Online Dating

DeadFantasy

Mysterious Warrior
Veteran
Joined
Dec 13, 2009
Messages
1,687
Location
You want me? l Come find me
Gil
0
Mako Points
1


2. Yes, I do. I'm going to be honest, I'm not ashamed of it at all. I'm currently in a long-distance relationship as we speak with a man. Is it hard? Of course it is, there's nothing harder than waking up every morning and knowing that he's not here with me, knowing he's not here to wipe my tears when I'm sad or to make me laugh when I need it. Trust me, it's extremely hard, the closest we have to face-to-face contact are our often Skype calls. We've been dating for over a year and a half , and I trust him completely. I might get a lot of replies trying to convince me of it, but go ahead and do so to your heart's content.



Well, I'm happy for you ! :-)just reading it and how you say it's so hard makes me understand why I would never do it myself. To me, there's so much more to a relationship then emotional connects, I feel its necessary to have the physical connections as well. I admire people that do do long distance relations I could never last :wacky: you are strong mofo's that's fasho :P

Why do you think people are going to judge--change your way of thinking and doing? It's your choices and your life. I for one, looks up ta ya. :griin:
 

Lloyd

only an entity
Joined
Oct 3, 2012
Messages
14
Age
31
Location
Mille Seseau
Gil
0
Mako Points
0
1) Have you ever dated online
I have not.

2) Do you date online why/why not?
I'm not sure. I haven't been in a situation where I've had feelings for someone I've met on the internet.

3)What are your general feelings over this topic?
I've known people who met online and are now happily married. A few couples actually, so I don't resent it or make fun of people who do it. I think that it's somewhat unreasonable but break ups would be easier since you wouldn't have to see them or talk to them again. To each his own. If you find someone special and feelings become mutual why not give it a try.
 

seddy-0

The Legend Thriller
Joined
Jun 17, 2006
Messages
361
Location
pittsburgh, pa
Gil
0
Mako Points
1
1) Have you ever dated online yes, i have.. i have joined 2 online dating sites

2) Do you date online why/why not? well for me. i travel a great deal with racing so my meeting someone offline..unless they race or hang out at a track or a cracker barrel.. meeting someone meaningful is probably not gonna happen


3)What are your general feelings over this topic? it has its ups and downs. i have met quite a few of the people i met online. the latest one i met.. fortunately lives about 5 minutes from me.. so we are looking to make it an offline thing soon. only small issue though.. her uncle owns the direct competition for my work.. so that may be an issue with my work if they ever find out.. but i ma not worrying about it..

would i recommend it... i would.. its kinda an adventure thing ya' i like adventure :)
 

Ed Elric

Fullmetal
Joined
Apr 25, 2014
Messages
348
Location
Where it never rains, TX
Gil
0
Mako Points
0
1) Have you ever dated online
2) Do you date online why/why not?
3)What are your general feelings over this topic?
1. Before my current boyfriend, I had met one of my ex's online when I was 14.[2009] We were together on/and off for a good 2 and a half years. So yea, I've dated online. But I was young, I didn't know better. Our relationship was a lie, a false hope. I think I truly took advantage of him, because although he cared for me as I did him, I was too young to leave.(pay him a visit) He was unemployed and couldn't afford to see me either. My family didn't support our relationship.[it being online and him older than me] I couldn't drive, I didn't have money. We wanted to meet in person, but it wasn't realistic. We'd break up, because I couldn't stand not being physically together, not being able to express my love of him. I got with a few other guys in high school broke up with them, and went back to him. I look back and think of how childish and immature I was. But I don't regret him at all. I met my current boyfriend in 2012 and when I started getting serious with Robert [bf] (even though we[ex] broke up... we talked frequent.) I decided to break all ties with him. I haven't talked to him for over a good year and a half.... and it's going to stay that way.


2.
Like I've said, I don't regret it at all, but knowing what I know now, I know I most likely wouldn't date online.(If I was single of course) [still possible, since i am older] It's easy to get to know someone, to talk to someone online, but I don't think I could take it serious.


