For one of my assignments, I've been asked to write a script. So far I've only done my first draft, and I'd just like to know what people think needs changed and such, if you don't mind.
INT.TAVERN.NIGHT
There is a crowd around a table at the back of the bar. A low voice can be heard murmuring something, and there are gasps from people in the crowd. The wooden tables are lit by soft candle light.
Sitting at the table is MORT GALLOWS, with a tankard of beer. He looks battered and well-travelled, as if he hasn't slept for days.
EXT.TOWN.DAY
The townspeople are rushing around a small town, boarding up windows and securing buildings. There is a lot of activity around a tavern.
INT.TAVERN.DAY
There are two men boarding up the windows either side of the door. REVERAND PETERS walks in and up to the bar, where MAGDALENA is loading firearms. She looks up briefly, then returns to what she was doing.
Magdalena turns away from Reverand Peters to get a cloth. She begins to clean the rifle in her hands and ignores him.
Reverand Peters leaves.
EXT.TOWN.AFTERNOON
The main road is almost entirely deserted. A single person crosses from behind a building and enters the tavern. There is a MAN standing on the awning over the porch of the tavern. All the buildings along the road are sealed up, and look as though they haven't been resided in for at least a year.
A little group of people can be seen on the distance, hazed by the heat. Despite the distance, it can be seen that they are shuffling.
INT.TAVERN.AFTERNOON
The main room of the bar is quite dark, with a few shafts of light shining through the boards covering the windows. Some people are sitting around the tables drinking and playing cards. Others are just sitting and staring into the distance. No one is talking.
A voice is heard outside.
People look up from whatever they were doing, and then over to Mort who is sitting at the bar, and Magdalena who is behind it.
Mort and Magdalena look at each other. Mort nods, finishes his drink, and leaves the tavern.
EXT.TAVERN.AFTERNOON
Mort walks out of the tavern, and climbs the ladder that leads up onto the awning over the porch. He walks up to the man sitting there and rests his hand on the man's shoulder. The man looks at Mort, then leaves. Mort looks off into the distance, and sees the group of people in the distance.
EXT.DESERT.AFTERNOON
There is a group of around 20 people, all shuffling in the same direction like a heard of sheep. Each person is covered in blood, and some are missing limbs. In the distance, the town of Memory can be seen.
EXT.TAVERN.AFTERNOON
Mort climbs down from the awning, and takes the ladder down.
INT.TAVERN.AFTERNOON
Mort enters carrying the ladder. Two people take it from him and leave. The door of the tavern is bolted, and a wooden bar is dropped into place to seal it.
Mort looks at Madgalena, who is standing at a table. He walks back to the seat at the bar he was previously at and sits.
Magdalena comes round the other side of the bar, and puts a tankard of beer in front of Mort. She then reaches under the bar and takes out several rifles and other firearms and places them on the bar next to Mort.
Several young men stand up and walk to the bar. They queue in an orderly fashion, and take a weapon each before returning to their seats. Some of the men inspect their weapons as they carry them back to their seats.
EXT.DESERT.AFTERNOON
The same group of people is seen, a lot closer to Memory than before. As they have got closer, they are now moving quicker and are scrambling past each other. Some of the people grunt and snarl as this happens.
INT.TAVERN.AFTERNOON
The people in the tavern are a little more lively than previously. There is hushed talk between some of the people, and the occasional bit of laughter, though it is rather nervous.
EXT.TOWN.AFTERNOON
The group of people have reached Memory and individuals split off from the crowd and run towards, and around the buildings. They bang on the boards covering doors and windows, and then move on.
EXT.CHURCH.AFTERNOON
One of the people (a female) runs up to the church, which has not been boarded up like the other buildings. She bangs on the door and it swings open.
INT.CHURCH.AFTERNOON
Four people are kneeling in front of Reverand Peters, who is holding a bible. He is reading a passage when he is interrupted by a banging on the door.
The woman enters and looks at the people present. The people kneeling stand and turn to face her. It can be seen that the newcomer is covered in blood, and her eyes are very bloodshot.
