Fan Fiction Comedy writing

Scarlet

*wobbles*
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My friend and I write these things called "rambles." They're basically like little scripts with the Final Fantasy characters, a few anime characters (mostly Naruto), and us. We got the idea from an old site that no longer exists (it was called Double R).

Just a disclaimer: this is just fan fiction. We changed some of the characters a bit for the purpose of humor. I'm sorry if we make fun of your favorite character! It's all in good fun!

Comments and such are always welcome! Here is some of it (it's too long to post all of it):

"The Trouble with Bees"

It is a wonderfully normal and quiet day in the ramble house until....

*An anguished scream comes from the kitchen*

Rufus: *Runs into the living room looking victimized and terrified*

Sephiroth: *Looks up from a magazine* "What the hell was that noise, Shinra?"

Rufus: "I was attacked!"

Sephiroth: "......By....who?"

Rufus: "A-a a terrifyingly huge black hornet!"

Sephiroth: *Stare* "Are you serious?"

Rufus: "It was huge! I don't know how it got in the house!"

Sephiroth: "Probably because everyone leaves windows and doors open."

Rufus: "They do?"

Sephiroth: *Looks over* "The front door is wide open."

Rufus: "Dammit!" *Goes over to the front door and closes it* "We can't just leave windows and doors open! That's how terrifying insects get in!"

Sephiroth: "Yeah. Like Kadaj." *Looks annoyed*

Rufus: "You have to go and kill it!"

Sephiroth: "What? Why me?"

Rufus: "You like killing things, don't you? Here's your big chance!"

Sephiroth: "............*Fine*. For the love of the planet, you are the biggest wuss I have ever met." *Stands up* "Where is it?"

Rufus: *Points* "It's in the kitchen."

Sephiroth: "Okay. Lemme show you how a *man* does things." *Marches off into the kitchen*

Reno: *Walks into the living room* "Hey, man, did I just hear you scream?"

Rufus: "*Yes*, Reno, you did. And you weren't there to protect me because you're useless. And don't call me 'man'! I'm your boss!"

Reno: "Yeah, but Rude said that Tifa was in a bathing suit in the backyard."

Rufus: "That's no excuse! You're supposed to be my bodyguard!"

Reno: "Yeah, but Rufus.....it's *Tifa*."

Rufus: "I don't care if it's Morgan Freeman, you have to be around to protect me!"

Reno: "....Dude, why would I want to see Morgan Freeman in a bathing suit?"

*There is a yelp from the kitchen*

Sephiroth: *Runs back into the living room* "RUFUS! YOU LIED!"

Rufus: "What?"

Sephiroth: "There were *two* of them!" *Leans over and breathes heavily* "I-I-I thought that...I thought that I had it cornered.....and then....all of a sudden.....the second one just sneaked up on me! It almost got me....!" *Shudders*

Reno: "Dude, what the hell is going on?"

Sephiroth: "T-there are two *huge* black hornets in the kitchen. And one nearly got into my *HAIR*."

Reno: ".....You're scared of bees?"

Sephiroth: "They weren't *bees*! They were HORNETS."

Reno: "Yeah but....dude....that's....pretty wussy."

Sephiroth: *Crosses his arms* "Okay, if you're such a man, why don't *you* go and take care of them."

Reno: "Okay, man. That's not a big deal." *Goes into the kitchen*

*Silence*

Rufus: *Looks at Sephiroth* "You know, you're pretty much the worst villain ever."

Sephiroth: "Excuse me?! I am not!"

Rufus: "You just got your ass kicked by two hornets."

Sephiroth: "Yeah but they were really *big*." *Pause* "And hey, it's not like you did any better! You got *your* ass kicked by *one* hornet."

Rufus: "Yeah, but I have money."

Sephiroth: "What?! So what?! That doesn't even mean anything!"

Rufus: "You're the worst villain ever."

Sephiroth: "I am not! I'm the *best* villain ever! Ask anyone!"

Seifer: *Walks into the living room* "Ughhh, can you two stop arguing so loud?! I have a *migrane*."

Rufus and Sephiroth: "Shut up!"

Sephiroth: *Points to Seifer* "*He's* the worst villain ever."

Seifer: "What?! I am not! Screw you! I'm amazing!"

Rufus: *Stares at Seifer* "He isn't even a *villain*."

Seifer: "What?! I am so!"

Rufus: "He's....just annoying."

Seifer: "I'm better than both of you!"

Rufus and Sephiroth: *Burst out laughing*

Reno: *Runs back into the living room* "Jesus Christ! You didn't tell me they were so freaking BIG!"

Sephiroth: "SEE?! I *told* you they were terrifying!"

Seifer: "Huh? What's big? What's going on?"

Reno: "There are two HUGE hornets in the kitchen, dude!"

