Serious Online fear

Ashe B'nargin

Ashe B'nargin

Sweet Gambler..
Joined
Jan 18, 2009
Messages
239
Location
The Local Coffee bar
Gil
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Haven't been online using this profile for a while because have a massive fear of being online. It has been a scary and a rough experience and have done some terrible things, and lied to people because wanted to stay protected here. And might of hurt somebody in the process.

Have major troubles trusting people online. It's hard, epsically when you have been abused by many people online in the past. You don't see a face or a person's true expression. Which makes it harder to trust. In the past have been really naive online and it has been really damaging.

Though always loved speaking via forums. Whether the forum is a Naruto or a Bleach one. Just love speaking via opinions, and having a pretty icon and signature. It's great fun, and usually don't speak much in reality. ( offline )

But didn't realize until a few months ago. That had troubles trusting offline as well, being abused offline too was even more painful and sometimes used the internet to escape the pain and the harsh reality. Speaking about Final Fantasy did that job.

But after trying to leave this place. Felt guilty about all the lies and tried to make a brand new start, by being more honest about age and hometown. Was honesty scared that the chances that somebody might arrive by my house and start stalking was huge and fearful. But just- wanted to be more honest. Hate lieing.

Sorry haven't been the most truthful person around here.

Because have a fear..

Of making Friends..

Online and offline..

" Because of you I never stray to far from the sidewalk
.. Because of you I learnt to play on the safe side, so I don't get hurt..
Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everybody around me..
Because of you, I am afraid.. ''

Song-Quote- Kelly Clarkson.

Sorry everybody..
 
Its the same with me. i sometimes say things i dont mean and hurt people i dont want
to. Being online is like being in a different world where words sometimes dont mean
anything untill they are ill recieved. I really need to learn that the people online are actual people and not just things that make conversations. People online are not all bad, just some might have defenses on high alert because of things they have seen on tv and other places. dont be afraid. just use what you know about people to read them and see whether they can be trusted or not
 
Keyblade Of Destiny said:
Its the same with me. i sometimes say things i dont mean and hurt people i dont want
to. Being online is like being in a different world where words sometimes dont mean
anything untill they are ill recieved. I really need to learn that the people online are actual people and not just things that make conversations. People online are not all bad, just some might have defenses on high alert because of things they have seen on tv and other places. dont be afraid. just use what you know about people to read them and see whether they can be trusted or not
Click to expand...

Heh Glad is not alone. The Sad thing is that sometimes people online are actual people, and sometimes they are not. It's just a risk speaking online we all have to take.

Sometimes the online world can be a better place and sometimes it can just be... really bad..
 
I still remember the time you first joined the forum. You were quite shy and tried to fit in to get along with everyone, but ended up backing out, I thought it was something normal at first, since it happens normally when we join the forums and feel a bit 'out-of-place'. But after knowing you better I knew how you felt; as you told me about it.

I can understand you're afraid of making friends and ended up being hurt in the process. But unless you overcome that fear, I don't think you'll ever feel trully happy.

How you will overcome that fear, I can't really say. But try to deposit a little more trust in those around you. Give it another chance. The past can't be changed, but the future can. =)

Remember that there are good and bad people, not just bad. Making a new start and pretending to be someone you aren't will hurt more to you than the others around you.
 
Yeah, I used to be like that too. I lied about my age and my true name. At first I said I was 18, I was surprised people actually believed me.
It is hard on the internet, and it's easy to lie too. You could be talking to a child abuser or something. I agree it's dangerous. If you suspect anything just stop the relationship and see what happens afterwards.
 
I'm sorry to hear that. Honestly being on the internet basically means putting your integrity to the test. You can get away with murder and people would never know. Its up to you to be yourself. I mean if you give your info out just don't be giving out address or anything. Even though it is pretty easy to get your hands on someones IP and do a trace.

Anyways you can create yourself on here, or just be yourself without any shame. If you have someone giving you shiznit, just remind them that this is the internet. No need to lie about ones age, ones sex, ones lifestyle, because in the end you are just another fish in the sea. Would you liked to be remembered as a liar or someone who acts natural even in the face of scrutiny.

Also as far as the stalker bit goes. Well that is usually your own doing, unless they get your pic off the members picture thread.

Trust in people on the internet can be easy, but just remember, don't put your faith in them. It shouldn't be feared though. People are people, even without the internet.

If they are lying, well its only their loss. Remember, it gives you the chance to be yourself without having to hide anything from people.
 
First off Ashe, you have nothing to be sorry about, if you feel insecure about going on the internet, we wouldn't be angry about that. Now that there are online predators, it's easier to understand why someone wouldn't want to "open" themself up, even on the internet. The internet may be safe in the sense that it's totally impersonal, but it doesn't mean someone can't find you.

I personally don't mind too much about showing my true self on the internet, but I am a 26 year old guy who can take care of myself. Others that may not be strong enough to take care of themself should protect themself in every way possible, even if it means lying. In real life, I'm not the most social person either, and it takes a while for most people to understand me, but when I'm on the internet, I can be myself more without having to think that people are judging me and trying to analyze me. I can be myself without having to basically "break the ice" of getting to know someone.

So basically you have 2 choices. You can either protect yourself on the internet by keeping as much private as possible or you can just be yourself and hope that nobody will try to take advantage of that. There is no wrong choice here, it's more of a matter of what you feel more comfortable with. If you chose to keep everything private, then that's what you should do. You have no reason to feel obligated to being here to show us you exist, we totally understand your situation. I haven't been a part of this community for a long time myself, but I'll say that the people here are genuine and a lot of fun to talk to. We here at FFF don't bite, so there's no reason to be afraid of us if you did decide to spend more time here. If you were to suspect that you're being watched or harrassed, simply notify a staff member and they would be more than happy to help you resolve your problem.

Anyways, I hope you do come around here more often. It's always good to see new members participating in the forums and the forum games. I hope that gives you a better understanding of how we are in this forum. If you decide to stay away for legitimate reasons, we would totally understand and all the best to you!
 
Its pretty understandable to not be totally honest whilst online. It's an outlet to be someone your not. Get away from who you really are and what not. Many people do it. I choose to be myself while online or off. Mainly because if im online, i want people to like me because of me. Not to say its wrong for being liked for being someone else, just a preference i guess.
 
Don't know if it is worth staying here
mean basically backstabbing almost everybody in the main group
by having two different identity's and pretending to be the newbie.
But didn't mean to do that for a evil/callous purpose. Mean made the second profile so COULD have the honest start and beginning.
But just wondering how many people have been hurt/ backstabbed in the process.

Though when came here. Didn't think that FFF was going to be this social and had the plan to be like a Squall Leonhart kind of person and basically ignore everybody and just post about Final Fantasy things. Sadly it didn't work out that way.

But when wasn't scared of making friends anymore and started to basically be free/ get to know people on the chatbox. It was the second identity and just feel like ''the old Emo- Stay away from me '' VS the'' new Hewo I wanna know you'' clashed, badly.

But just want to know if it is worth staying here.

 
No need to be dramatic. I don't think people will think anything of it really. I think everyone has lied on the internet at one point, or even lied in real life, so to point the finger would be a heartless thing to do.

If you were talking with someone intimately though, well that's a different story. I would have to say.. just let it go, I don't think anyone will bring it up again.

If you are still scared of FFF and the people within it, well then I would have to say take a break. These people are very forgiving from what I've seen, so personally there is no need to develop a complex or a phobia of us.

We are are here to help you, not betray you or what not.
 
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