3. Hey, if online dating/ long distance relationships work for you, props to you :monster:
I don't see the problem in it, and there has been many relationships that flourished because of the internet. haha I told my mom to join en-harmony :lew: because the men here aren't "good enough and don't want her.":wacky:
 

Mystical_Gaming

Her Story Begins When the Myth Ends
Joined
Mar 30, 2014
Messages
73
Location
Fabula Nova Crystallis
Gil
0
Mako Points
1
1) Have you ever dated online
Short answer: no (I'll explain down below, pretty sure it'll be depressing for many to read, you've been warned lol)


2) Do you date online why/why not?
I was really gunna try online dating as I don't get out much in the real world aside from my life residing at work for 40+ hours a week. So I figured I'd try online dating maybe. I'm only getting older each year and by most peoples standards I'm "way behind the curve" on this whole relationship thing. There are times I feel a small desire to be with someone and I figured Online dating may work for me. I set some rules for myself though before I ever wanted to try and be in a relationship with someone though: 1) must have a good paying job/career that supports myself and them financially (no debt) 2) have my own place/not be still living with parents (essentially paying either rent for a place or owning a place) 3) Feel like it's the right time to be in a relationship.

So ... is the reason I don't try online (or offline for this matter) dating because I failed at my goals or am still progressing towards them? Nope. I completed them with flying colors. I'm sitting quite pretty and prepared to be in a relationship in regards with the ability to financially support it. In most people standards I've got the green light to go out and date. So what happened? Well lets see here ...

I got as far as making an anonymous name on one online dating site, skipped all the info sections, and then hit submit. I mainly just wanted to see the filters and who was on the site. I really don't like the idea of having a picture of me and part of my name on the web. Heck the few years I had a facebook way back in like 06' even then I was weary of adding any or all info to my page and this was back in like highschool days when we were all stupid naive kids, even back then I was quite conscious about what I revealed to others. I thought after I felt more financially and mentally secure to try being in a relationship that it would be the magic pill for me be a normal person and actually try and be in a relationship. I'd finally get over the "paranoia" of putting myself out there but that was not the case. The sad reality I've come to is I'm not normal at all. I'm pretty sure many would kill to be in my position or are shaking their heads in disbelief or awe at what the hell am I waiting for. To be honest I can't even say the full reason why I don't try online dating for real. I think it has a lot to do with self worth and the fact social networks harm me more then do good. I see all the people with all their profiles and lists of demands and "what they want" "what they don't want" (Some more reasonable than others). I try to not compare myself but always come to the same feelings of "I can't live up to these people". So I avoid social sites like a plague. It just keeps me sane and I realixed it's not healthy for me to compare myself like that all the time. I guess I just feel sub-human all the time and social networks would only amplify this worse. Another part of it is I don't have that 'drive' it seems 99.9% of the world's population has to hook up with someone. Here I am, alone, and quite ok with it. I think most go crazy having long stands of solace but I enjoy it. I think I'm just not dating material and never will be with someone. I don't take the time to try and put effort into trying since I don't have a great desire to, minus very brief moments of "what if", but I always float back to being a simple and happy single person who goes to work day in and day out and comes home to have a nice quiet afternoon alone. This doesn't work for many people, they need that human connection with someone close but I really don't need it yet. I thought once I got my life all straightened out I'd feel more ready to date. Well I learned something about myself, I'm still not ready I guess and maybe I never will be. Simply put I'm broken when it comes to human interactions if it tries to go past the realm of 'friends'.

I think I'm gunna have to meet someone in real life who gives me that desire I so lack to want to be in a relationship. Chances are they will probably have to do a bit of the tugging too since I'm not one to really try and start things. I would be clueless of any cues they would be trying to send since I wouldn't even consider anyone trying to go after me lol. Online I see an overwhelming pile of cards to choose from with no idea how to even start it or fear of trying to ask someone out to only find out my very reply to them is offensive or they think I'm some kind of creeper since they were looking for someone way better. It's probably a silly fear but it will always be there with me.


3) What are your general feelings over this topic?
Good luck for anyone who does it. I just don't have the stomach to go through it after everything I explained just above. I get constant emails from that site I signed up for and it serves as a constant reminder to myself at what a failure I was at trying online dating. I guess I should delete that account, its starting to feel more like spam now instead of a venue to meet someone. As for the whole everyone fluffs up their profile to look good it doesn't bother me too much. I know when I was flipping through the account creation section and it asked "write in your bio what others will see" I didn't feel like just writing positive things to be honest. I felt more like just telling it straight like how I am quite a loner and enjoy time alone ... yeah that would go real well haha. I don't think online daing is for me but for others it may work.
 

