Poetry Forever

M1ghty Mous3

CLKWRK
Joined
Dec 24, 2008
Messages
408
Location
Anywhere and Everywhere
Gil
0
You may not know it
But beneath the layers
Under all the joy
Buried 90% of the time

I'm empty
It may not look it
But yes
Hollow be my name

Forgotten I seem
Lost in the dust
Amongst particle of sand
To forever be lost

Life has folded me
No longer holding my original shape
Crumpled like paper
Where is the first crease?

Dwelling on whats happen
And happening
Is it too much?
Looks to be so

I have entered
The demons doorway
Blinded by the darkness
Wandering in a maze

Why must I require government blood?
Why must I spend time rotting away in this barren wasteland?
Why must i continue?
Why?

Is there an end to any of this?
Or is this just all a game?
Played by life
Whose only goal is to make me crumble

That weekend
I realized
I was happiest then
I had no worries
All that was important was
What are we doing next?
That was it
No time line
No worries
No cares
Utter bliss

That is what i thrive for
But it seems un-attainable
Dig it all up
Uncover the ancient treasure of man

Forever
May I dwell
Forever
May i crumble
Forever
May I be lost in this haze
Forever
 
personally, its not the style I'm used to writing in but I like it. :) The words dont rhyme so it isn't really lyrical, which is how I usually write, but the words are strong and well organized, lots of meaning can be drawn to it and of course this only proves there are multiple ways to write. Images could be formed with things like 'Life has folded me' and 'among particles of sand'

you start to feel the pain and emotion when you say you are empty and that grows as you explain the hardships you mentally experience. I have to say... my favorite line for some reason is "Where is the first crease?" Something about that just caught me. Hard to say really. However, all in all, you did a wonderful job in my opinion, keep writing man, I can't wait for the next.
 
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