Serious Should I just give up?

[Kim Taehyung]

Anyone who knows what I talk about when I post in this section would probably guess the subject of this one. Yes, it once again has to do with me and Andy. Things just don't seem to be working anymore. Oddly enough, I feel the same as Kenneth does, only I'm like his girlfriend was. I feel like I should just go, and I know that Andy really, really loves me. For now, I'm held back from leaving, hoping that something will send a signal to me that I should stay. This has been going on for over a year now, and I just can't take it much longer. It's put a mental and physical stress on me. Where I normally lose weight over the summer, I've gained it. I constantly think how I would be if I just ended it. Hell, I wear his class ring around my neck every day, and I just took it off. I didn't want to feel the weight there for the first time in over 2 years. I just...don't know what to do anymore.

Oh, and even more odd, Kenneth: we share the same anniversary date: September 24th. (mine's 3 years this year)

 

[Daenerys]

If you don't love him, you don't love him. It's cruel to him to carry on stringing him along if you don't feel the same way about him as he does about you. At the end of the day, if he cares about you more than you care about him, it's probably a sign to call it a day. I think it would be unfair to him to carry on in the relationship if you're not happy.

 

[Bambi]

Dont mean to come across as harsh, but you have done nowt but complain about the poor guy for the longest time now. Have you even tried to work things out? if you have and its a whole year later, then stop being a coward and end it. Sure he will be hurt, but it's better than being lead on like this in uncertainty. He'd be fine and dandy by now if you didnt keep stringing him along for so long

Clearly it's over, you either don't want to admit it to yourself/don't want the upset of the breakup or you just havent tried talking to him about it

 

[Kim Taehyung]

Well, honestly, it does revolve around someone else. I'm honestly thinking of breaking the friendship with him off before I make such a rash decision. And if things don't seem to improve after that, then I suppose we aren't meant to be together after all.

 

[Ewan]

It sounds like it's over to me. I mean, you said you're being held back from leaving and hoping for something... for a year? ... It seems like you should have realised this and ended it a while ago. It's just a one sided relationship now, neither of you are likely to be happy so you should just end it and allow both of you to move on.

 

[Bambi]

Well, honestly, it does revolve around someone else. I'm honestly thinking of breaking the friendship with him off before I make such a rash decision. And if things don't seem to improve after that, then I suppose we aren't meant to be together after all.

doesn't always seem to involve someone else though?

Most of your threads have been along the lines of 'someone else'

You can't keep carrying on like this, just put him out of his misery

Does it not concern you in the slightest that he is a member on this site as well and he could see any one of the threads you have posted? Talk about public humiliation. You're treating him pretty shoddily tbh =/

And before you say, oh he won't or he rarely logs in, you never know. Not only that, even if he doesn't see the threads and pops back we all know and it's just.....low

 

[Dean Winchester]

doesn't always seem to involve someone else though?

Most of your threads have been along the lines of 'someone else'

You can't keep carrying on like this, just put him out of his misery

Does it not concern you in the slightest that he is a member on this site as well and he could see any one of the threads you have posted? Talk about public humiliation. You're treating him pretty shoddily tbh =/

And before you say, oh he won't or he rarely logs in, you never know. Not only that, even if he doesn't see the threads and pops back we all know and it's just.....low

I concur with Bambi here. If you really feel for him the slightest ounce of consideration, you will go straight to him and state it is over. Keeping it chained to you would do no good to either of you and in fact, it will hurt him more than you could ever imagine. First of all, the public humiliation (because even if this is not IRL, like millions of people could be watching this so it is the same effect when it comes to men).

Also, us men (at least some of us) can play the pretending game quite good when it comes to ignoring what is hurting us, so if you haven't seen any reaction from him yet it must be probably because he is waiting for YOU to tell him in HIS face that is over instead of learning it indirectly through the worst possible way imaginable: internet.

When it does revolves around "someone else", believe me it's a signal that something is really wrong with your feelings for him.

Now ask yourself, how would you feel if you traded places with him?

I don't intend to be harsh, but I am the type of person who values honesty in a relationship. Heck a relationship can lack money and health, but honesty? No, honesty is a must. I've seen this kind of situation dozens of times when the "girl doesn't want to hurt the guy" so she keeps him around trying to fix what can't be fixed and prolonging his misery.

When people start hiding things from each other, then the relationship is aimed to the wrong direction.

 

[Sum1sgruj]

If you really want to be fair, don't just 'end it' and not take responsibility. Tell him you couldn't come through and that it's your fault. That is, after all, what you should do since you've kept it going for so long. He deserves to have the benefit of the doubt_