Do you believe in romance?

[Estella Vanilla]

Love for all people is different. Personally I believe that romance does not exist without love. Without love it's just an attempt to get in your pants. If the guy loves you he's trying to show you a good time and make you happy/give you a nice night, weekend, or whatever it may be.

Like love is different, people are different as well. Make sure you choose the right person to be with. If he's doing "coke" I don't think it's a very good match for you. You're the type of person who needs a partner on an emotional level and I'm sure a guy fucked up on coke isn't gonna provide you with that. Not to mention I recall that guy is married? Right?

You just need to find the right combination of a person that fits your needs who loves you in the way you need. I hope I made that simple enough, I don't see this as very complicated.

And why can't he talk to you in a bookstore and get coffee with you? And after a while when you become more intimate get you flowers or something and take you to dinner? It's just a change of pace like Shu said. He doesn't need to constantly do these things, but it's a reminder that you're something special to him.

[George Costanza]

Yes I felt it was a bit bitter sounding. My humor can get that way...if not from what I have experienced, then what I have witnessed in other peoples relationships. I was capitalizing basically (like Jane said )on the cliches. I believe there are happy couples. However, it does become tiresome seeing the same symbols. Flowers, Wine, Islands, and jewelry? Ya know, how about something moving like, " This is the tree my grandfather proposed to her under." I would rather be left with that memory in my head when I lay down for sleep after a date than looking at flowers that will sit there a week and almost rot into the realization that same vase is going to hold blooms that symbolize someone else. And that happens with a lot of people.

So you want to replace cliches with things that are mawkishly sentimental? I'd rather have tired, bored and stale cliches than something so incredibly sentimental.

I don't know if I believe in romance, it's not something that'll ever happen to me, but that's not to say other people won't be swept off their feet by some tall dark stranger. I'll say what and do what I want to get what I want, I'll lie etc.
I expect other people to behave more or less like myself because I'm a cynic. So I don't believe people are romantic.

[Dean Winchester]

There is so much more depth to the significance of "romance" that you could ever imagine. It is not merely bound to the ideals turned into symbols by the media, or by people who simply want to make things more simple by just creating a routine.

But people are wrong, there is much more to romance than it meets the eye. It is a spark, it is the flame that is capable of melting even the most bitter and the coldest of heart. It is to be mesmerized, even by a simple, warm...splendid, pure, stare...

Not to be deceived by the appearances, by a simple pretty face. Oh no, it is much more than that. It is to be enchanted by the behavior of that person, by what their eyes seem to express. The eyes are the mirror of the soul, and if the eyes are pure, then there is a high chance that the soul is the same.

Romance is to have your senses being shaken by her presence. To feel the king of the world whilst she is not near only to be completely disabled in her presence. Romance is to master one's own shock and to plunge into the unknown, regardless of being loved back or not. Who knows, the world turns far too many times, and today's friends can be tomorrow's lovers, and yesterday's enemies can become the friends of the future. Nothing is written in stone, and many aspects of life can change.

Romance is to have your world completely turned upside down with a mere voice, to be unable to forget her innocent expression no matter how much you try to get her out of your mind. To love and be loved in return, no matter how hard things might get.

Not infatuation, for to have a mere "crush" is to simply crave over something just like a small child yearns for a new toy. Romance lasts longer, and it endures even the barrage of emotions and trials set by life. It lasts even beyond distance, and it grows stronger as you are separated from that person.

If you simply forget that loved one due to distance so easily, then it was not love, it was just an ilusion.

What if these are mere based on human subjectivity? What if these can be defined as mere chemical reactions that occur in our consciousness which guide our reactions and at times, cloud our judgment? What if these emotions are mere ethereal concepts that we came up with to give a deeper definition to life?

Without them, life would be a barren wasteland. A time without time, an existence without difference. A routinary monotony, to be the same as the rest. These are what define us as human beings. Some yearn for perfection, wtithout realizing that the cost of perfection is to relinquish all human emotons in order to be completely unbiased and subjective. Then forgive me, but I would rather remain an imperfect being.

I would prefer myself to be lost a thousand times into such a beautiful stare rather than being a complete heartless being. However, love is also a double edged sword, and with it might come desception and sadness.

Ironic really, how thin is the line which separates love, sadness, and hatred.

[Shu]

Well the big deal I was trying to get at is even though you are brainwashed to believe that women/men love certain things due to TV adds or how your parents raised you, I still believe romance has always sort of been there.

