This confused me..

- After the events of FFVII the people of Midgar are living in a town called Edge. One that they built. There was a widespread disease known only as "geostigma" its origin is unknown.

-Cloud's living as a delivery boy with Tifa and is infected with geostigma.

-While cloud was on an errand he was attacked by what appeared to be a visual kei band but they claim that Jenova is their mother and they believe Cloud has her for some reason.

-After the attack, Kadaj, the leader of the three silverheads goes "Woops, sorry boys he doesn't have our mummy" so they withdraw. And cloud proceeds with the delivery.

-Before the silverheads attacked, Cloud received a message from Rufus to meet. so when they met, Rufus explains that the silverheads want Jenova back and Cloud should stop them. Cloud refuses and leaves. Soon after, Kadaj arrives and threatens that he will harm two of his Turks personnel if he does not hand over Jenova (as he holds them hostage)

-During this scene of course, Kadaj explains that they're going to have their own 'reunion' and plot an attack on the planet.

-So the silverheads began collecting children with geostigma and are able to control them for some reason, by having the children drink black water. Cloud tries to save the day but he couldn't do jack so Vincent saved his sorry ass and tells him that if the silverheads get their hands on Jenova Sephiroth can return. And he knows this fact just because.

- Meanwhile in Edge, the silverheads summon big nasties and Bahamut to rec havoc in Edge. Don't know why they just get off on that. So you see the entire cast from the first game reunite to take down Bahamut. Why they never bothered to keep hold of their old materia and cast ultima on it instead of flipping physics the bird is beyond me but anywho. While all of this is happening Rufus turns to Kadaj and reveals that he was holding Jenova's head under his cloak all along AND THE DUMBASSES NEVER BOTHERED TO SEARCH HIM.

-Kadaj manages to get ahold of it but not without Rufus damaging it slightly with one bulllet. Cloud takes pursuit of Kadaj who ruins Aerith's precious flowers in the church which causes the ghost of Aerith to pour a nice pond of anti-geostigma. Why she'd never done this before is also beyond me. Maybe she was waiting for someone to step on her flowers -__-

- Kadaj tries to duel off Cloud but fails so he uses the moonstone aka Jenova's head to evolve himself into Sephiroth complete with his original clothing and masamune.

-Sephiroth explains that those who die of geostigma return to the lifestream and Sephiroth can then control the lifestream as a vessel to "sail the cosmos" to search for another planet for him to dominate.

-They battle it out till cloud eventually wins with his new super cloud omni shot MK. V or some shit and Sepiroth parts with his famous line "I will never become a memory" *sprouts a single wing* "That's new :kinky:" *vanishes* And Kadaj returns to his exhausted former self. Who is taken to the lifestream by Aerith.

-Cloud gets shot in the back by the other silverheads. Cloud takes a swing at them and a bright flash takes them all to a blank white. Aerith explains the world of white background that she's perfectly happy doing the nasty with Zack in limbo so she'll call him up when they feel "adventurous" (It's not his time yet). So Cloud is sent back to edge with all his friends. Everyone gets cured by Aerith's magic anti-geostigma rain and Cloud looks around and goes "D'hurr I'm not alone :3"

The End

Am I the only one that thinks Advent Children is retarded?
 
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