~ Twilight Poems ~

Sephire

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Every now and then I get these thoughts in my head and so I write them down and produce poems. Here is one I wrote a while ago. My poems are mainly based on love for some reason, some relate to me and some don't. But anywho ~

Don't Say

It doesn't take much to learn
When the bridges that you burn
Leave you stranded feeling alone
It doesn't take much to cry
When you're living a lie
And decieving that someone who cares
If I could turn back time
I would right the wrongs I made
In my life
And I would risk it all for you
To prove that my love is true
Build a wall around my heart
That only you can break apart
For only you can change the way I feel
So tell me what's the deal
Don't say, don't say it's too late
And now, the hills are getting hard to climb
I'm running out of time
My decisions are pending on you
And I will accept the blame
For burning out the flame
Hoping life will twist once again
If I could turn back time
I would right the wrongs I made
In my life

Comments and thoughts will be much appreciated =)
 
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Aralith

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I liked how the rhyming scheme kept changing throughout. Sometimes it was an AA BB pattern, other times a AA B CC D pattern, and sometimes it didn't seem to have a scheme at all. There was a lot of voice in it. It's like I could hear you speaking through the poem. It souned like there was a lot of emotion attached with this poem. Overall, very well done. Keep up the good work.
 

Tristis Miles

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Aralith said:
There was a lot of voice in it. It's like I could hear you speaking through the poem. It souned like there was a lot of emotion attached with this poem.
It's great how you say that, because my thoughts are the same. As I read this over then and now, I could hear you speaking through the poem too. It's one of those really powerful writing pieces taken deeply to heart and I really respect it. The repetition of "If I could turn back time... In my life" adds emphasis and really ties it all together. You're extremely talented, and I hope to see more from you =)
 

Sephire

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Thank you so much for the support you too ^_^ It really means a lot. Here is another one that I wrote with someone I know called Tom. It has no title so if you could think of one then that would be great. =)

Untitled

Alone in this cold dark world
Night is fading as this immense pain reaps
The very core of this shattered soul flows,
From the veins in which this blood seeps.

The hopelessness overwhelms my entire existence
Yet I stand unsupported and sane
I cry for help, I can no longer resist this
My heart forbidden to leave these metal chains

My corrupted mind controlled by these existing fears
My world is crumbling, closing in
Mixed shades of bloody red stirred by my flowing tears
The surrounding evil fuelled by the inferno within

Distant memories reaching my thoughts
Memories I thought were dreams
Dreams I thought were nightmares
Yet these fantasies were not what they seemed

The good vanquished as evil possessed my body
Annihilated time now an eternity of despair
Revenge will be witnessed upon this darkness
The goods status now in repair
 

Gaaramaster

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Sar, maybe you can give some constructive critism? I think it's a bit to...depressing sorta.
 

Sephire

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Haha yeah that's the idea of it. It's meant to be a dark poem, I like writing them for some reason o_O

Here's a more happy one then :P

The One

People tell me
You stay where you belong
But all my life I've tried to prove them wrong
They say I'm looking for
Something that can't be found
They say I'm missing out
That my feet don't touch the ground
But there are moments
When you can't deny what's true
Just an ordinary day
Like when I met you
It's funny how life can take new meaning
You came and changed what I believe in
The world on the outside is trying to pull me in
But they can't touch me
Because of you
I want to thank you
Fir all of the things you have done
And most for choosing me to be
The one
 

Abel

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I found a reason to keep living
Oh, and the reason, dear, is you
I found a reason to keep singing
Oh, and the reason, dear, is you

I do believe, if you don't like things you leave
For some place you've never gone before

Honey
I found a reason to keep living
And you know the reason? Dear, it's you
And I've walked down life's lonely highways
Hand in hand with myself
And I realize how many paths have crossed between us

I do believe, you are what you perceive
What comes is better than what came before
 

Abel

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Well I don't want to spam up the forum with useless threads. Everyone, post all your poetry here to keep it all organized, thank you.
 

Sephire

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Erm well after that, I wrote another one :P

Angelical Formation

I would die for you
Lay down my life for you
The only one that means
Everything to me
And you make everything
That seemed so big
Seem to be so small
Since you arrived

On angels wings
An angelical formation
Like letters in the sky
Now I know no matter what
The question
Love is the answer
It's written
In angelical formation

Comments much appreciated :P
 

Piratexcore

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Cloudgurl, i think you're trying too hard. i don't like rhyming poems for some reason, idk, it seems too mediocre. the one's that don't rhyme are just kinda boring. i don't get what emotion the other people were talking about. all i get is, angels in the sky, and falling in love, woohoo. well you could make a really great poem out of those things if you are good at writing. hmm, idk, use more metaphors or something, just spice it up, what im reading is just like everything i've read from other kids. make it unique. please!.
 

Gaaramaster

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I dunno, I think it's kinda good. Depressing stuff kinda annoys me and this isn't upsetting so I say it's good. have a pie.
 

momba_momba

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well i'll post my child hood's longest poem
My Pony's Advetures

I had a pony
His is name is Tony
He likes to play
In the hay

One day he found
Just one pound
And when he's thirsty
He licks something rusty

He sleeps in the night
And turn of the light
When he wakes he grows in his height
And hits stronger with his right

One day he grew very fat
And sat on the mat
He saw a rat
Running from a cat

He started playing sport
So he can be thin
And kick of the hen
Who lived near the port

One day I took him for a ride
My pony saw a horse and screeched
I told not to be scared
Because I'm always on his side

My pony is the best creature in the world
Because he's not bad
And never get mad
I like my pony

One day he heard
A cute singing bird
He began playing with him
And they both had fun alot

Done by:Me


So how was that good ?
remember its my childhood poem so it gotta be a little bit SILLY XD XD XD
 
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