I mean romance is not some sporadic thing in my opinion, or if it is then it is a form of desperation. Then again romance should never exactly be planned to the very last drop either. That is the sole reason why I hate Valentines. It is just an over commercialization of Flowers, Chocolates, Expensive Meals, and whatever else is in it. We don't celebrate Valentines primarily, but I do get a small gift of some kind just to let the person I'm with know I care. They took the romanticism out of the Holiday waaaaaay back though, thanks to the over planning. Hince why the numerous amounts of break ups occur around the Holidays and such, because people have high expectations to be swept off their feet.

Without Love to begin with, Romance is categorized as pure lust. I mean you can be with someone for 2 years and still not fully know them, like my ex, so one night of lust (romance) is pure crap if it is with a person you just met and have no idea if they will reciprocate the love.

Romance is something that keeps relationships alive to be honest. It can be the most subtle of things from an event, to setting something small up like sandwiches down near the lake. To me it doesn't have to be astronomically huge, but with most couples these days, people are getting flat out bored with each other or just sick of the same repetitive B.S. (granted girls watch movies like P.S. I love you and get it ingrained in their head that a guy should always be romantic even after death)

What I said about an event, such as going to a baseball game or a night a the movies, or a candle light dinner (with no pets/anything else to distract you two) these sometimes actually are reproduced in order for marriage proposals to occur.

It's called pattern recognition. People think it is more special to simulate previous events in their relationship, because it was they first met/or had an amazing time/or just felt most attached at this time. Sometimes it is even more special than taking a vacation to an exotic spot. Relationships are founded on good memories (well I hope for most), otherwise you two probably don't have good compatibility.

--- and that's my last post to this thread.

[GanjaKat]

imo, its not its not something one can believe in or not, like santa or something, but something that you must be. Yes buying a dozen roses or candle lit dinners are cliche.. but there is romance in things other than that, like just staying in and watching a film, hugged up, or yes going away together or going OUT of a meal.. i would say, myself, i am a romantic, but again its not a choice of belief, and dis-belief, its a choice in character and prefenance to what one likes and dislike, example, i would find it "romantic" to go to a resturant where i first took holly (my gf of nerly 3 years) when we first got together, but she wouldnt, she doesnt like eating out... her idea of romantic would be making food at home, and having a picnic of sorts at the beach, when its darker and its just the two of us...

[Nalaar]

I was talking about the prospective comedian at the comedy club.


You did not read my post. Thats exactly what I want.

Blakstang, I wouldn't give you anymore credit if you paid me. I care too much. I did have a good sized comment for you...but it accidently got deleted. Sorry. I don't believe I have a need to analyze certain personality aspects of you any further, however others you know of, I remain relentless at. And why? Because thats what you need analyzed more than the origins of your emotional incognito routine. Allow me to flip the spectrum.

Blakstang cannot be read. OK....lets move that out of the way....What remains? " You want me to read you."

And in Stang-speak...that denotes I'm "curious".

You just need to find the right combination of a person that fits your needs who loves you in the way you need.

If he's doing "coke" I don't think it's a very good match for you.

I was talking about the prospective comedian at the comedy club.

And why can't he talk to you in a bookstore and get coffee with you?

You did not read my post fully. Thats exactly what I want.

Julius....I agree, and you are quite a fellow scribe. Very comforting. As far as perfection goes, I believe that perfection is relative not to man, but to God, as a desiger created for a purpose.

What if these emotions are mere ethereal concepts that we came up with to give a deeper definition to life?

And what if we didn't? Emotion is not conjured by us alone. Emotional response sequence is soul, by definition. They are involuntary. Lust is mathmatical symetry recognized in a human body. "Romance" is word that arouses bitterness in those who have lost it, euphoria to those who need it, and often indifference to those who have it. I am not bitter towards that which you speak, I am bitter towards the cheapening of it.

Romance is to master one's own shock and to plunge into the unknown, regardless of being loved back or not.

'Tis the woe of the coined "giver". The joy is supposed to lie in the ability to lift a countenance outside of ones own. Not manipulate a train of thoght to ones advantage, but often Romance is seen as either a way to a physical means, or an emotional one. " I elect you to complete me." Seems to be the law of the loveless land, when it should be, " I wish to accent your completion." Balance is not only key, but the door itself.