Seifer: "Oh, pfffft. That's nothing. I can totally take care of them."

Sephiroth: "....Seifer, I will bet you ten dollars that you come back crying."

Seifer: "You're on!!" *Runs towards the kitchen*

Rufus: "Wow."

Sephiroth: "That was almost *too* easy."

Rufus: "I wonder if he'll actually give you the ten dollars."

Reno: "I wonder if he'll kill the hornets."

Rufus: *Looks at him* "Are you *high*? It's *Seifer*."

Irvine: *Runs into the room* "Dude, Reno, did you SEE Tifa out in the backyard?!"

Reno: "Yeah, man!"

Irvine: "Dude, she's SO HOT!"

Reno: "Yeah......I had to go because I heard Rufus scream."

Rufus: ".......I didn't *scream*. I shouted."

Reno: "Dude, you screamed like a little girl."

Rufus: "No, I didn't! I yelled! And stop calling me 'dude'!!"

Seifer: *Runs into the living room holding his hand as if it's been stung and in tears* "I hate you guys!" *Throws ten dollars at Sephiroth* "Screw all of you!" *Runs off sobbing*

Irvine: "Dude, what the hell was that all about?"

Sephiroth: *Picks up the ten dollars* "Ahhhh, nothing like easy money." *Smells it* "Doesn't it smell delicious? His tears make it even sweeter."

Reno: "There're a couple of hornets in the kitchen that no one can seem to get rid of. I think they're, like, superhuman or something, man."

Irvine: "Why did Seifer throw money at Sephiroth? Why don't I get money, man?"

Sephiroth: *Rubbing the money on his face* "Because you don't know how to exploit and manipulate the stupid and weak."

Rufus: *Watching Sephiroth* "Doesn't the texture of the bills just feel amazing on your skin?"

Sephiroth: *Moans* "God, does it ever."

Reno and Irvine: *Staring at them*

Kuja: *Walks into the room* "Ugh, have any of you seen my Chanel sunglasses? I can't find them anywhere!"

Sephiroth: "Your Chanel sunglasses?" *Stobs rubbing himself with money and pauses in thought* "Oh you know, now that you mention it....I do think that I saw them."

Kuja: "Oooh, you did? Tell me where!"

Sephiroth: "Well....." *Scratches jaw and looks reluctant*

Kuja: "Ohmygod, Sephiroth, TELL ME! SERIOUSLY! I need them!!"

Sephiroth: "Okay, okay, I thought that I saw them in the kitchen."

Kuja: "The kitchen?" *Walks off towards the kitchen*

*There is a terrified shriek*

Kuja: *Runs back into the room* "Sephiroth, you *asshole*! I hate you!" *Runs out of the living room*

Sephiroth: "Hahahahahaha, awesome."

Rufus: "Ugh, I don't know what we're gonna do about these hornets."

Reno: "Dude, Irvine, why don't you go try and kill them?"

Irvine: "No way, dude! I'm allergic to bee stings!"

Rufus: "So?"

Irvine: "So if I get stung, I die!"

Rufus: "....Yeah....and....?"

Irvine: "Dude! I don't want to die!"

Rufus: *Big sigh* "I guess *someone* isn't a team player. *Fine*. Do we know anyone who can kill these hornets?"

<a href="http://midnight-star.net/anime/ramble40.html" target="_blank">Click here for the rest of it!</a>

Thanks for reading! :)
 
I read the whole thing...that was...genius. Brilliant. I pissed myself laughing at that. I really like that.

really well done
 
Very, very funny. Sephiroth and Rufus were particularly hilarious. I loved how Rufus kept telling Sephiroth he was the worst villain ever. And the dialogue between Sephiroth and Yazoo was priceless.

My favorite line: "Kimahri want dance to hot beat of Madonna!"

I'd love to read more of these if you're willing to share. :D
 
Awesome! ;D Thanks for the comments guys, Erythritol and I appreciate it!
 
Well, if you guys are bored and ever want to read some of the other rambles....

http://www.midnight-star.net/anime/rambles.html

I recommend 'Who wants to be Turk?', it's rather long but it is a parody of multiple reality game shows.

I'm not sure what Erythritol recommends. XD

Thanks for the comments btw! ^_^
 
I was LMFAO at this comedy. I read the whole thing. Somebody oughta turn this into a cartoon. Sephiroth was so funny. Especially at the end when when he tells Tifa about the hornets in the kitchen. I think Zidane shoulda played a bigger role, though. He's cool.
 
I wanna put my two cents in. It was one of the best pieces of comedy writing i've ever read. I must say it was a bit random. Hornets?

The hornets idea came from an experience Erythritol had. XD

We usually get our ideas from real life experiences and the situation at the moment. Usually we think about ideas for the rambles when we hang out together.
 
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