CaptCollins
Newbie
Well hey everyone. Names Liam. Been a fan of this incredible series my whole life and there is little I love more in this world then Final Fantasy. 7 and 10 are my favorites and I thought 10 would be the easiest to write so I chose that.
Im 17, I cant write for shit and im not very creative. Im doing this for myself and so I can share this incredible story with people who arent into games. Though clearly it wont be half as good without the beautiful music and all. Anyway I thought it time to post chapter 1 of the novel, see what people think and get some useful tips on how to not blow at writing. I dont want to hear shit about how I shouldnt re-write it because its something i've wanted to do for a long time, just for me. So please help me out but dont be to mean?
Thanks!
- Liam
(Rough drapht, still needs improvements)
My story begins at night time, in the city of Zanarkand. Several people are standing around, talking to each other. I’m about six feet tall, long blond hair, and blue eyes. Just as I appear all the ladies shout and cheer. I approach the crowd of people, first going to a group of small kids.
"Can you sign this?" Said one of the little ones. The kid holds out a blitzball.
"No prob!" I said. Another small kid holds up a blitzball
"Please!" I reached for the ball
"Alright, take it easy!" I signed the ball and walked up to two girls holding Blitzballs; one with a pink top, and one in a blue outfit.
"Can I have your autograph?" Said the one in the pink.
"Of course!" I said. I signed her blitzball & gave it back to her. The other girl handed me a blitzball.
"Good luck tonight!" Said the one in the blue.
"Nothing to worry about!" I said confidently. I signed her blitzball, spun it on my finger & gave the ball back to her.
"Oh, if I score a goal…I'll do this!" I said raising my arms in the air.
"That will mean it was for you, okay?" The two girls giggled.
"What seat?"
"East block, in the front row! Fifth from the right!" The two giggled.
"Got it!" I said, now surrounded by blitzball fans, and a little kid balancing a blitzball on his forehead.
"Well, gotta go! Cheer for me!" The three kids do a series of hand motions and conclude by bowing to me. I started to head to the stadium running through the streets of Zanarkand. A highly technological city, full of high-rise buildings, lights, and waterfalls. I stopped and looked up at a billboard, as I stared at it intently. It's a man with a red bandana. I smirked, and began to run. The voice of a blitzball announcer is heard as I ran through the streets.
"I was in a coffee shop, running away from home when I heard the news."
"Our hero, Jecht, gone, vanished into thin air!"
"My dad must have been his biggest fan. I knew how sad he'd be. Heck, we all were that day."
""Zanar," I says to myself, "What are you thinking?""
"I went running straight back home. We sat up talking 'bout Jecht all night."
"My dad and I never talked so much. Whoa... Didn't mean to reminisce, folks."
"Anyways... Ten years later, the Jecht Memorial Cup tournament is today!"
"The two teams that have won through to the finals are...of course, the Abes from A-East and the Duggles from C-South."
"I know there's a lot of people out there today to see the star of the Abes!"
"In just one year, he's become the team's number one player!"
"He's Jecht's blood, and the new hope of blitzball! What kind of super play will he show us today?"
"Will we see his father's legendary shot? I don't think I'm the only one excited here, folks!"
I approached the blitzball stadium. Tons of screaming fans ran up to me. Since I was already running late I began to shout and push my way through the crowd of fans.
"Make way, make way!"
"Coming through, sorry!"
"Hey, I'm gonna be late!"
"Let go of me!" I managed to run into the stadium.