Kalythe

Internet hobo
Joined
Jun 4, 2008
Messages
89
Location
Not in Los Angeles
Gil
0
Mako Points
1
FFXIV
Not active currently
FFXIV Server
Siren
1) Have you ever dated online
2) Do you date online why/why not?
3)What are your general feelings over this topic?


1) Yes, and it is and was the last time I dated at all. To be honest, this relationship is still continuing after 6 years. We met on an online game, like the start of any good story, and we found things in common and gravitated towards each other. Have we ever met in real life? No, not yet as I haven't had any savings saved up for any sort of international travel. As our lives have progressed, I believe we are on friend terms and it's okay like that. It's a common ground so neither of our feelings get hurt.

2. Aside from this LDR, I have never searched online for anyone because it's really hard to get to know the person. We've shared so many secrets and fears ONLY after so many years. Jumping straight into it, should distance not be a factor would have led to disaster because of 3).

3) When this relationship began I was in high school and my gosh was I immature, selfish, and insecure. There constant arguments because there's this you are cheating factor your mind creates. Since many kids are exposed to this way younger than 16 ( the age I was), they take it way harsher because their logic and emotions are still growing. Now i have grasped that if things do or don't work out, I just want the other person to be happy because we've been positive forces on each other throughout the years even with fighting. So overall, these types of relationships are ONLY for certain types of people and it may or may not work out. You just have to work twice as hard to make it work.
 

L

Iller than Radiation
Veteran
Joined
Jan 15, 2007
Messages
4,103
Age
31
Gil
0
Mako Points
0
FFXIV
Ellen Stone
FFXIV Server
Adamantoise
1) Have you ever dated online
2) Do you date online why/why not?

3)What are your general feelings over this topic?


I've tried. I don't. I feel like women on date sites are pickier about the men they choose to communicate with than I am when it comes to shopping for clothes; it's really discouraging when you get more passes from guys than you do from women. Sometimes it makes me wish that I was gay.

Unfortunately I'm not even curious.

But to me it just seems more and more like every time I get on a date site that it's just for people who want to get hitched or people so repulsive and/or narrow minded that they can't meet someone offline.

It's like, wow, haha. I used to think that I was shallow. And sometimes there are guys in great shape that are publicly shamed by the female members of that community for attempting to flirt with them in a way that they didn't appreciate. It just seems like a huge waste of time and no one on there knows what the hell they want.
 

Makoto Tribal

Genome #227
Joined
Jul 20, 2014
Messages
6
Location
Brit Stuck In Texas
Gil
0
Mako Points
0
1) Yup.

2) Nope. Went to visit the last one, ended up staying. Rings traded.

3) It's not for everyone. That's literally the most important thing I can say about it. If you're impatient, don't date online. If you're not cautious, don't date online. If you're not willing to keep a few walls up while you figure people out and make sure they are who they say they are, don't date online. And if it is for you? Meet in real life as soon as you are comfortable. What works in cyberspace may fall apart when you're face to face. There's absolutely no point in risking that, and every reason to verify a person in, well, person. Make sure you meet on equal ground, possibly bring a friend (more advice for females there, but anyone can get hurt, be careful). It can work, and it can work well, but if you're not willing to take the time and do the work, then you're much better of not even starting. For a lot of people it's a very bad idea.
 

Lirael

I love to read and discuss pretty much anything!
Veteran
Joined
Jul 17, 2006
Messages
2,904
Age
31
Location
United Kingdom.
Gil
0
Mako Points
0
But to me it just seems more and more like every time I get on a date site that it's just for people who want to get hitched or people so repulsive and/or narrow minded that they can't meet someone offline.
Interesting theory. ;) I joined an online dating website towards the end of February this year because my job (a teacher) doesn't really allow me to get out and meet many people. I made sure to give myself some free time and spent 5 hours a week in classes at the gym, but the only people who attend these where I live are women. :lew: In addition, meeting guys in person had not worked; my exes didn't have much in common with me, didn't want to do the things I adore - which doesn't work when you work 60-70 hours a week as there's no time for your relationship and your hobbies - and a couple weren't very nice people. :lew: I joined an online dating website to find someone who wanted to do the things I love like kayaking, skiing, walking and cycling and I wasn't going to settle for anything less. I don't believe one should seek a temporary relationship, and ultimately my long-term partner must love those things - I want to spend the rest of my life being active in the great outdoors with the person I love!

