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i had a girlfirend i loved her alot. some one told her that i kissed a girl. she was comming to tell me ... i was just talking to other girl and when my GF came she kissed me. then my GF broke with me what do i do :cry:

4th of July Jokes What happened as a result of the Stamp Act? The Americans licked the British! What happened as a result of the Stamp Act? The Americans licked the British Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington? Because the horse was too heavy to carry! What would you...

Great pig A salesman is talking to a farmer. Suddenly, this energetic pig rushes out of the barn, squealing happily and snuggling against the farmer. The pig has a wooden leg. Curiosity finally gets to the salesman. He grins and asks: “Why does this pig have a wooden leg?” The farmer glares at...

Teacher was reading the story One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the...

I can not do it anymore One misty Scottish morning a man was driving through the hills to Inverness. Suddenly out of the mist, a massive red-haired highlander stepped into the middle of the road. The man is at least six feet four and has the appearance of a walking wardrobe. He has a huge red...

What was Jesus' mother's name? A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's name?" One child answered, "Mary." The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?" A little kid said, "Verge." Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?" The kid...

Try doing it with A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Dodge SRT-4 when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in the shop. The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his car when the mechanic shouted across the garage “Hey Doc, want...

You get too violent A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill." So, the bartender does just that and hands the man a bill for $57.00. The drunk says, "I haven't got it." The bartender slaps the...

To go fly a kite A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite. He throws the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few seconds, then it comes crashing back down to earth. He tries this a few more times with no success. All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window...

Men’s English “I’m hungry” = I’m hungry. “I’m sleepy” = I’m sleepy. “I’m tired” = I’m tired. “Do you want to go to a movie?” = I’d eventually like to have sex with you. “Can I take you out to dinner?” = I’d eventually like to have sex with you. “Can I call you sometime?” = I’d eventually...

Category: Blonde A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. “How did this happen?” the emergency room doctor asked her. “Well, I was trying to commit suicide,” the blonde replied. “What?” sputtered the doctor. “You tried to commit...

chuck norris fact 6 Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always...

Retirement bonus The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what...

Gorilla Remover A man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Gorilla Removers". He calls the number, and the gorilla remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes. The gorilla remover arrives, and gets out of his van...

What is politics? Son: Dad, I have a special report for school. Can I ask you a question? Dad: Sure son, what's the question? Son: What is politics? Dad: Well son, let's take our home for example. I am the wage earner, so let's call me the management. Your mother is the administrator of the...

Vaseline - Short Funny Story p>John really wanted to buy a motorcycle. He had been searching nearly every day, with no luck (he’s quite picky). One day he comes across a mint looking Harley with a ‘For Sale’ sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one even though it’s 10 years old...

Save them up and send them back At the end of the tax year, the IRS sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said, "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?" "Good question", noted the...

Get hair on your twinkie A little girl went to the barber with her dad and was standing by the barber's chair eating a Twinkie. The barber said, "Sweetie, you are going to get hair on your twinkie." The little girl said,"Yes, I know, and I am going to get boobs too."

What time does the bar open At 3 AM a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens. “It opens at noon” answers the clerk. About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker. “What time does the bar open?” he asks. “Same time as...

Artery — Study of paintings Bacteria — Back door of cafeteria Barium — What doctors do when treatment fails Bowel — Letter like A.E.I.O.U Caesarean section — District in Rome Cat scan — Searching for kitty Cauterize — Made eye contact with her Colic — Sheep dog Coma — A punctuation mark...