I was sitting in the dark with my eyes closed. As my eyes opened, a ball of energy in the middle of a demi-circle began to expand. Flocks of people enter the stadium. I stood up, much to the enjoyment of the fans, as they cheer. Far away, a mysterious man clothed in red with sunglasses stands on a high-rise with an overview of the stadium. He holds up what appears to be a white jug, as a massive tidal wave approaches Zanarakand. We return to the stadium and the Blitzball match; much brawling and passing occurs. The fans cheer. Someone even gets knocked out of the water into the stands. The man is walking through Zanarakand towards the stadium, as the huge tidal wave has now turned into a ball of water, which gets even closer to the city. The Abes score, it's now 1-0. The fans cheer more. As both teams rush towards a loose ball, I jumped into the air, above the sphere of water, as the ball is sent up out of the water to reach me. I prepared to do a bicycle kick, when I saw the massive ball of water. The water ball sends out dozens of huge water bullets which smash into Zanarkand. Everything gets engulfed in water. I grabbed a hold of a girder from the stadium hanging on for my life. As the stadium below is destroyed and engulfed in water. My fingers slipped and I started to fall.
Dozens of fans begin running out of the now destroyed stadium. I stood up, luckily unhurt and started torun away as well as I spotted the man clothed in red.
"Auron!" I exclaimed.
"What are you doing here?"
"I was waiting for you." Auron said calmly.
"What are you talking about?" Auron starts to walk away as I followed down the streets of Zanarakand. People are running through the streets in a frenzy. I was moving around aimlessly. All of a sudden, time froze. I looked around frantically. A short mysterious person appeared out of nowhere.
"It begins." Said the child. I turned around and looked at the little person looking confused.
"wha?"
"Don't cry." Said the child. Time unfroze and the mysterious boy was gone. I gasped, and looked around. Not sure of what just happened, I started to run to meet back up with Auron.
"Look!" Said Auron. I looked up at the large ball of water hovering over Zanarkand, I gasped.
"We called it "Sin".
"Sin?" I said puzzled. A monster appeared smashing into the side of a building. It spread its tentacles unleashing hundreds of small pods that ejected from it, landing on the ground. They turned into small bug creatures which surrounded me in a circle. I aimlessly tried to fight them off with my hands, but I eventually fell backwards.
"Take it." Said Auron as he handed the sword to me. I took it, as I held it high in the air, before nearly dropping it.
"A gift from Jecht."
"My old man?" I said.
Tidus moves forward, swinging the blade. The bug-creatures move backwards. Tidus loses his balance and falls backwards again.
"I hope you know how to use it." Said Auron. The battle begins. They cut some bugs but more drop.
"These ones don't matter. We cut through!" Shouted Auron. They kill some more. But more fall.
"Don't bother going after all of them. Cut the ones in the way, and run!" Said Auron as he sliced through a bug with his oversized sword. They manage to get through and they begin to run.
A loud noise occurs. Tidus looks at Auron, who begins to run to the noise. Tidus follows. They come face to face with the big tentacle monster, surrounded by a few of the bugs from before. A battle begins with what Auron called a Sin Spawn. They eventually defeat it. It blows up and the battle ends; Auron runs ahead, Tidus follows. They return to the area before where Tidus was looking at the billboard. He looks up at it again while running with Auron.
"Auron! Let's get out of here!"
"We're expected." Said Auron.
"Huh?" Said Tidus as Auron started to run.
"Gimme a break, man!" Tidus started to follow Auron when suddenly more small pods began to fall around them. They completely surround the both of them..
"Hmph. This could be bad." Said Auron. He glanced over to a piece of machinery
"That--knock it down!" He yelled.
"What?" Tidus seemed confused.
"Trust me. You'll see." Auron said confidently. They attacked the machine. The more they hit it, the more it crackled with energy. Eventually, it exploded. Falling off the bridge, creating a massive explosion. All the bugs are destroyed and the bridge itself begins to blow up]
"Go!" Shouted Auron.
They continue to run, avoiding the bridge which is blowing up. Tidus makes a huge leap and grabs onto the edge of a broken part of the road, which is diagonally facing upward. He hangs onto the ledge. Auron over, standing above Tidus' hands.
"Auron! Auron!" Tidus yelled. The ball of water - Sin - is now above them, and appears to be a large wormhole which is sucking things in. Auron looks up at it.
