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Does anyone ever get the feeling to just, fuck it? Just go out and wanna cause some chaos? Not to be evil or something. Just do it, because most people don't. Idk, I'm weird. I like to think of things that would be like hooopla. Maybe if i found something worth.....fightng for, I'd be able to...

Been awhile. Let's get to it. Still no job. Though i do have an opportunity to get a job that involves traveling and door to door selling. Hope it goes well. Still single. Disregard females, acquire happiness. Was depressed for a little bit about a week ago. But since this job option came up...

So it's been a good 2 months or so since I've made a post here at all. So i figured time for an update. If it's in the wrong section, feel free to move it. Still no job, but I've come to realize it takes time, and am doing the best i can currently. Still in college, for now anyway. I've come...

I listen to these lyrics Settling now Shit most don't even know It's about the battles man Faced with every day fears Mixed with some drug addicted years Toss in a lill Delerium Don't give a fuck for the sodium Sittin in a spinnin room Climbin to reach a fuckin broom Give me some brew Let me...

Don't play by the rules The taste of black and blue We've got some things to do Never stuck like glue You got the best of me Took the rest of me Come have some tea I'll remember thee Just a side of the tide Walking down the darker side of town Looking back, was smashed in like a thumb-tac...

So as of this present time in space, i just don't care anymore. Situation is like, fucked, or maybe it's just me. Therapist works, but only a a month or so, at least until next session. It seems like the world's at large, and i was left alone, to delocate myself from within. Well it seems to be...

It's like a wierd description that doesn't fit Standing around just looking for a place to sit Here we go I said no Flipped inside upon reverbant complexes Crawling within the sounds Encompassing Devouring Reactions becoming light speed Awareness hyper active Perception is beyond that of...

Keep on track No more of this Topsy Tervy wandering When does road straighten out? When does life begin? I know where I've been I have no clue where I'm headed I'd do it all over again Where to go.... I fall in between 50/50 100% Absolute I have a little I don't need alot Look in peoples eyes...

Drifting afloat surrounded by liars Slipping effortlessly into a slumber unwakeable Selecting a process known as forsaken Wandering aimlessly Exploarationism engaged Time to process the days feats And know such flaws upon thine Dis-engage Start up anew forge Kick start the engine...

So the first appointment with the therapist went well. We didn't talk a whole lot about my problems, but rather got to know each other, clear that awkward stuff out of the way. Told her about the gender identity stuff. She's not as experienced with the subject as one of the other therapist is...

Not fitting in anywhere. Yet again searching. A play of the tongue and they go haywire. It seems i may never find a place where i really can feel myself. If i can ever find out what myself is. Mentally deteriorating, fast. The urge to just run out and bludgeon the first person I see is growing...

So for the past few years i'v fiddled with the idea of a sex change. Only recently have i actually began researching the topic and what is required to get a sex change. Everything is looking fine and dandy so far except one thing. I don't wish to be male or female. I wish to be both at the same...

Any fans of Dubstep? Point blank. For those who are not aware, Dubstep is eletronica dance, with wobbly bass, reverbant drums and sample. Examples. Boson - Bag o Wire http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgcB_dAbkVc Bassnectar - Basshead http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRftXCiqfQ8 The...

Ok im kinda out of it soo ill just put this here. This is a ariety of music assimilated in current state. I'm puuting this here in case anyone gets confused about what it is like i did for 20 minutes. Disapate mentalstate Glorified passes of time Transperet in the word Barnes set to torch...

What makes a man? Is it his drug of choice? His willingness to stand for what he believes in? His slaying of another former human? Or just simply being? What makes a human? Their emotions? Is it what lies within the veyr fabric of their mental workings? Or perhapes the ability to lend a...

I see people all around me who either have a life or have a special someone. I however do not. I'd like to atleast have a job so i could go out an buy things, go see movies and ect. My brother is almost never home, either working or hanging out with friends. The only friends i do have, work and...

Meandering bystanders pass idlely Not noticng such travesties Even I am at some fault We all are Calamety asunder Will we ever truely see What our paths have forged Perhapes Forever behold the fate we seek Once in a life time The dynamics of life Pause and remaine silent But...

Lights here, there, everywhere All around me they shine Like walking with mines Surrounded Their flourecent glow trances the eye Wandering kids look and stare in awe Parents nag them to keep moving Futile They run the streets looking for fun Tearing down the lights Taking them home...

I look upon what they all have Jobs Cars Money Freedom Trapped in this box for so long When shall my time come Why must i be the black sheep held back from such ventures? What have i done wrong in this life to deserve such a thing? In all my travels i have met many people None of which come as...

The time has come Along this fronteir I will not wall victim Never again Time to wipe out all who wish to oppose me One by One The fall before my blade Greased with blood from the slain The run as if to behead a giant beast None more giant then I They yet realize they have no command...