if I'm depressed or what, but I'm finding myself dreading reality more and more each and every day. And not to get all Pan's Labyrinth on everyone, but, I think the reason why I write so many fanfictions and stay involved with tv shows/games is because I secretly crave to escape my problems. That's not to say that I want to be in some crappy fantasy world with flying horses or some crap over the good that the real world can provide, it's just--I'd like to image my life without all the bad, ye know? and to me, i think that's immature of me. I know it's a problem but we all got problems I suppose. :/
none of this made any sense, but tl;dr--I'm an immature person and anyone who sticks around long enough to know me will realize this and eventually part ways with me.
I'm not sure if I'm depressed or what, but I'm finding myself dreading reality more and more each and every day. And not to get all Pan's Labyrinth on everyone, but, I think the reason why I write so many fanfictions and stay involved with tv shows/games is because I secretly crave to escape my problems. That's not to say that I want to be in some crappy fantasy world with flying horses or some crap over the good that the real world can provide, it's just--I'd like to image my life without all the bad, ye know? and to me, i think that's immature of me. I know it's a problem but we all got problems I suppose. :/
none of this made any sense, but tl;dr--I'm an immature person and anyone who sticks around long enough to know me will realize this and eventually part ways with me.