"You are sure?" said Auron to the giant creature.
He looked back at Tidus.
"This is it."
He picks him up by the collar of his shirt
"This is your story. It all begins here."
In a flash of blinding light Auron and I were both sucked into the giant wormhole.
Im 17, I cant write for shit and im not very creative. Im doing this for myself and so I can share this incredible story with people who arent into games. Though clearly it wont be half as good without the beautiful music and all. Anyway I thought it time to post chapter 1 of the novel, see what people think and get some useful tips on how to not blow at writing. I dont want to hear shit about how I shouldnt re-write it because its something i've wanted to do for a long time, just for me. So please help me out but dont be to mean?
Thanks!
- Liam
(Rough drapht, still needs improvements)
Chapter 1: Sin is born
"Can you sign this?" Said one of the little ones. The kid holds out a blitzball.
"No prob!" I said. Another small kid holds up a blitzball
"Please!" I reached for the ball
"Alright, take it easy!" I signed the ball and walked up to two girls holding Blitzballs; one with a pink top, and one in a blue outfit.
"Can I have your autograph?" Said the one in the pink.
"Of course!" I said. I signed her blitzball & gave it back to her. The other girl handed me a blitzball.
"Good luck tonight!" Said the one in the blue.
"Nothing to worry about!" I said confidently. I signed her blitzball, spun it on my finger & gave the ball back to her.
"Oh, if I score a goal…I'll do this!" I said raising my arms in the air.
"That will mean it was for you, okay?" The two girls giggled.
"What seat?"
"East block, in the front row! Fifth from the right!" The two giggled.
"Got it!" I said, now surrounded by blitzball fans, and a little kid balancing a blitzball on his forehead.
"Well, gotta go! Cheer for me!" The three kids do a series of hand motions and conclude by bowing to me. I started to head to the stadium running through the streets of Zanarkand. A highly technological city, full of high-rise buildings, lights, and waterfalls. I stopped and looked up at a billboard, as I stared at it intently. It's a man with a red bandana. I smirked, and began to run. The voice of a blitzball announcer is heard as I ran through the streets.
"I was in a coffee shop, running away from home when I heard the news."
"Our hero, Jecht, gone, vanished into thin air!"
"My dad must have been his biggest fan. I knew how sad he'd be. Heck, we all were that day."
""Zanar," I says to myself, "What are you thinking?""
"I went running straight back home. We sat up talking 'bout Jecht all night."
"My dad and I never talked so much. Whoa... Didn't mean to reminisce, folks."
"Anyways... Ten years later, the Jecht Memorial Cup tournament is today!"
"The two teams that have won through to the finals are...of course, the Abes from A-East and the Duggles from C-South."
"I know there's a lot of people out there today to see the star of the Abes!"
"In just one year, he's become the team's number one player!"
"He's Jecht's blood, and the new hope of blitzball! What kind of super play will he show us today?"
"Will we see his father's legendary shot? I don't think I'm the only one excited here, folks!"
I approached the blitzball stadium. Tons of screaming fans ran up to me. Since I was already running late I began to shout and push my way through the crowd of fans.
"Make way, make way!"
"Coming through, sorry!"
"Hey, I'm gonna be late!"
"Let go of me!" I managed to run into the stadium.
I was sitting in the dark with my eyes closed. As my eyes opened, a ball of energy in the middle of a demi-circle began to expand. Flocks of people enter the stadium. I stood up, much to the enjoyment of the fans, as they cheer. Far away, a mysterious man clothed in red with sunglasses stands on a high-rise with an overview of the stadium. He holds up what appears to be a white jug, as a massive tidal wave approaches Zanarakand. We return to the stadium and the Blitzball match; much brawling and passing occurs. The fans cheer. Someone even gets knocked out of the water into the stands. The man is walking through Zanarakand towards the stadium, as the huge tidal wave has now turned into a ball of water, which gets even closer to the city. The Abes score, it's now 1-0. The fans cheer more. As both teams rush towards a loose ball, I jumped into the air, above the sphere of water, as the ball is sent up out of the water to reach me. I prepared to do a bicycle kick, when I saw the massive ball of water. The water ball sends out dozens of huge water bullets which smash into Zanarkand. Everything gets engulfed in water. I grabbed a hold of a girder from the stadium hanging on for my life. As the stadium below is destroyed and engulfed in water. My fingers slipped and I started to fall.
