If we met today, we wouldn't be friends

[Ipsen]

I think it's the same in any aspect of life. I mean, I have met some wonderful people here, some wonderful people back home and even some wonderful people on XBL. But I still think if I met Tom/Ted/Jimbob/Fred like 10 months later, it might have been so different.

For example. A friend I originally met on XBL, Dean. He is an awesome lad. Lived a few miles away from me before I moved. Was working in a Supermarket and was pretty much enjoying it. Not the greatest job but it got him by. We'd Text whilst working, just fuck about on weekends and so on. About 8 months into knowing him he lost his job because he was reading a racist joke out to a work colleague and there was a woman behind him who heard it and obviously she went and reported it. And because this woman was putting pressure on the workplace, needless to say, he had to go. After this he was out drinking every night and getting wasted, and just genuinly fucking up his life to be fair. So I can't help but think we wouldn't be as close friends if I had met him during this transition in his life because my first impression would be he was a bit of a boozer and what not.

You have my friend Craig. When we are put in the same room we are like 2 hyper 10 year olds and laugh at everything. I knew him throughout school but I never really spoke to him until my last year there. We were both close to a mutual friend, of which we almost never speak to now. Shows you who your friends are at times, eh? So we just got on better and started hanging out more. Admittedly though my first impressions of Craig weren't great. Like...he would try sneaking into the Cinema's and "forgetting" his wallet and shit like that. Really pissed me off. But I feel liek if I started talking to him sooner then perhaps we wouldn't have stayed in contact after I left school. I can't really explain why but I just have the feeling it would happen?

I am thankful that I don't talk to a lot of friends from back in school. I have a few on Facebook and they are all in their own little cliques now and reading their status updates FUCKS ME OFF! Seriously, it's like "I go to University so I am clearly more intellegent than most of my friends list. Let's discuss current affairs such as Afghanistan or Euthanasia clinics." - It just grips my shit because they aren't the people I remember and it's almost like they don't want to remember that person. They just want to be like "Hooray Henry" and be like "Look at me, look how great I am" and all that bullshit. Everything they say is to try and get one over on you.

But when I look at it the other way, I think I could have easilly lost a friend if things didn't happen the way they did. For example, I have a Norwegian friend who lives in the UK. I always go out my way to see him when I am back home, but we obviously have this sort of special bond due to the fact we both have had the same shit happen to us. As in....Norwegian moving to live with his English partner...Scotsman moving to live with his Swedish partner etc. So we can always talk about foods we miss, or just anything in general so we are always on the same wavelength. But perhaps if I didn't move or he didn't move we might not have had a speciffic reason to stay in contact so much.

I guess it's down to the person really. I always make an effort - perhaps too much at times. But I think if they are worth keeping around you will always make the effort. It's just a shame that sometimes an event can completely change how someone is. Marriage, a new job, a child. Anything really.

[Lex Luthor]

I used to make an effort to be friends with this girl, and I don't know.. for some reason a lot of friends changing doesn't bother me, but just her does. I can handle losing touch with a few people I thought I was close to.. it happens. It happens a lot, what can you do? But when someone does a completely 180 from who they were, it just really strikes you.

[Ipsen]

I used to make an effort to be friends with this girl, and I don't know.. for some reason a lot of friends changing doesn't bother me, but just her does. I can handle losing touch with a few people I thought I was close to.. it happens. It happens a lot, what can you do? But when someone does a completely 180 from who they were, it just really strikes you.

I think from every friend I have lost as I have grew up I have met someone far worthier in their place. I was told by my teacher that there was a very high chance that hardly any of us would be in contact with eachother in 5 years due to the fact that most will be hanging around with their University friends a little more as they would see them more frequently and so on.

I think what she says is true, but it shouldn't be. If you were worth the effort on a weekend when you were 18 - you should still be worth the effort when you are 25. Though things can change which is a bit of a shame.

Sometimes I've felt like shit wondering why we I haven't spoke to friends in so long. I moved away a little before everyone finished school officially (Had already done the exams) so I had a little less time than others so to speak. But the attitude from most was a sort of "oh well then" even if I had known them for years because they were leaving shortly after me, so what did it matter?

That's where Facebook comes in and FUCKS ME OFF! I am constantly added my Jimmy whatshisface or some dick who never spoke to me at school or who was "really close to me" then forgot to write down my number or email or whatever. Then pretty much say: "holy shit!? You live in Sweden? why are you there?" then after I tell them that they just want to be like "I do this, I have done that, I am smart, I went to Uni, I am the best"

And christ I just want to punch them in the face. I feel that 95% of those I knew at school have done a complete u-turn on their personalities and it just feels like the universities are breeding grounds for dickheads or something. It's sad tot hink the people I spent countless hours with throughout and even after school I now couldn't sit in the same room with for more than 30 minutes without completely losing my temper over their general pigheadedness.