Anyway, to cut a long story short, in April, I met my current boyfriend. It hasn't quite been 4 months yet, but things have been... different - in a good way! He and I both want to do all of the things above (although he's a snowboarder, but that's a bonus because I want to learn!) and we just click. It's been bizarre at times; neither of us have experienced anything like this before. Sometimes it seems as though we're in one another's heads. :lew: I'll never forget the first time we made the same comment (a jokey one) at the same time. We share our sense of humour, our values, and our dreams for the future. :)

Now for these questions...

1) I have also dated people who I met online through forums, people who lived far away, but I wouldn't recommend that. I have no doubt that it CAN work if you're lucky, but the people I knew and loved online weren't the people I met when we finally came together in person. I don't think people have to lie in order for this to happen; I think people are slightly different online. It's easier to be confident, to express how you really feel - I even find it easier to be positive and I can express myself far more easily when I type! I'm quite reserved and shy in person, although I will be very bright and chatty when I feel comfortable. It takes time to get to know me.

2) I don't date online because I'm in a relationship, but I would not date anyone who lived far away were I single. I think you need to spend time WITH someone. Doing that allows you to develop a more honest relationship, one which means you learn to love your partner's flaws - or tolerate them. When you date someone online, it's easy to miss/ignore/forget your partner's flaws as they become a very idealised version of who they really are. In addition, if you type to one another a lot, your opinion of them is based on your interpretation of what they type, not necessarily what they mean... Tone of voice and body language play an important part in helping us determine what someone is like.

3) I've sort of covered my general feelings here... but I can add more! I think online dating websites are fine as long as you're clear on what you're looking for. I know people feel like it's a competition, and some feel as though it's a bit of a shop, but ultimately you shouldn't be looking for any old relationship, so what does it matter if a few people don't think it's going to work/don't want to commit? People join online dating website for a whole host of reasons - only a few will join for the same reason as you. Focus on finding those people and then try to discover whether or not they also have enough in common with you. Don't just look for a relationship - look for the one. That person won't mess around.

Note: Sometimes you will like someone kind who 'rejects' you because they click with someone else... That's tough, but you shouldn't blame them because they may well just be searching for the person who's right for them, and they may know themselves enough to realise that person isn't you. :/ Someone on the dating website I joined asked me out on a date a couple of days after my first date with Jay... I had to reject them. Although I had not met Jay since, I had spoken to him and I felt things were going to work - I WANTED them to work. I did not believe in dating multiple people at once and seeing where things went, despite the fact people told me I should do that. I wanted to commit to seeing what happened with Jay. I could also tell that the person who asked me out was looking for anyone - he was very lonely, which was a shame, but it meant that he was more focused on getting a girlfriend than finding someone he well and truly connected with. He had also told me on a number of occasions that the women on dating websites used their 'powers' in order to manipulate men, get what they wanted, and then leave. He made numerous other comments which suggested that he was slightly possessive. I think he'd become quite bitter. =(
 

L

Iller than Radiation
Veteran
Joined
Jan 15, 2007
Messages
4,103
Age
31
Gil
0
Mako Points
0
FFXIV
Ellen Stone
FFXIV Server
Adamantoise
Well, you have to keep in mind I'm not really willing to pay to use a date site... At least, not at the rates of which they offer membership. Free date sites attract all kinds of people and I guess they just aren't my kind of people

but i'm not accusing anyone or anything, i'm just bitter :monster:
 

Lirael

I love to read and discuss pretty much anything!
Veteran
Joined
Jul 17, 2006
Messages
2,904
Age
31
Location
United Kingdom.
Gil
0
Mako Points
0
Well, you have to keep in mind I'm not really willing to pay to use a date site... At least, not at the rates of which they offer membership. Free date sites attract all kinds of people and I guess they just aren't my kind of people

but i'm not accusing anyone or anything, i'm just bitter :monster:

Haha, the paid sites certainly are expensive! I decided to try Plenty of Fish first, one of the free sites. They may attract all kinds of people (but then, I think dating sites in general do), but it's possible that someone on there will suit you. I honestly didn't expect to find someone like Jay on there - I didn't really expect to find someone I connect with so much anywhere! But I thought there's no harm in trying and I had nothing to lose. Jay is most certainly a perfect match for me, which shows it's possible to find kind-hearted, funny and wonderful people on free dating sites. :) I don't think there's any harm in joining a free site and going on a few dates. You may not find anyone suitable, but it's worth a try. :)
 

Harlequin

Keepin it Movin
FC Leader
Veteran
Joined
Nov 19, 2009
Messages
1,553
Location
London
Gil
6
Mako Points
1
FFXIV
Harly Mystile
FFXIV Server
Lamia
L

Not sure if you're just trolling but you can hardly compare you being picky over clothes to a woman being picky over who she shares her life with and who sticks their willy in her. I get the impression people become more attractive the more selective they are. Not to mention most of the time women on those sites (especially the free sites) have a full inbox of unread messages ranging from "hi beautiful" to "hey gurl want some d?" so obviously under those circumstances it's not going to be easy to get noticed and anyone in that position is going to have the luxury of being able to pick and choose. Shallow doesn't even come into it, no one knows anyone it's all face value.
 

L

Iller than Radiation
Veteran
Joined
Jan 15, 2007
Messages
4,103
Age
31
Gil
0
Mako Points
0
FFXIV
Ellen Stone
FFXIV Server
Adamantoise
Not to mention most of the time women on those sites (especially the free sites) have a full inbox of unread messages ranging from "hi beautiful" to "hey gurl want some d?" so obviously under those circumstances it's not going to be easy to get noticed and anyone in that position is going to have the luxury of being able to pick and choose. Shallow doesn't even come into it, no one knows anyone it's all face value.

Well I was under the impression that profiles with short stories and things listing interests was for letting someone know a little bit about you were implemented for that reason and might be why people don't just list the address of hotel rooms when they message them. But maybe people date online just as bad as they drive.

@L

Not sure if you're just trolling but you can hardly compare you being picky over clothes to a woman being picky over who she shares her life with and who sticks their willy in her. I get the impression people become more attractive the more selective they are.

Which explains why nerds who will only settle for super models will be alone for the rest of their life, right? :kinky:

But I don't really care to discuss my experience any further; I mean, maybe it sounds really arrogant to say if there was anyone else within a radius of 30~ mi who wanted what I wanted, then I wouldn't be complaining about having an undesirable experience on an online dating site. But that's just how I feel no matter what anyone says and I don't think there is anything to gain from discussing it further.

Haha, the paid sites certainly are expensive! I decided to try Plenty of Fish first, one of the free sites. They may attract all kinds of people (but then, I think dating sites in general do), but it's possible that someone on there will suit you.

I've honestly tried so many different sites. It's an avenue I've given up on. But it's nice to hear that it works for other people. :monster:
 

Galadín

Staff member
Global Moderator
Veteran
Joined
Jul 15, 2013
Messages
1,617
Location
Somewhere in time
Gil
259
Mako Points
2
FFXIV
Salvae Celeres
FFXIV Server
Lamia
Free Company
Symphony
Honestly this is something that has been bugging me for a little while. I saw this thread a little while ago and I was like "hmm, what do you think Gala, is this you?". So here enters the painful self analysis that often times insipres one to reach for the alcohol cabinet. After some time I came to a sort of strange conclusion but mainly one that made me sigh a breath of relief as it was both honest but completely welcome. Simply put, I would consider myself a person who has neither dated online in the past nor would ever date online in the future. I know in myself that I need to speak to a person face to face to feel any kind of connection that might lead to an intimate relationship, mostly because I would need to see in their eyes something that I could trust. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy talking to people online and would consider them good friends of mine and I would value the people that they are (you know I love you guys! :wacky: ) but I'm sure you all accept that a friendship and a possible partner are two totally different things. Very different.