Dozens of fans begin running out of the now destroyed stadium. I stood up, luckily unhurt and started torun away as well as I spotted the man clothed in red.
"Auron!" I exclaimed.
"What are you doing here?"
"I was waiting for you." Auron said calmly.
"What are you talking about?" Auron starts to walk away as I followed down the streets of Zanarakand. People are running through the streets in a frenzy. I was moving around aimlessly. All of a sudden, time froze. I looked around frantically. A short mysterious person appeared out of nowhere.
"It begins." Said the child. I turned around and looked at the little person looking confused.
"wha?"
"Don't cry." Said the child. Time unfroze and the mysterious boy was gone. I gasped, and looked around. Not sure of what just happened, I started to run to meet back up with Auron.
"Look!" Said Auron. I looked up at the large ball of water hovering over Zanarkand, I gasped.
"We called it "Sin".
"Sin?" I said puzzled. A monster appeared smashing into the side of a building. It spread its tentacles unleashing hundreds of small pods that ejected from it, landing on the ground. They turned into small bug creatures which surrounded me in a circle. I aimlessly tried to fight them off with my hands, but I eventually fell backwards.
"Take it." Said Auron as he handed the sword to me. I took it, as I held it high in the air, before nearly dropping it.
"A gift from Jecht."
"My old man?" I said.
Tidus moves forward, swinging the blade. The bug-creatures move backwards. Tidus loses his balance and falls backwards again.
"I hope you know how to use it." Said Auron. The battle begins. They cut some bugs but more drop.
"These ones don't matter. We cut through!" Shouted Auron. They kill some more. But more fall.
"Don't bother going after all of them. Cut the ones in the way, and run!" Said Auron as he sliced through a bug with his oversized sword. They manage to get through and they begin to run.
A loud noise occurs. Tidus looks at Auron, who begins to run to the noise. Tidus follows. They come face to face with the big tentacle monster, surrounded by a few of the bugs from before. A battle begins with what Auron called a Sin Spawn. They eventually defeat it. It blows up and the battle ends; Auron runs ahead, Tidus follows. They return to the area before where Tidus was looking at the billboard. He looks up at it again while running with Auron.
"Auron! Let's get out of here!"
"We're expected." Said Auron.
"Huh?" Said Tidus as Auron started to run.
"Gimme a break, man!" Tidus started to follow Auron when suddenly more small pods began to fall around them. They completely surround the both of them..
"Hmph. This could be bad." Said Auron. He glanced over to a piece of machinery
"That--knock it down!" He yelled.
"What?" Tidus seemed confused.
"Trust me. You'll see." Auron said confidently. They attacked the machine. The more they hit it, the more it crackled with energy. Eventually, it exploded. Falling off the bridge, creating a massive explosion. All the bugs are destroyed and the bridge itself begins to blow up]
"Go!" Shouted Auron.
They continue to run, avoiding the bridge which is blowing up. Tidus makes a huge leap and grabs onto the edge of a broken part of the road, which is diagonally facing upward. He hangs onto the ledge. Auron over, standing above Tidus' hands.
"Auron! Auron!" Tidus yelled. The ball of water - Sin - is now above them, and appears to be a large wormhole which is sucking things in. Auron looks up at it.
"You are sure?" said Auron to the giant creature.
He looked back at Tidus.
"This is it."
He picks him up by the collar of his shirt
"This is your story. It all begins here."
In a flash of blinding light Auron and I were both sucked into the giant wormhole.