[chronotrigger]

When it comes to friends, I will say that I have had many and lost many. Some I wish wouldn't have disappeared, some I am glad are gone, but all have a special place in my heart. I am a scorpio, and sadly, most of the time, the parts of the scorpio are parts of me. Except in friends. I had one really good friend, you might even say my best friend, and things were great. We pretty much did everything together, had extremely similar interests (music, girls(she was gay), games, anime, etc.), the only problem is that she was extremely bossy. We were great friends until she decided to join the military. I couldn't join because of epilepsy, even though I had wanted to.

A few years passed and when I saw her again, it seemed like old times. She asked me to move out to Hawaii with her. I had my own house, a good job, car, and lots of stuff that I wanted to keep, but I didn't like my town and I needed to get away from an evil ex (Scott Pilgrim reference), so I agreed. I quit my job, sold my car and house, gave my stuff to my parents/brother, and I moved out there. She told me beforehand that I had at least 3 months to find a job and then she wouldn't be able to afford me if I couldn't pay my own way. After 26 days there, however, she decided that her military friends wife was more important than her friend who was always there for her, so she told me I needed to go back home since her friends wife didn't like me. She did pay for the plane tickets, but I now had nothing to go back to except my parents and evil ex. I have never been as good of friends with her ever since.

I do have a friend who I have known since I was 4. He has never been the most intelligent person, even then, but he has always been there for me and I have always been there for him. We have survived together through the highest and lowest points of our lives. We are completely different people now, he is into cars, sports, health, and sleeping with as many women as he can get to say yes, and I am into music, art, video games, and finding the right one. The funny thing is that even though we have absolutely nothing in common anymore, he is still such a close friend that there is never a time where I question that friendship. We get together and talk about everything even with our lack of common interests. He is maybe not my best friend, but he is my closest.

The thing that separates me from most people is that when I was young, I watched all of my parents friends gradually become less so important. Then I noticed it with other people as well. It wasn't because they didn't like each other anymore, it was just because they got lazy and nobody took the initiative to keep the friendship strong and alive. When I was 7, I made a vow that as long as a friend was worth keeping, I would always make sure they were close and always take the initiative if they didn't. I wouldn't let a good friendship go to waste because of laziness. I am a busy-body only because of that fact. I am always going to visit friends because they are good friends, even if they are a little lazy. What's funny about it, though, is that I don't like going places. Either way, I made a vow, and to me, that is just as important as a promise, and I always keep my promises.

Either way, friends come and friends go, but you can always count on the ones that are always there. People change and that is life. When more friends disappear than stay, then you will at least know who the real friends are. I have lost many friends, but it wasn't a total loss. I think that all experiences have a lesson somewhere in them and friends always teach us something before they disappear. I guess, my mantra on it is that stupid story. You should never regret what you do, but rather what you didn't do. Sorry, long rant leading into a moral of some sort, but I have a lot on my mind and this got me thinking. I have a tendency of going to far sometimes and getting off track. What I was trying to eventually get at is that I have felt the same way before.

[GalaxyFlare]

Facebook what a laugh!

some how turn it in to thread

Apparently not so much of stretch Channy........

People are bound to change the experiences we share are different from one person to another and at the age of about 20 the brain starts to enter its final stage of Development, friends who make rash choices and people who you meet at there lowest are not really looking for friendship.

Friendships that start under such dire circumstances don't have much validity, thats what friendship involves, over the years you learn about each other and can help when things go bad.

I have know fraternal friendships in my life the only person outside of my family is my GF that I consider a friend but she is much more than that (obviously) and making new friends is not a priority to me anymore............apart from my fellow FF freaks!

[Nocturne]

I've had some really close friends that Im not friends with anymore. It is sad, so I completely understand that part, but at the same time, I wouldnt be friends with them again as long as they are in their current state.

Most of the friends I lost (I was really close with them, their parents gave me keys to their house to come in whenever I want) I lost over alcohol and religion. First off some of them got so religiously intolerant, even within their own religion, they would sound ridiculous (and Im the same religion as them) that they would seriously just piss me off because they would seem two faced.

Secondly, they started drinking and smoking. I dont like drinking at all. I dont do it myself and I dont like being around people who are drunk. I just find it obnoxious and a slap in the face to alot of people who screw their lives up over it. But I do tolerate it to an extent. But I also have asthma and I cant be around smoke. Even if I didnt, I still think it's a disgusting habit. But they essentially just became really lazy and unmotivated and indulged in that stuff so I stopped hanging around with them. It became a destructive environment. Sad thing was, they werent even remotely like that at all before but suddenly changed. It's sad, but it just got to be too much to put up with.

It always sucks to lose friends, but sometimes, it is truly better to get out or get away from certain people and situations.

