My Poems

Dark Child

Ex-Soldier
Joined
Oct 21, 2006
Messages
54
Location
Chicago
Gil
0
Mako Points
0
I write poems in my spare time, good ones too.
Stand-by, I'm getting my book.......

LIFE

Behold,
Someone with spirit so bold,
but got a heart so cold,
and she can turn you to stone,
and trying to stay in her home.

But if your talking bout life,
the constant struggle, the fight,
just looking at her, the site,
and then just thinking, you might.

Now look around, what do you see?
You see nothing but me,
and who I'm trying to be,
but, do you believe me?

Now this is what you knew,
I have a heart of true blue,
Look girl I love you,
and I know you love me too.

No matter the danger,
no matter the risk,
I shall conquer my love with true loves first kiss....

The End

So what do you think? I need honest feedback, majority of who I showed there to liked them, but taking them on the net is the next level. Oh, and if you want to put this somewhere you gotta include my name on it..... Anson.
 

Tidus Blade

The Watermelon Man
Veteran
Joined
Jul 2, 2006
Messages
1,496
Age
28
Location
Dubai, UAE
Gil
0
Mako Points
1
Really nice poem, its similar to the types my friend writes but those are still awesome. ill waiting for your next poems ;)
 

Dark Child

Ex-Soldier
Joined
Oct 21, 2006
Messages
54
Location
Chicago
Gil
0
Mako Points
0
Thank you, in fact I think I'll post some now....


No Name

Face to face, breath to breath,
breathing hard, nothing left,
take the risk, what to do,
you know what you want, does she want it too?

You move in closer, slowly now,
look in her eyes, she wants you now,
the feeling is right, the timing too,
all the time you've waited, she never knew,
but now she does, you move in steady,
your not so sure, you think your ready.

The time is now, you move your lips,
lay your hands upon her hips,
there it is, don't go too fast,
surely you want this moment to last.

Things happened here you'd only wish,
this experience is your first kiss.

I wrote that one on a day I was sad and didn't know what to do, so I wrote that. I have another one called Dirty Hands, its a bit longer (3 pages of notebook paper!) but I'll post it anyway.....

Dirty Hands

I've been deliberating,
And steadily demostrating,
False realities, and why,
the world has been decinigrating.

A young soldier, willing to stand up,
for whats right, but refusing to man up,

I'm doing the wrong,
And I'm completely aware of it,
Looking, searching, trying,
to get things that I'll never get.

But I keep on trying,
It's like I'm addicted,
When I should just stop dwelling,
just forget it,

My heart is stained, soul detained,
But I do the same, just remain,

I've stood by and watched,
innocent's get slain,
You don't know the trouble,
You don't know the pain, it's insane........

I'm hurting the people I love,
I'm hurtin my friends,
Then I don't think,
And do it all over again,

The lone wolf, alone, no one around,
Don't be foolish, don't act astounded,

But my hearts been broken,
over and over,
I've been stepped on,
over and over,

I'm trying to strive, to stay alive,
one the insdie, maybe I should die,

No one ever really liked me at all,
My dynasty is over, time for my downfall,

Death, has stared me in the eyes,
You want to cry, but be brave, thrive,

I'm on my knees now, still not a man,
I've been tainted, I have dirty hands,
They cannot be cleaned,
Not after the things that I've seen.

So I'm asking you a favor,
be my life saver,
I need to get pass,
Make this friendship last,

Will I ever be happy?
I don't know,
but what can you expect,
messing with the inevitable.

Life is known to change,
Be normal or strange,
But its painful, and I can't stand it,
Never again will I take love for granted.

That was alittle something I like to call reality, hehe. That poem is about my eternal struggles, really it is. And odn't talk about it being too long! When you write whats on your mind there is never a limit.
 

Jimmy D

I want doesnt get.....
Joined
Oct 14, 2006
Messages
70
Location
Whats it to you?
Gil
0
Mako Points
1
Respect mate, I love them!!!! The poem Dirty Hands I have to say I thought that was your best. So much feeling. I enjoyed it, I hope to see more soon.
 

Dark Child

Ex-Soldier
Joined
Oct 21, 2006
Messages
54
Location
Chicago
Gil
0
Mako Points
0
I see, I've read some of your stuff on the other forum topic, props to you as well. But anyway, I was thinking about writing one tonight, but I'm getting alittle tired, so I might write one tommorow, even though I have maybe 3 okay ones in my notebook.

But I'll get to it soon.
 

Ximruccilim

Silvertongue
Joined
Oct 30, 2006
Messages
230
Age
32
Location
England
Gil
0
Mako Points
0
Sometimes the rhythm in Life seems to err, but it, along with all the others, is especially good. No Name is my favourite o' the bunch.

And you should not worry about length. My average poem transcends three pages.
 
Top