Zieg Stolenhart

Captain Jack

~Artisan~
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Joined
Oct 13, 2008
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520
Location
Asleep in a Coffin... in Nibelhiem
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Name – Zieg Stolenhart/Zieg The Lone One

Age - Unknown

Race - Human

Gender -Male

Appearance - A tall and frail looking man, A scar along his right cheek, Long platinum blond hair that goes down to his shoulders. There is always a harsh look in his eyes.

Attire - Zieg wears long tattered black cloak over his silver and gold armor which always glimmers with an eerie light.

Personality –
Shrouded in mystery, Zieg stays to himself, Although powerful, his power came at a great cost to himself and his family. So he hides away from those who he loves dearest for fear that his power will rain down chaos upon them again.

Equipment - The Seal of Breaking: A cursed parasitic amulet that Zieg wears around his neck. Said to be the cause of his pain and suffering, and also the from what he draws his power. Unable to remove it, Zieg instead uses the power it grants him to protect the world he once loved from evil.

Weaponry - Stolenheart- a magical double edged broadsword that Zieg has wielded for years. Zieg can summon it out of midair. and his skills with it, are those of legend. A sword that has been pasted down for generations.

Armour - Lightweight Scale armor


Fighting Style - Because he cannot rely on the magical power the amulet grants him, Zieg has become a Jack-of-all-Trades when it comes to hand-to-hand combat. He uses anything and everything in battle.

Abilities - Telekinesis : the ability to move objects with his mind. Rarely uses this ability because overuse of this ability is said to cause blindness.

Magic - Upon putting The Seal of Breaking around his neck, vast amounts of magical energy was released from the Amulet. So Zieg is blessed with incredible magical ability's. Almost all of which he cannot control, The amulet uses magic as it deems fit.


Element Discharge- Random Elemental attack, Is unleashed when the amulet feels anger.


Mimic Magic- The amulet mimics the opponents magic. Amplifying or decreasing the actual power of the spell.

Mighty Guard- The Amulet casts shielding and healing spells on a random target. Cuts magical/physical damage 1/2

Heal the Host- The amulet heals Zieg a random amount it varys from 10% to 90%

Not Done Yet- Re-Birth/Arise. If Zieg dies and the amulets power has not been unleashed. It drags Zieg back from the afterlife. Cursing him with almost eternal life, as Zieg continues to age.

Broken Seal- One of the few magicks Zieg is in control of. Available Only when the amulet power is nearly exausted Unleashes all of the power held within the amulet. Causing unimaginable death and destruction. Used as a final last resort. Kills Zieg in the process, freeing him of his curse.

History – Not much is known about zieg's history. All that is known is that upon putting The Seal of Breaking around his neck, vast amounts of magical energy was released from the Amulet. As Zieg's body absorbed the energy, he watched as his home was destroyed and him family was murdered by the magics of the amulet. Now Blessed with almost limitless power, he walks the earth searching for an enemy strong enough to challenge the power of the amulet, So that he may use the final spell- The Broken Seal and finally be free to die in peace.
 
Zieg The Lone One said:


Appearance - A tall and frail looking man, A scar along his right cheek, Long platinum blond hair that goes down to his shoulders. There is always a harsh look in his eyes.

Attire - Zieg wears long tattered black cloak over his silver and gold armor which always glimmers with an eerie light.


My first criticism is that these are rather lacking in detail. You need to make the appearance of your character a lot more detailed, for example, put in the colour of his eyes, height, weight etc.

I also find the detail of the attire extremely lacking, try and put in some more detail on the attire, try putting in the material of the attire and how much it weighs, how much it would slow you down in a battle etc.

Zieg The Lone One said:

Armour - Lightweight Scale armor



This is rather lacking also, you need to put in for example: How much it weighs, how powerful would an attack be to break it and also a lot of people put a history of how they attained their armour and weapons

Zieg The Lone One said:

Magic - Upon putting The Seal of Breaking around his neck, vast amounts of magical energy was released from the Amulet. So Zieg is blessed with incredible magical ability's. Almost all of which he cannot control, The amulet uses magic as it deems fit.

Zieg The Lone One said:
Element Discharge- Random Elemental attack, Is unleashed when the amulet feels anger.

Mimic Magic- The amulet mimics the opponents magic. Amplifying or decreasing the actual power of the spell.

Mighty Guard- The Amulet casts shielding and healing spells on a random target. Cuts magical/physical damage 1/2

Heal the Host- The amulet heals Zieg a random amount it varys from 10% to 90%

Not Done Yet- Re-Birth/Arise. If Zieg dies and the amulets power has not been unleashed. It drags Zieg back from the afterlife. Cursing him with almost eternal life, as Zieg continues to age.

Broken Seal- One of the few magicks Zieg is in control of. Available Only when the amulet power is nearly exausted Unleashes all of the power held within the amulet. Causing unimaginable death and destruction. Used as a final last resort. Kills Zieg in the process, freeing him of his curse.

I absolutely love the creativity of this section, however I have found a problem with it. You need to put in how much energy it would take out of you to cast a certain spell. Do that for these spells and this section is a-okay.

Zieg The Lone One said:
History – Not much is known about zieg's history. All that is known is that upon putting The Seal of Breaking around his neck, vast amounts of magical energy was released from the Amulet. As Zieg's body absorbed the energy, he watched as his home was destroyed and him family was murdered by the magics of the amulet. Now Blessed with almost limitless power, he walks the earth searching for an enemy strong enough to challenge the power of the amulet, So that he may use the final spell- The Broken Seal and finally be free to die in peace.

The only problem with this section is that it needs to be longer and more detailed. Try putting in a small story talking about how you got The Seal Of Breaking and it should be okay :)

Fix all these and it'll be approved but until then:

[UNAPPROVED]
 
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