[seddy-0]

i am still friends with the 5..well now 4 friends i was in high school. i have known those guys since i was 11. now as we grew up.. i went the route of riding my bike, and working. my friends all mall ratted it up and hung out at the magic shop ( a store that sold magic the gathering cards and held tournaments) i would hang there with them every so often, but as much as they did. now in all seriousness. if i was to meet these guys now.. a few i wouldn't be friends with and or hang out with them as much as i do now.

as we all grew up.. we did kinda move apart. there were five of us, but back in 2009 one of us died.. i feel we all went in 3 directions. i went in one, he went another and the other four went theirs. now for a while, we'd all meet up and go to concerts and what not. but thats about it. what kinda did me in with hanging with them a lot. they al started smoking pot and i could not be around it.. that and i was dating a girl they did not apporve of.
but really to say i lost friends.. well they do fade form time to time, but we always come full circle..

[Kei]

I've been friends with 6 certain people since I was in 3rd grade until high school graduation so 7 years? When I entered University all of us went in different ones or just in other majors, I had COMPLETELY different friends from what I used to had, and when I went out with my old friends for just a reunion, I kinda did NOT enjoy my time with them, they were all "oh I did this and this in university, it's so kewl" even though they have been there for 3 years now, I thought they were just kids who just entered something new for the first time in their life. It seemed to me they didn't even mature at all, even though I noticed they barely did through our school years but after a certain point you've got to grow up a little. =| Still, I don't even remember how I became friends with the people I know, it just happens. O_o

[Lirael]

I've drifted apart from quite a number of friends over the years... Most of the time, this drifting apart has been a consequence of life, as we have developed new interests, no longer sharing many. Only once has a friendship broken down to the point that I feel just a little bit bitter about it.

The friends from whom I have drifted apart were my friends in sixth form. At the time, we were sort of glued together by who was friends with whom. Some members of the group barely spoke to one another, but we spent time together because we were all linked to at least 3 other members in the group. Bear in mind, this group only contained 6 and then 8 people.

After leaving school, only those friends who shared a connection remained friends. I haven't even spoken to one of the girls since leaving. How many of them would I be friends with if I met them today? It's difficult to say. I've become so disconnected from all but Kat, my closest friend. I have little idea about who they are today. :/

I used to be friends with another girl called Lucy. We met when I was 9 and she was 6 as her grandmother looked after me over the school holidays. My summer holidays back then were 10-11 weeks long! and both of my parents worked. ANYWAY, this meant we spent a lot of time together and we did become very close, a little like sisters. We could easily spend an entire week together, watching movies, playing games, creating animals from pipe cleaners and fimo clay as we discussed the guys we had a crush on... At one point, we spent most of our time walking around her village knocking on each and every door to ask people whether or not they had a dog we could walk. You'd be surprised at how many people said yes. At one point, we were taking up to 15 dogs, though not at once! that would've been hard.

Things changed, however, when she moved house. Pretty soon after moving, she became ill and had to go into hospital. During her time there, she lost A LOT of weight. She had previously been quite chubby, which had led to bullying at school. Upon her return, she received a lot of positive attention because she was thinner and then developed a new mentality. She stopped eating properly and became fixated on make-up, styling her hair and become a part of the glamorous crowd. That had never been my scene... I was far too self conscious to become a part of it. I also didn't like the bitchiness it encouraged. Anyway, it got to a point where we rarely saw one another and when we did, she'd bring another friend along without telling me and then call my by another name accidentally. Based on their body language, they perceived me as strange and different - I liked games and books, not make-up and tiny clothes - and she reacted to that, patronising my interests. I tried to salvage the friendship for a time, but eventually decided that it was best we went our different ways.

Oh, the things we go through in our teenage years.

[Morrigan]

Let's see...I used to have a friend till last year.We met in kindergarten when we were 4 or 5.And for many years we were good friends.I considered her my best friend of course.Two years ago a thrid person joined our friendship and it was all going well you know.Until I saw that I was kinda like a third wheel.They'd arrange to dress in the same colors,go out and not call me with the excuse of deciding it the last minute and me not having a mobile phone made it hard to contact me(yeah,because I live in a cave and don't own a phone...) and generally I saw that they had grown too close while I was kinda getting left out of things.So summer came and she went vacation.Although she knew me for like 12 years she invited the 3rd newer friend(who I introduced to her) to her other house,while she had never invited me seriously over there.Through the course of the summer we both had grown distant towards each other and when she came back she had changed...All the years I had known her she was the shy,quiet type,perhaps more romantic and all.And while I had being present at her gradual change over turning more out-going and talkative during that summer I felt she turned superficial too(something I cannot stand).She had started messing with guys(not too serious as on a sexual level) but even with some she didn't particularly like...Well,that was the end of it.We both grew apart,so it was kind of like a mutual distancing thing.
I've bumped into her a few times and all just being formal and sharing a "how are you" conversation,nothing more.
I guess we both changed,but I feel her change over one single year was very dramatic.Which made it hard for me to keep up with.
But then if she wanted that much to continue a friendship with me she would have tried to contact me at least once...and I would have appreciated it greatly.