I'd rather have tired, bored and stale cliches than something so incredibly sentimental.

A positive emotion that triggers a negative memory should not be the catalyst for a fight or flight response, as you cannot predict if you will feel that same despair again. Sentiment is unpredictable, and therefore unfamiliar and unsafe. Cliche's often assist in letting you know ahead of time what to expect or not to expect. Thats why cliche's and symbols of romance are boring to me. They are safe. There is no room for a psychological adventure.

We don't celebrate Valentines primarily, but I do get a small gift of some kind just to let the person I'm with know I care. They took the romanticism out of the Holiday waaaaaay back though, thanks to the over planning.

St. Valentines took the romance out by burning people at the stake.

This thread is like a box of chocolates...

[blakstang98]

Lets be straight forward on one thing, you believe what you believe and I believe what I believe. I'm not trying to argue or even debate with you, I'm just saying what I believe. Nobody is analyzing anybody here, we're just saying what we believe. I think you're being a little close-minded about what others are saying. If you want to be poetic about it, that's fine, it doesn't mean you can analyze what everyone says and point out the short-comings of what they're saying. We can just agree to disagree.

Anyways, I've said what I needed too, but I say no more with regards to this subject. I don't care if you or anybody gives me credit or not, so long as I credit myself, which I do.

[Estella Vanilla]

I was talking about the prospective comedian at the comedy club.

I didn't know you were exactly/exclusively referring to Robin Williams. It sounded like you were applying it to your life as well.

You did not read my post. Thats exactly what I want.

Maybe you didn't read my post. I was trying to say why can't you do those things you would like AND have him buy you flowers? Because he gets you flowers doesn't necessarily mean it's a thoughtless gift.

[Nalaar]

Lets be straight forward on one thing, you believe what you believe and I believe what I believe. I'm not trying to argue or even debate with you, I'm just saying what I believe. Nobody is analyzing anybody here, we're just saying what we believe. I think you're being a little close-minded about what others are saying. If you want to be poetic about it, that's fine, it doesn't mean you can analyze what everyone says and point out the short-comings of what they're saying. We can just agree to disagree.

Anyways, I've said what I needed too, but I say no more with regards to this subject. I don't care if you or anybody gives me credit or not, so long as I credit myself, which I do.

What you believe is beautiful beyond belief Stang. You know what real romance is.

Wow...I was joking about the credit thing, as I like your complexity almost as much as you do.* for fuck sake, dude..*(wink) And the reason I said I did not feel the need to analyze you any further is because I already know WHY you need to be read. YOU claim people find you stand-offish, but I don't. I find you isolated. However, its not stealthy to invite someone to "open Stang up", with an avalanche of " I need someone to care enough to know the real me outside internet" innuendo and when someone makes an attempt call it grounds for an argument. Whatever you are thinking about comes out of your mouth eventually in way or another, as you are human.
Closeminded? No....again...I believe in a certain kind of romance, not the traditional or symbolic kind...Dude,...someone thought I was dating someone addicted to coke after I capped on comedy clubs

THus:

Good idea: Finding out what each other is coping with.
Bad Idea: Coping via a coping mechanism turned career that one must cope with even further so they can make more money so ther can do more coke...

Talk about not being read....they didn't even read the post. How do you think I feel?

LOL....

I didn't know you were exactly/exclusively referring to Robin Williams. It sounded like you were applying it to your life as well.

I see....alright then. Miscommunication. I was referring to Robin Williams coping, not to be confused with coping via Robin Williams.

Yes we have time for one more question!

Maybe you didn't read my post. I was trying to say why can't you do those things you would like AND have him buy you flowers? Because he gets you flowers doesn't necessarily mean it's a thoughtless gift.

Damn text. I understand that better. And even though I apologize my threads getting deleted prolly. Its great. And even though I say "prolly"...it will go on mod record as "definite"...why because I am a target...*runs*...

[Lirael]

I was going to post my own thread on Romance in general, since I hadn't seen one before, but this seems to fit, so time for a thread revival!

I was going to ask a few questions myself, so I'll post those here to sort of revive the topic, adding a few new points of discussion.

1. How do you define romance? (Opinions may have changed)
2. How has your opinion of romance changed over time?
3. Describe one ideal experience, perhaps an experience you could plan for a loved one in the future and/or would love to have a loved one plan for you.
4. Tell us about your most romantic experience to date.

I'll post my answers later on!