Does anyone ever get the feeling to just, fuck it? Just go out and wanna cause some chaos? Not to be evil or something. Just do it, because most people don't.
Idk, I'm weird. I like to think of things that would be like hooopla.
Maybe if i found something worth.....fightng for, I'd be able to...
Been awhile. Let's get to it.
Still no job. Though i do have an opportunity to get a job that involves traveling and door to door selling. Hope it goes well.
Still single. Disregard females, acquire happiness.
Was depressed for a little bit about a week ago. But since this job option came up...
So it's been a good 2 months or so since I've made a post here at all. So i figured time for an update. If it's in the wrong section, feel free to move it.
Still no job, but I've come to realize it takes time, and am doing the best i can currently.
Still in college, for now anyway. I've come...
I listen to these lyrics
Settling now
Shit most don't even know
It's about the battles man
Faced with every day fears
Mixed with some drug addicted years
Toss in a lill Delerium
Don't give a fuck for the sodium
Sittin in a spinnin room
Climbin to reach a fuckin broom
Give me some brew
Let me...
Don't play by the rules
The taste of black and blue
We've got some things to do
Never stuck like glue
You got the best of me
Took the rest of me
Come have some tea
I'll remember thee
Just a side of the tide
Walking down the darker side of town
Looking back, was smashed in like a thumb-tac...
So as of this present time in space, i just don't care anymore. Situation is like, fucked, or maybe it's just me. Therapist works, but only a a month or so, at least until next session. It seems like the world's at large, and i was left alone, to delocate myself from within. Well it seems to be...
It's like a wierd description that doesn't fit
Standing around just looking for a place to sit
Here we go
I said no
Flipped inside upon reverbant complexes
Crawling within the sounds
Encompassing
Devouring
Reactions becoming light speed
Awareness hyper active
Perception is beyond that of...
Keep on track
No more of this Topsy Tervy wandering
When does road straighten out?
When does life begin?
I know where I've been
I have no clue where I'm headed
I'd do it all over again
Where to go....
I fall in between
50/50
100%
Absolute
I have a little
I don't need alot
Look in peoples eyes...
Drifting afloat surrounded by liars
Slipping effortlessly into a slumber unwakeable
Selecting a process known as forsaken
Wandering aimlessly
Exploarationism engaged
Time to process the days feats
And know such flaws upon thine
Dis-engage
Start up anew forge
Kick start the engine...
So the first appointment with the therapist went well. We didn't talk a whole lot about my problems, but rather got to know each other, clear that awkward stuff out of the way. Told her about the gender identity stuff. She's not as experienced with the subject as one of the other therapist is...
Not fitting in anywhere. Yet again searching. A play of the tongue and they go haywire. It seems i may never find a place where i really can feel myself. If i can ever find out what myself is.
Mentally deteriorating, fast. The urge to just run out and bludgeon the first person I see is growing...
So for the past few years i'v fiddled with the idea of a sex change. Only recently have i actually began researching the topic and what is required to get a sex change. Everything is looking fine and dandy so far except one thing. I don't wish to be male or female. I wish to be both at the same...
Any fans of Dubstep? Point blank.
For those who are not aware, Dubstep is eletronica dance, with wobbly bass, reverbant drums and sample.
Examples.
Boson - Bag o Wire
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgcB_dAbkVc
Bassnectar - Basshead
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRftXCiqfQ8
The...
Ok im kinda out of it soo ill just put this here.
This is a ariety of music assimilated in current state. I'm puuting this here in case anyone gets confused about what it is like i did for 20 minutes.
Disapate mentalstate
Glorified passes of time
Transperet in the word
Barnes set to torch...
What makes a man? Is it his drug of choice?
His willingness to stand for what he believes in?
His slaying of another former human?
Or just simply being?
What makes a human?
Their emotions?
Is it what lies within the veyr fabric of their mental workings?
Or perhapes the ability to lend a...
I see people all around me who either have a life or have a special someone. I however do not. I'd like to atleast have a job so i could go out an buy things, go see movies and ect. My brother is almost never home, either working or hanging out with friends. The only friends i do have, work and...
Meandering bystanders pass idlely
Not noticng such travesties
Even I am at some fault
We all are
Calamety asunder
Will we ever truely see
What our paths have forged
Perhapes
Forever behold the fate we seek
Once in a life time
The dynamics of life
Pause and remaine silent
But...
Lights here, there, everywhere
All around me they shine
Like walking with mines
Surrounded
Their flourecent glow trances the eye
Wandering kids look and stare in awe
Parents nag them to keep moving
Futile
They run the streets looking for fun
Tearing down the lights
Taking them home...
I look upon what they all have
Jobs
Cars
Money
Freedom
Trapped in this box for so long
When shall my time come
Why must i be the black sheep held back from such ventures?
What have i done wrong in this life to deserve such a thing?
In all my travels i have met many people
None of which come as...
The time has come
Along this fronteir
I will not wall victim
Never again
Time to wipe out all who wish to oppose me
One by One
The fall before my blade
Greased with blood from the slain
The run as if to behead a giant beast
None more giant then I
They yet realize they have no command...
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