Birthweek Let’s Batter Benedick the Beaver!

Dionysos

Βρεκεκεκὲξ κοὰξ κοάξ
Staff member
Administrator
Social Media Team
Veteran
Joined
Jun 26, 2008
Messages
9,413
Location
Νεφελοκοκκυγία
Gil
3,746
Shiva Snowflake
Carlos el Cactuar
Chocobo Egg
Accessory (Arms)
Build-A-Member
Accessory (Head)
FFXIV
Polyphemos Bromios
FFXIV Server
Moogle
Free Company
KupoCon
Meet Benedick!

benedick-the-beaver-png.12284


Benedick the Beaver is an amateur historical reenactor who seeks to gnaw his way through a mountain of history books and recreate, however inaccurate, his ‘improved’ vision of the past (filled with beavers). Any soul who might be foolish enough to attend his historical performances mysteriously vanishes, while the local beaver population increases. Now Benedick's obsession takes him to Final Fantasy Forums and his desire to transform the site into what he believes FFF used to be like sixteen years ago… before any of us were here!

Let’s kill him before he gets his wish and undoes all of our work over the past sixteen years.


How?
Simply make a description of an attack and I will draw the injury in.


Example:
Someone may post...
‘The Athenian Old Comic poet Aristophanes writes a hit comedy which parodies Benedick the Beaver, and Benedick the Beaver himself is in the audience during its performance.’


Consequently, I would draw:
Benedick the Beaver - Test1.png


Be creative! Be warned though, Benedick has bested even the Fae and can withstand more than a common foe. You can track his current status at the bottom of this post.

To give order to this game I will be using dice to determine how much Benedick has been damaged for each attack. (I will be using this website for the rolls: http://www.random.org/dice/).

Benedick has a starting HP of 80. Each attack will minus whatever a single die rolls to Benedick’s HP.

Each person can only attack only once until the next calculation period. These calculation periods (or Turns) will essentially be whenever it is that I have been able to draw Benedick’s injuries and calculate his current HP.

Benedick will also be healed during a Turn. 2 dice will be rolled and the sum will be added to his health! Kill him before he regenerates!

The person to land the death-dealing blow on Benedick will be crowned the winner. The player who deals the most damage throughout the entirety of the game shall also get a prize.


Some further rules:
  • As always, do not ruin this by requesting naughty things to be done to Benedick. Anything too rude and vulgar to depict in drawing will be ignored or heavily censored.
  • Also, any crazy commands such as ‘decapitate Benedick!’ or 'Thanos snaps his fingers', while they will be drawn, he will not be insta-killed by such moves. The ‘healing dice’ of a Turn will do much to restore him.


Let’s kill him!


Current state of Benedick the Beaver:
Benedick the Beaver - Round 6d.png


Or:

Benedick the Beaver - Round 6f.png


HP = 0
 

Attachments

  • Benedick the Beaver.png
    Benedick the Beaver.png
    67 KB · Views: 289
  • Benedick the Beaver.png
    Benedick the Beaver.png
    67 KB · Views: 123
  • Benedick the Beaver - Round 1 Heal.png
    Benedick the Beaver - Round 1 Heal.png
    68.4 KB · Views: 108
  • Benedick the Beaver - Round 2 Heal.png
    Benedick the Beaver - Round 2 Heal.png
    52.8 KB · Views: 107
  • Benedick the Beaver - Round 3 Heal.png
    Benedick the Beaver - Round 3 Heal.png
    57.9 KB · Views: 115
  • Benedick the Beaver - Round 4 Heal.png
    Benedick the Beaver - Round 4 Heal.png
    60 KB · Views: 101
  • Benedick the Beaver - Round 5 Heal.png
    Benedick the Beaver - Round 5 Heal.png
    63.2 KB · Views: 105
Last edited:
Benedick is forced to watch Morbius in cinemas. The film runtime is more than long enough for him to countenance just how depraved and beyond salvation our modern society is.
 
A purple sharpie is seen flying into Benedick's left eye.
 
Benedick sits down and treats himself to some eggs benedict, breaking one of his teeth in the process.
 
*Repaints the gorgon shield to read, "Pansy".*
 
Benedict is forced to have Guy from FFII serenade to him in the tongue of his people, hearing a human speak beaver drives him to madness.
 