One of the prayers screams, and the woman runs and attacks her, pinning her to the ground. The assailant bites the praying woman's neck, tearing a chunk from it.
The other three praying people pull the attacker from their friend. The woman writhes on the floor, with blood pouring from the wound.
EXT.CHURCH.AFTERNOON
Screams can be heard from withing - both male and female, along with crashes and scrapings. It is clear that inside the church, there is a struggle going on.
Reverand Peters leaves the church and collapses to the ground. He is missing an ear and is crying. The attacker follows him out of the church and begins to claw at his torso. Reverand Peters screams. Another person enters the churchyard and also begins to bite Reverand Peters.
INT.TAVERN.AFTERNOON
There is banging noises on the door and boarded up winows.
EXT.TAVERN.AFTERNOON
Four people are outside the tavern, banging and scratching the windows and door.
INT.TAVERN.AFTERNOON
The people inside have all moved further away from the door, and are looking at it as the boards shake under the blows from the people outside. One of the boards cracks, and falls away, and a hand pokes through. The hand withdraws and a male face appears in the gap. The man's chin has dried blood on it, and his teeth are crooked and also have dried blood on.
Magdalena aims a rifle at the man.
The man does not leave, but instead tries to fit through the gap in the boards. He begins to snarl. Another of the boards cracks and then breaks.
The man continues to try and enter, but cannot fit through the gap. Magdalena shoots him between the eyes. The man immediately stops and slumps in the gap between the boards.
Three people run forward, carrying more boards to cover the gap. They push the body of the man back out through the gap. When the gap is clear, two more hands poke through. The people carrying the boards retreat from the window. Another shot is fired and one of the hands retreats back through the gap.
EXT.TAVERN.AFTERNOON
More people have congregated outside the tavern.
INT.TAVERN.AFTERNOON
More of the boards covering the windows break and more people try and enter the tavern. As the people outside put their heads through the windows, the people inside shoot to kill. Several of the bullets hit and the targets are killed or wounded, but others miss. The door of the tavern begins to splinter.
The last of the boards covering one of the windows break, and people outside the tavern begin to enter. Some people scream.
The people in the tavern with guns begin to fire openly at the people flooding in through the windows. Most of the shots are unsuccesful and the attackers move towards the people of Memory. One of the attackers jumps on one of the young men with a gun and bites him.
The people insde the tavern scream, and most of the people run to hide under tables and behind the bar.
The boards covering the other window break off, allowing more people from outside to enter the tavern. More of the people from inside get attacked and killed by the assailants.
Magdalena, Mort and two others back into a corner and look around the tavern. Magdalena opens a door leading upstairs.
INT.UPSTAIRS.AFTERNOON
Magdalena, Mort, and two others (both male) run up the stairs. Magdalena strides to a window and opens it.
Mort walks to the window, and starts to climb out. He looks back and sees that neither of the other two men are following. He comes back through the window again.
Banging can be heard on the door that they just went through.
The door is broken down and the attackers begin to run upstairs. Several of them attack the two males at the top of the stairs. Magdalena climsb out of the window, and holds out her hand, gesturing for Mort to follow. Mort does not move, or even look at her.
Mort begins to shoot at the attackers. He runs out of ammo, and begins to back against a wall. He is cut off from the window and Magdalena by several people.
Magdalena looks from Mort, to the horizon and out of town and back to Mort again. She begins to cry. She sighs and climbs through the window again. After taking a step, someone jumps on her back and Magdalena is pulled to the ground.
INT.TAVERN.NIGHT
There is a crowd around a table at the back of the bar. A low voice can be heard murmuring something, and there are gasps from people in the crowd. The wooden tables are lit by soft candle light.
Sitting at the table is MORT GALLOWS, with a tankard of beer. He looks battered and well-travelled, as if he hasn't slept for days.
MORT
(grimly)
They will be here by tomorrow afternoon
(grimly)
They will be here by tomorrow afternoon
EXT.TOWN.DAY
The townspeople are rushing around a small town, boarding up windows and securing buildings. There is a lot of activity around a tavern.