In the past there have been people that I have been fond of but when I think of it now it really wasn't anything like that, it was more of a "commradely, sometimes really concerned for their well being" emotion but certainly not attraction or "Gee this guy could so be my future partner" feeling. There were no bells ringing in the head, no warm cuddly feelings just simple friendly niceness. However, people are complicated and really view things differently, far from their original intent. Word of caution to the "I can't say no or a nasty word online because it would be mean" types, your actions will be misconstrued one way or the other eventually.

I have come across some pretty lonely and damaged members on other forums who, at a simple nice word from a person have a complete "That is so the nicest thing I have ever heard, I totes want to hug you" moment. Not trying to be nasty here (because that would be mean...yes I'm one of those :sad3:) but honestly, although their response can overwhelm you, what are you going to do? Say, "Hey come on man, I was just trying to sow some good karma!"? One doesn't want to push the person away despite their over zealous opening up but at the same time your friendliness and the time you spend talking to them will inevitably turn things onto a track that you, that all "nice" and "can't say no" person get caught up in. Before you know it you have an online boyfriend. No good deed goes unpunished right?

Am I familiar with this senario; hell yes! I have comforted people in times of loss and said "sure I like you, you're fun to talk to" only to see posts turn up the next day hearlding my wedding (fortunately in that incident the groom decided to disappear, I think he was bi-polar). Here I am, of the mind that I'm on the good ole' "we're just friends" standing only to find out, by their words or through other means (which is truely nightmarish) that me and him are now a partnership. :wtf:
Once there was even an occasion in which a guy claimed that I was as intimate with him as the internet would allow. As if! Still though, to have that on one's record unjustifiably is truely nausiating.

I consider this a real weakness in my character though and wonder why the hell it gets so far. All told this has happened to me a grand total of four times so one would think that I should have learned better. I think that the first few times was down to the fact that I was too young when I first started taking part of forum communities, not so much in age but I was truely naive. Online life just wasn't a thing I was familiar with and I was completely out of my debth.

As such with all these misunderstood fiascos, I have arrived to the safe conclusion that I never, ever want to have an online relationship. First off people can misinterpret your intentions. Then there's the fact that I just wouldn't trust an online relationship and lastly, I would need to feel comfortable with a person before I would ever consider a relationship of that calibre (I simply don't feel this level of comfort with mere words on a screen). I would need the personal contact with a man, for us to be friends and familiar with each other's moods and body language before I take the plunge into the murky waters of relationship. Meeting people on the interent just doesn't cut it and leaves me bitterly cold and quite a bit bewildered. I dislike a lot of online social networking as it is and really the only reason I ever switch on my laptop is to a) check in here, b) check into Dissidia Forums, c) do my art and lastly d) visit DeviantArt; everything else is an occasional thing that I view as a wee bit of a chore.

As a last thought I am actually really confused by the "Skype solution" people apply to online relationships. Having spoken to people online I can safely say that this has never worked for me. Not really. How can it possibly be the same as speaking face to face? Most times when speaking on Skype I get this uncomfortable feeling like I'm talking to my computer. It's so weird... and a little disturbing. :dry:

So what have I learned from all this? Mostly that when I do fall in love, it will be with someone that hasn't dwelt on the other side of a screen. That as a person I need to learn how to draw the line and to grow the hell up. And lastly, to be honest in terms of emotions both to others and to myself. It's important sometimes. Although I'm glad that the online scene works for some I do admit looking upon it with a certain cynicism.

This is Galadín in the morning and I leave you this song:

(with a truely random official music video :wacky:)

 

Cardinal Copia

Veteran
Joined
May 21, 2008
Messages
769
Age
31
Location
New Gridania
Gil
0
Mako Points
0
FFXIV
Prenneaux Grauhemoix
FFXIV Server
Lamia
1) Have you ever dated online: Nope
2) Do you date online why/why not? I do not date online because I feel its sketchy. There's too many stories of people either 1- being "catfished" 2- thinking they're meeting the person they're talking to, and they instead wind up getting kidnapped or killed, and 3- people lying about their age.
3)What are your general feelings over this topic? I generally feel that online dating is something that I wanna stay away from because it just doesn't feel safe to me. That and coupled in with the fact that long distance dating would be hard for me. I'd need my partner to be within distance so we could hang out in person and not just be skyping all the time.
 