Turn 1

Benedick the Beaver - Round 1a.png


Benedick the Beaver - Round 1b.png



Benedick the Beaver - Round 1c.png


Benedick the Beaver - Round 1d.png


Benedick the Beaver - Round 1e.png


Benedick the Beaver - Round 1f1.png


Benedick the Beaver - Round 1f2.png


  • Benedick is forced to watch Morbius in cinemas. The film runtime is more than long enough for him to countenance just how depraved and beyond salvation our modern society is. (Linnaete ) = -2
  • A purple sharpie is seen flying into Benedick's left eye. (Six ) = -4
  • Benedick sits down and treats himself to some eggs benedict, breaking one of his teeth in the process. (Miko ) = -6
  • *Repaints the gorgon shield to read, "Pansy".* (sly ) =-3
  • Benedick is forced to have Guy from FFII serenade to him in the tongue of his people, hearing a human speak beaver drives him to madness. (Soulcorruptor ) = -5
  • In a bad turn of events, a pigeon shits on Benedick's head, which in some cultures actually means luck... so Benedick finds 5 pound on the ground… which is then stolen by the pigeon. (Paddy McGee ) = -2

Total HP = 58

-

Healing dice:
3 + 4 = 7

Benedick recovers 7 HP!

Benedick the Beaver - Round 1 Heal.png


Current HP = 65

You may now request your next moves!
 
Benedick fancies a bit of car insurance fraud. He tries to stage an accident by deliberately bumping his small car into a big SUV, but the latter's owner, Barry the Behemoth, is most displeased and steps out to teach the chubby beaver a lesson.
 
Benedick goes in search of Sly's missing legs before accidentally tripping over an old dusty snail, chipping his other tooth.
 
Benedick performs a seance to commune with the deceased Carrie the Courel, Carrie does not like being summoned and bites Benedick's hand.
 
The height of ignorance, a passing by cyclist throws his used Lycra briefs, emblazened with "ball stranglers" on the front, at Benedict, snapping to his shield and letting off the most stinky stench one might expect from a strangler of balls.

Indeed, Bene now smells of... dict and balls.
 
*points the dot directly at Benedick's crotch, triggering the full fury of the Emperor.*
 
  • Haha
Reactions: Six
Turn 2

Benedick the Beaver - Round 2a.png



Benedick the Beaver - Round 2b.png



Benedick the Beaver - Round 2c.png



Benedick the Beaver - Round 2d.png



Benedick the Beaver - Round 2e.png


  • Benedick fancies a bit of car insurance fraud. He tries to stage an accident by deliberately bumping his small car into a big SUV, but the latter's owner, Barry the Behemoth, is most displeased and steps out to teach the chubby beaver a lesson. (Linnaete ) = -3
  • Benedick goes in search of Sly's missing legs before accidentally tripping over an old dusty snail, chipping his other tooth. (Miko ) = -5
  • Benedick performs a seance to commune with the deceased Carrie the Courel, Carrie does not like being summoned and bites Benedick's hand. (Soulcorruptor ) = -4
  • The height of ignorance, a passing by cyclist throws his used Lycra briefs, emblazened with "ball stranglers" on the front, at Benedict, snapping to his shield and letting off the most stinky stench one might expect from a strangler of balls. Indeed, Bene now smells of... dict and balls. (Paddy McGee ) = -4
  • *points the dot directly at Benedick's crotch, triggering the full fury of the Emperor.* (sly ) =-3

Total HP = 46

-

Healing dice:

1 + 3 = 4

Benedick recovers 4 HP!


Benedick the Beaver - Round 2 Heal.png


Current HP = 50

You may now request your next moves!
 
Benedick having not ended the seance for Carrie is now harassed by the song of her people demanding to be fed.
 
Benedick is awarded nil points at the Eurovision Song Contest by both the juries and the televoters. :hal:
 
Turn 3

Benedick the Beaver - Round 3a.png


Benedick the Beaver - Round 3b.png



Benedick the Beaver - Round 3c.png




Benedick the Beaver - Round 3d.png


  • Benedick having not ended the seance for Carrie is now harassed by the song of her people demanding to be fed. (Soulcorruptor ) = -6
  • *Gives Benedick's plume a perm.* (sly ) = -3
  • Benedick is awarded nil points at the Eurovision Song Contest by both the juries and the televoters. (Linnaete ) = -4
  • Bulbasaur, use Solar Beam on Bene-doof! (Miko ) = -5

Total HP = 32


-

Healing dice:

2 + 3 = 5

Benedick recovers 5 HP!


Benedick the Beaver - Round 3 Heal.png


Current HP = 37

You may now request your next moves!
 
*Replaces Benedicks spear with a broomstick horsey.*
 
Back
Top