INT.TAVERN.DAY
There are two men boarding up the windows either side of the door. REVERAND PETERS walks in and up to the bar, where MAGDALENA is loading firearms. She looks up briefly, then returns to what she was doing.
REVERAND PETERS
(angrily)
This fight is ridiculous, Magdalena. Do you really believe the words of Mort?
(angrily)
This fight is ridiculous, Magdalena. Do you really believe the words of Mort?
Magdalena turns away from Reverand Peters to get a cloth. She begins to clean the rifle in her hands and ignores him.
Reverand Peters leaves.
EXT.TOWN.AFTERNOON
The main road is almost entirely deserted. A single person crosses from behind a building and enters the tavern. There is a MAN standing on the awning over the porch of the tavern. All the buildings along the road are sealed up, and look as though they haven't been resided in for at least a year.
A little group of people can be seen on the distance, hazed by the heat. Despite the distance, it can be seen that they are shuffling.
INT.TAVERN.AFTERNOON
The main room of the bar is quite dark, with a few shafts of light shining through the boards covering the windows. Some people are sitting around the tables drinking and playing cards. Others are just sitting and staring into the distance. No one is talking.
A voice is heard outside.
MAN
Here they are!
Here they are!
People look up from whatever they were doing, and then over to Mort who is sitting at the bar, and Magdalena who is behind it.
Mort and Magdalena look at each other. Mort nods, finishes his drink, and leaves the tavern.
EXT.TAVERN.AFTERNOON
Mort walks out of the tavern, and climbs the ladder that leads up onto the awning over the porch. He walks up to the man sitting there and rests his hand on the man's shoulder. The man looks at Mort, then leaves. Mort looks off into the distance, and sees the group of people in the distance.
EXT.DESERT.AFTERNOON
There is a group of around 20 people, all shuffling in the same direction like a heard of sheep. Each person is covered in blood, and some are missing limbs. In the distance, the town of Memory can be seen.
EXT.TAVERN.AFTERNOON
Mort climbs down from the awning, and takes the ladder down.
INT.TAVERN.AFTERNOON
Mort enters carrying the ladder. Two people take it from him and leave. The door of the tavern is bolted, and a wooden bar is dropped into place to seal it.
Mort looks at Madgalena, who is standing at a table. He walks back to the seat at the bar he was previously at and sits.
Magdalena comes round the other side of the bar, and puts a tankard of beer in front of Mort. She then reaches under the bar and takes out several rifles and other firearms and places them on the bar next to Mort.
MAGDALENA
All sharpshooters, come get yer weapons please. One each
All sharpshooters, come get yer weapons please. One each
Several young men stand up and walk to the bar. They queue in an orderly fashion, and take a weapon each before returning to their seats. Some of the men inspect their weapons as they carry them back to their seats.
EXT.DESERT.AFTERNOON
The same group of people is seen, a lot closer to Memory than before. As they have got closer, they are now moving quicker and are scrambling past each other. Some of the people grunt and snarl as this happens.
INT.TAVERN.AFTERNOON
The people in the tavern are a little more lively than previously. There is hushed talk between some of the people, and the occasional bit of laughter, though it is rather nervous.
EXT.TOWN.AFTERNOON
The group of people have reached Memory and individuals split off from the crowd and run towards, and around the buildings. They bang on the boards covering doors and windows, and then move on.
EXT.CHURCH.AFTERNOON
One of the people (a female) runs up to the church, which has not been boarded up like the other buildings. She bangs on the door and it swings open.
INT.CHURCH.AFTERNOON
Four people are kneeling in front of Reverand Peters, who is holding a bible. He is reading a passage when he is interrupted by a banging on the door.
REVERAND PETERS
Enter, child
Enter, child
The woman enters and looks at the people present. The people kneeling stand and turn to face her. It can be seen that the newcomer is covered in blood, and her eyes are very bloodshot.
One of the prayers screams, and the woman runs and attacks her, pinning her to the ground. The assailant bites the praying woman's neck, tearing a chunk from it.
The other three praying people pull the attacker from their friend. The woman writhes on the floor, with blood pouring from the wound.