GothicSyn

Blue Mage
Joined
Sep 13, 2009
Messages
218
Age
38
Location
Leeds, UK
Gil
1
Mako Points
0
FFXIV
Aerian Elcarus
FFXIV Server
Lamia
Free Company
Gaia
Time to completely my credibility on here :D

1) Have you ever dated online?

Yes, and several times over

2) Do you date online why/why not?

I Used to, and a couple of these turned into long term relationships, my first I met on Napster (long before napster was a paid for product and before they were sued!) This turned into me meeting the mother of my first born whom I was with for just over 6 months online and then 4 years living together. After we separated due to us simply been too young and a child only complicated things, shortly after I met my current partner (11 years!!) and we dated for a while both together and online to maintain the relationship, so it can work if it's leading toward something more or to fill the gaps of apart time.

3)What are your general feelings over this topic?

Different things work for different people, in reality I'm awkward and bad around girls, always have been but online removes the body language issues, at least for me, but if it makes people happy then I don't believe judgements should be made, love works differently for us all. I believe I've been fortunate because of the options online dating opened for me.
 

LovingOfLightning

Blue Mage
Joined
Aug 31, 2013
Messages
154
Gil
3
Mako Points
1
I don't use dating sites because, and it's taken me a long time to accept this, I just can't be bothered with relationships anymore.
"But that means you'll be alone!"
Well it happens to the best of us!
"Well I think you're selfish!"
Why?
"Think of the children!"
That I haven't got.
"But you could if you had a relationship!"
Oh so it's all about making babies?
"Yes! No... Er..."

Plus if I get grief of men, 9 times out of 10 it's his bag of bones, flesh and lipstick that put him up to it!
If you're insecure enough to manipulate people into doing stuff like that, then you should be alone yourself!
 

Rey

♥Solo noi due insieme per sempre♥
Veteran
Joined
Aug 25, 2008
Messages
7,184
Gil
0
Mako Points
1
FFXIV
Ellia Lombardia
FFXIV Server
Lamia


1) Have you ever dated online?

Nope. It is not something I have ever done and having friends that are women does not count. It is not easy to date online, I have heard countless stories about how bad it is online, and the consequences it could have in real life. If I ever online dated, I probably would not meet the person for a few years, regardless of plans. Stories are just stories though and I know some people have success dating online. It is just very committing and I would rather commit to someone I can easily talk to face-to-face.

2) Do you date online why/why not?

I partly answered this above but online dating, in my honest opinion is dangerous. It is very easy to lie online, very easy to think a person is fishy, and it is very easy to lose touch with people. The internet is like a throne room where you can say what you want, and lies are the most common thing a person can use to deceive you. You could be in love with a man, for all you know. It is a scary thought that the person at the other end can also have motives to abduct you and such or just wants to make you feel like shite and uses hidden condescending remarks. Maybe it is natural paranoia, but it is a common thing to watch out for online. Having online friends does not always have to lead to dating, and I have always thought about it like that. Much like Gal said there needs to be an intimate relationship and even through cam, or skype, I cannot get that. Hell, text is just text and you can interpret it in whatever way you want. If a person says you are cute, pretty, whatever else, I just stare at my screen and say ok, thank you, or ok that is nice of you as a friend. That is not dating though. Dating online would require an immense amount of patience and time to trust the person. I don't think about this, but my uncles have success with online dating. One is currently married and another may be married soon. How do I feel about my uncles having online girlfriends as their wives? Well, it isn't any of my business but I would call it desperate or laziness to meet someone in real life, or depression from their previous marriages.

3) What are your feelings on this topic?

People who date online can be happy but I don't think it is an easy feat to pull off because of online being so anonymous. I have heard of great online relationships but I wouldn't honestly pursue a relationship online unless I know the person very well and I can trust them eye to eye AND meet them in an expected time frame without any problems. You see, it is very easy to think someone loves you online or someone cherishes you because of this and that. I don't want to do with any of it. Can you imagine setting up a trip and the person never shows up and instead plans to kill you? Talk about paranoia but I am staying away from these relationships. I’m paranoid to meet some people on the internet as friends, depending on who, so it is natural for me to think online dating causes problems.
 
Top