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Egocentricity
I post this about....not you.
Its immediate. Most people are offended by the word ego. It matters not if 10 other letters are attached to it. One is miffed, put off and seeking solace from...whatever comes next. Egocentricity has nothing to do with PRIDE.
This is how it works.
He believes...you cannot see his whole body because he cannot see it.
She believes....you can see the TV because she can see it.
If someone is egocentric, this is the way they are sociably. I am sure everyone here has either dated someone like this, has someone in their family like this, or works with someone who has this characteristic. lol...
These are babies. Egocentricity dictates you are unable to see the world from anothers' perspective and cling heavily to your own. You are very, very careful to make sure you stand your ground on the premises that your opinion counts a great deal, all the while consciously inviting everyones opinion into your sphere. You need everyones opinion. Not to contrast your own to gain new understanding. You need everyones opinion because without them...you are not leading. And if you are not leading, the actions of the majority may not work in your favor.
The baby girl cannot comprehend why people are yelling at her to " Get out of the way." Not that we watch Teletubbies. But we do game... The little boy "owns" the perception of his audience. In his mind, you are under his complete control. And its all because he says, " can't see me." This characteristic decreases in a person with emotional development. However with most of us, it is rampant even today. Today it has moved from TV and peek-a-boo to
" I know it hurts others, but how does it effect me?" Whats really being said within is:
" I cannot remember feeling what you feel now, so I cannot see the need to help you."
" I will not comprehend you until I identify with you."
" I will not want friendship/relationship with you until I am in pain."
And finally, " I will not need you until I see simularities between what I am experiencing and what you have experienced. Then I will only need what you have learned." You hear the results or evidence of this everywhere.
" They only call me when they want something."
" She needed me to bitch at last night. Boyfriend is at it again."
" I have always been the rock of the family."
" I don't fall apart in crisis. I get through it with a clear head and then cry my eyes out when its over. So they call me."
Egocentricity also causes people to believe that regardless of numerous verbal intrusions, you will always be on call. Your personal plights go unnoticed because of their own focus on self and selfs circumstance. Its commonly mistaken for selfishness, but selfishness is malicious, a deliberate act to serve oneself. Someone who is egocentric cannot wrap their head around exactly why distance has ensued between you and themselves. After all, they only "needed" you for something. Egocentricity sees no need to balance its relationships because it stems from a train of thought that has yet to mature, or become aware of the people in its own world. Emotional development comes with trial and error. We cannot claim to learn something if we have not been in the general vicinity of the problem. People read and learn. But ALL elements of a given circumstance do not process in the mind and are not filed in the memory until the person walks through it. You can read about a widow, of one married for 50 years. But until you know how the tomato garden outside her kitchen window reminds her of the tie her husband was wearing in the casket, you cannot say you know the heaviness of having to go out and tend that garden everyday.
None of us can.
Its important to understand egocentricity. Because if we choose not to, then we render ourselves unable to recognize or nurture the emotionally stunted from the stand point of one who experienced ( which they require) and we certainly cannot further our own healthy relationships/friendships, and thus exercise empathy. Take sympathetic action? Yes.
Your boyfriend may think you can't see him at all because he is hiding....dammit! But then again, your girlfriend may truly believe you understand that all she wants to see is you, hands down.
I post this about....not you.
Its immediate. Most people are offended by the word ego. It matters not if 10 other letters are attached to it. One is miffed, put off and seeking solace from...whatever comes next. Egocentricity has nothing to do with PRIDE.
This is how it works.
He believes...you cannot see his whole body because he cannot see it.
She believes....you can see the TV because she can see it.
If someone is egocentric, this is the way they are sociably. I am sure everyone here has either dated someone like this, has someone in their family like this, or works with someone who has this characteristic. lol...
These are babies. Egocentricity dictates you are unable to see the world from anothers' perspective and cling heavily to your own. You are very, very careful to make sure you stand your ground on the premises that your opinion counts a great deal, all the while consciously inviting everyones opinion into your sphere. You need everyones opinion. Not to contrast your own to gain new understanding. You need everyones opinion because without them...you are not leading. And if you are not leading, the actions of the majority may not work in your favor.
The baby girl cannot comprehend why people are yelling at her to " Get out of the way." Not that we watch Teletubbies. But we do game... The little boy "owns" the perception of his audience. In his mind, you are under his complete control. And its all because he says, " can't see me." This characteristic decreases in a person with emotional development. However with most of us, it is rampant even today. Today it has moved from TV and peek-a-boo to
" I know it hurts others, but how does it effect me?" Whats really being said within is:
" I cannot remember feeling what you feel now, so I cannot see the need to help you."
" I will not comprehend you until I identify with you."
" I will not want friendship/relationship with you until I am in pain."
And finally, " I will not need you until I see simularities between what I am experiencing and what you have experienced. Then I will only need what you have learned." You hear the results or evidence of this everywhere.
" They only call me when they want something."
" She needed me to bitch at last night. Boyfriend is at it again."
" I have always been the rock of the family."
" I don't fall apart in crisis. I get through it with a clear head and then cry my eyes out when its over. So they call me."
Egocentricity also causes people to believe that regardless of numerous verbal intrusions, you will always be on call. Your personal plights go unnoticed because of their own focus on self and selfs circumstance. Its commonly mistaken for selfishness, but selfishness is malicious, a deliberate act to serve oneself. Someone who is egocentric cannot wrap their head around exactly why distance has ensued between you and themselves. After all, they only "needed" you for something. Egocentricity sees no need to balance its relationships because it stems from a train of thought that has yet to mature, or become aware of the people in its own world. Emotional development comes with trial and error. We cannot claim to learn something if we have not been in the general vicinity of the problem. People read and learn. But ALL elements of a given circumstance do not process in the mind and are not filed in the memory until the person walks through it. You can read about a widow, of one married for 50 years. But until you know how the tomato garden outside her kitchen window reminds her of the tie her husband was wearing in the casket, you cannot say you know the heaviness of having to go out and tend that garden everyday.
None of us can.
Its important to understand egocentricity. Because if we choose not to, then we render ourselves unable to recognize or nurture the emotionally stunted from the stand point of one who experienced ( which they require) and we certainly cannot further our own healthy relationships/friendships, and thus exercise empathy. Take sympathetic action? Yes.
Your boyfriend may think you can't see him at all because he is hiding....dammit! But then again, your girlfriend may truly believe you understand that all she wants to see is you, hands down.
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