EXT.CHURCH.AFTERNOON
Screams can be heard from withing - both male and female, along with crashes and scrapings. It is clear that inside the church, there is a struggle going on.
Reverand Peters leaves the church and collapses to the ground. He is missing an ear and is crying. The attacker follows him out of the church and begins to claw at his torso. Reverand Peters screams. Another person enters the churchyard and also begins to bite Reverand Peters.
INT.TAVERN.AFTERNOON
There is banging noises on the door and boarded up winows.
EXT.TAVERN.AFTERNOON
Four people are outside the tavern, banging and scratching the windows and door.
INT.TAVERN.AFTERNOON
The people inside have all moved further away from the door, and are looking at it as the boards shake under the blows from the people outside. One of the boards cracks, and falls away, and a hand pokes through. The hand withdraws and a male face appears in the gap. The man's chin has dried blood on it, and his teeth are crooked and also have dried blood on.
Magdalena aims a rifle at the man.
MAGDALENA
(shouting)
We don't want you here, now leave!
(shouting)
We don't want you here, now leave!
The man does not leave, but instead tries to fit through the gap in the boards. He begins to snarl. Another of the boards cracks and then breaks.
MAGDALENA
Don't make me shoot you
Don't make me shoot you
The man continues to try and enter, but cannot fit through the gap. Magdalena shoots him between the eyes. The man immediately stops and slumps in the gap between the boards.
MAGDALENA
Cover that gap up, quick
Cover that gap up, quick
Three people run forward, carrying more boards to cover the gap. They push the body of the man back out through the gap. When the gap is clear, two more hands poke through. The people carrying the boards retreat from the window. Another shot is fired and one of the hands retreats back through the gap.
EXT.TAVERN.AFTERNOON
More people have congregated outside the tavern.
INT.TAVERN.AFTERNOON
More of the boards covering the windows break and more people try and enter the tavern. As the people outside put their heads through the windows, the people inside shoot to kill. Several of the bullets hit and the targets are killed or wounded, but others miss. The door of the tavern begins to splinter.
The last of the boards covering one of the windows break, and people outside the tavern begin to enter. Some people scream.
MAGDALENA
(shouting)
Fire at will!
(shouting)
Fire at will!
The people in the tavern with guns begin to fire openly at the people flooding in through the windows. Most of the shots are unsuccesful and the attackers move towards the people of Memory. One of the attackers jumps on one of the young men with a gun and bites him.
The people insde the tavern scream, and most of the people run to hide under tables and behind the bar.
The boards covering the other window break off, allowing more people from outside to enter the tavern. More of the people from inside get attacked and killed by the assailants.
Magdalena, Mort and two others back into a corner and look around the tavern. Magdalena opens a door leading upstairs.
MAGDALENA
(loudly)
In here
(loudly)
In here
INT.UPSTAIRS.AFTERNOON
Magdalena, Mort, and two others (both male) run up the stairs. Magdalena strides to a window and opens it.
MAGDALENA
Quick, out the window
Quick, out the window
Mort walks to the window, and starts to climb out. He looks back and sees that neither of the other two men are following. He comes back through the window again.
MORT
Come on, we need to leave.
Come on, we need to leave.
Banging can be heard on the door that they just went through.
MALE 1
We'll stay here and make sure you aren't followed. Go
MAGDALENA
You need to come with us, you'll be killed!
We'll stay here and make sure you aren't followed. Go
MAGDALENA
You need to come with us, you'll be killed!
The door is broken down and the attackers begin to run upstairs. Several of them attack the two males at the top of the stairs. Magdalena climsb out of the window, and holds out her hand, gesturing for Mort to follow. Mort does not move, or even look at her.
MAGDALENA
(shouting)
Mort!
(shouting)
Mort!
Mort begins to shoot at the attackers. He runs out of ammo, and begins to back against a wall. He is cut off from the window and Magdalena by several people.
Magdalena looks from Mort, to the horizon and out of town and back to Mort again. She begins to cry. She sighs and climbs through the window again. After taking a step, someone jumps on her back and Magdalena is pulled to the ground.