Recent content by BlueMage

Why? He's taking it very well, unless I'm hurting his feelings by doing this where the rest of the board can see.

"That's your opinion, and I disagree." That's the argument you're choosing? Fair enough. I've said my piece. But, if you really want to divide the audience into "some people may like a choice of action, some may not mind, some may not care, and some, (In your case) do not like it. " Then right...

Alright, let's continue. Now, what's the best way to put this... PART 1 It was an "Illusion Spell" and Genjutsu means "Illusion Technique." Naruto is a 15 year old Ninja with a demon inside him. Filden is "a 16 year old ninja, and a born summoner" who will make a pact with a spirit...

After you finish the book, you might want to get someone to look at it. They can highlight the tiny errors, and then fix them before you send it to a professional Editor.

After reading your prologue, this is very good. Very, very good. There is one comment I have to make. You need to name the city and the mountains, because you said the words "City" and "mountain" several times in the first paragraphs. See what I mean?

Well, the quality is consistent. Another good entry. Except, you left everything Centered. Also, it really apparent in this chapter that you wrote this in a script-like format, especially since you added those Youtube links. They're a really neat touch, but their a bit of a crutch. To quote TV...

Okay. Let's handle this one comment at a time, so that neither one of us is overwhelmed. Upon reviewing what I have said, I was not clear enough. What I meant to say is that your "Introduction Memoir" is weak. It's not an introduction at all. It's more of a tease, which is the type of thing...

I didn't want to repeat what unphased had said. He did cover the most important points. I'll explain myself better later. But, I've got to go. I won't be online until tonight or tomorrow.

I'm in a bit of a hurry, so I'll respond witha short question. Do you actuallly want comments, or do you want people to just say "I love this chapter, keep writing"? I'm not trying to be mean. I'm not trying to say "You suck. This sucks. You should quit writing." My main comment is that...

Bah. Sorry. I got confused by your Yuffie avatar.

Well, you've definitely got me intrigued. When are you going to write it?

I've only read chapter 1, and I have to agree with Unphased (We're even the same age. Funny coincidence). It's anime-ish, you use some words too often, your description is a tad choppy. My difference is, that I did not enjoy the story, because the flow was disjointed. For starters, you should...

Except that BB is a Reality Show, and what BH is undertaking is scripted comedy. Reality Shows are about watching these, almost, cartoon characters, scream, argue, have sex with each other. It's like watching animals at the zoo, you laugh at these "people" and think, "If they're faking it, it's...

Of course, I didn't mean it as hard set rule. If the story is genuinely good, then you can expect to have success in attracting new readers. It just depends on how the story goes. EDIT: Oh, yeah, about voting people off. I feel it's a bad idea for comedies, because you mess up the character...

Bahamut's Heir: Seems to me, that if you do a, how would you call it, "friends insert" fic, then you should really only expect for whoever you're inserting to be reading it. Which limits your reading base to however many FFF Members you insert. In addition, it seems unlikely that you'll nail...