I was just having a bit of a discussion with Kelly on Msn and ended up speaking about one of my deepest and darkest secrets that very few people that know me know of.
I dont know why but after getting it off my chest, I feel a bit more compelled to tell more of you about it, so I guess that why I made this thread.
As some the older members know, I used to be a Full contact Kickboxer from a young age up till the age of 21 at which point I just suddenly gave it up, and many people including my parents have often wondered why, I was afterall pretty good at what I did, representing Great Britain in the Championships In Vienna and even taking a WKA British title in my weight category...
The usual reason I give people is because of injury, a kidney injury I sustained during a match, but continued despite the pain I was in....but that is only part of the truth of why I decided to give up kickboxing as a competitive sport...
The main and actual reason was during a championship defence in Preston, against a fellow member of the same club who had recently moved from semi-contact points into full contact continuous, I was briefed by my instructor to take it easy, and he the same...however his friends were goading him so he didnt listen to the words of the instructor and came in hard....
By this point in time of kickboxing I was also suffering from a common thing all martial artists gain after participating in tournaments for a long degree of time, and unhealthy addiction to the adrenaline you get from having pain inflicted on you, this adrenaline rush would put me on a high and I would become extremely aggressive and unrational, and would basically be out to "hurt" someone as much as I could, not caring for the consequences...
Anyway, he had kept hitting me low during the fight to the eventual point where I just stuck out my jaw and said "Come on then wanna be the big man in front of your mates knock me out"....he threw quite a big right hander, which triggered an adrenaline rush in me and I just unloaded on him, even swinging for the referee as he tried to break the onslaught in the corner...
Eventually on the third round I had so much adrenaline pumping through me, I even started snapping at my corner man saying "I'm gonna knock him the fuck out for that cocky fuck hes going fucking down!", my corner man knew there was no reasoning with me at this point and just said..."Go for it", hoping that exhaustion would take hold and I wouldnt have enough left in me to knock him out.
Again he came in low, and I uppercutted him and followed up with a full blown round house kick to the side of his head (a muai thai style hip twist round house that puts your entire bodyweight behind the kick) the kick connected and he was out cold....and slid down my leg, completely out of it.
I moved my leg and he dropped to the canvas without putting his hands out to stop himself, he was out for what felt like forever....even with adrenaline still in my system, I had realised what I'd done and felt sick to my stomach...they tried smelling salts, water, everything....but he still wasnt coming round.....It was at this point it time I began to panic....I honestly believed I had killed him....
Eventually though he did come round and after lots of appologising from me, he was takin to hospital to be treated for heavy concusion...but I will never forget that day, and I will never forgive myself for it, I still have nightmares about the knockout....but rather than him waking up....he doesnt and all I see is a blood covered face....its almost surreal..
So to those of you that think "oh yea it would be cool to kill someone with your bare hands"....let my experience be a lesson....
It is not cool, its the most horrible feeling I've ever experienced....and it will probably haunt me for the rest of my life...
Thanks for reading if you decided to read all that, and I hope it gives you a bit of insight into why I am...like I am.
I dont know why but after getting it off my chest, I feel a bit more compelled to tell more of you about it, so I guess that why I made this thread.
As some the older members know, I used to be a Full contact Kickboxer from a young age up till the age of 21 at which point I just suddenly gave it up, and many people including my parents have often wondered why, I was afterall pretty good at what I did, representing Great Britain in the Championships In Vienna and even taking a WKA British title in my weight category...
The usual reason I give people is because of injury, a kidney injury I sustained during a match, but continued despite the pain I was in....but that is only part of the truth of why I decided to give up kickboxing as a competitive sport...
The main and actual reason was during a championship defence in Preston, against a fellow member of the same club who had recently moved from semi-contact points into full contact continuous, I was briefed by my instructor to take it easy, and he the same...however his friends were goading him so he didnt listen to the words of the instructor and came in hard....
By this point in time of kickboxing I was also suffering from a common thing all martial artists gain after participating in tournaments for a long degree of time, and unhealthy addiction to the adrenaline you get from having pain inflicted on you, this adrenaline rush would put me on a high and I would become extremely aggressive and unrational, and would basically be out to "hurt" someone as much as I could, not caring for the consequences...
Anyway, he had kept hitting me low during the fight to the eventual point where I just stuck out my jaw and said "Come on then wanna be the big man in front of your mates knock me out"....he threw quite a big right hander, which triggered an adrenaline rush in me and I just unloaded on him, even swinging for the referee as he tried to break the onslaught in the corner...
Eventually on the third round I had so much adrenaline pumping through me, I even started snapping at my corner man saying "I'm gonna knock him the fuck out for that cocky fuck hes going fucking down!", my corner man knew there was no reasoning with me at this point and just said..."Go for it", hoping that exhaustion would take hold and I wouldnt have enough left in me to knock him out.
Again he came in low, and I uppercutted him and followed up with a full blown round house kick to the side of his head (a muai thai style hip twist round house that puts your entire bodyweight behind the kick) the kick connected and he was out cold....and slid down my leg, completely out of it.
I moved my leg and he dropped to the canvas without putting his hands out to stop himself, he was out for what felt like forever....even with adrenaline still in my system, I had realised what I'd done and felt sick to my stomach...they tried smelling salts, water, everything....but he still wasnt coming round.....It was at this point it time I began to panic....I honestly believed I had killed him....
Eventually though he did come round and after lots of appologising from me, he was takin to hospital to be treated for heavy concusion...but I will never forget that day, and I will never forgive myself for it, I still have nightmares about the knockout....but rather than him waking up....he doesnt and all I see is a blood covered face....its almost surreal..
So to those of you that think "oh yea it would be cool to kill someone with your bare hands"....let my experience be a lesson....
It is not cool, its the most horrible feeling I've ever experienced....and it will probably haunt me for the rest of my life...
Thanks for reading if you decided to read all that, and I hope it gives you a bit of insight into why I am...like I am.
i hope you can get that out of your head one day i know how moments like that can shake your whole life up lol.. had a few major anger issues when i was like 14-15.. i was a kick boxer too but i was told to leave my gym because i had come down to the final of my towns championship, and my opponent was 1)one of my best friend 2) female and 3) had injuries, so i refused to fight her.. and so my gym lost to there rivals,, but fuck it lol..more to gain in honour than victory
