"Last nite; she said...

[Jack's Smirking Revenge]

... I don't never want to feel so down."

Let's hear all them great stories about drunken behaviour.

Just last night I had an absolutely crazy night. It was all normal until around 2am when we got kicked out of the club we were at. So we all hung around outside for a while having a bit of a crack, like you do. One of my mates pulled, and she was trying to persuade him to go back to hers. Then somehow it ended up me, him and two other mates went back with her and two of her mates.
So we got them home, and one of the lasses went to bed, while the rest of us decided to walk all the way to Tesco's to see someone else we know who works the late shift.
So we got to Tesco's and annoyed him, and my mate walked off with the girl he pulled to go and see the chickens roasting. When we found them again, he'd bought a big naan bread for some reason. Then we decided to leave, and on the way out, being the cocky cunt that I am, I decided to leap frog over all of the bollards to stop cars going on the path. My hand slipped on the last one because it was raining, and that resulted in a huge bruise on the inside of my right leg. So the other lass picked me up off the floor, and we got talking and got on really well. That all got ruined when her friend comes out with "she fancies you by the waaaaaaaaaay" and then she barely talked to me again all night. Ah well.
So we walked home, listening to Muse on my phone, and again being a cocky bastard, I lea-frogged a load more bollards on the bridge. I got over them all, and then as a finale I thought I'd show off and go over a bin. I got up alright, but I didn't have the reach to push myself right over and all that got me there was my momentum from my jump so I ended up crashing down onto my ankle, and it's really badly twisted. That whole scene must have looked odd; me laying there, not moving, with Invincible blaring out of my back pocket.
We eventually got back to this girl's house, and by this time it's about 4am. We all went in and sat up for ages making sexual innuendos and other random crap, while eating naan bread. Then at about 5-ish, we went to bed. The light was busted, so we had to change the light bulb in the dark which was epic. We stayed up for about another hour making more innuendos ("boys, get in bed NOW!") until eventually at quarter to six, me and one of the other lads decided to go home.

All in all, that was one mad night/morning.

Top that.

 

[Casanova]

One thing missing: a fight.

I'll tell you about a drunken fight I had last year...

Me and a load of mates were at a snooker club drinking heavily and having a laugh playing pool and such until it came time to leave because the bar closes at 11:00 (what's the point in staying without booze?)

My cousin who was with us lost his coat somewhere inside so I helped him look for it while everyone else went outside. Anyway we find the coat and make our way outside when I see my mate Jonathan's eye is pretty badly swolen and bruised, when I asked him what the fuck happened he said some geezer walked past and smacked him when he was stood outside.

At this point two bouncers from the club upstairs have come down to try and stop Jonathan from chasing after the geezer who was walking off in the opposite direction, then one of the bouncers says to the other, "Just leave it mate, it's out of our hands now."

So anyway they let us go and me and Jonathan are off down this side street looking for this geezer when we see him up ahead, we call after him and he turns around, takes his coat off and starts walking toward us. At this point Jonathan's running toward him throwing punches while I'm trying to decide whether to watch or help.

I decided to put my pool cue down roll up my coat sleeves and walk toward the fight. At this point Jonathan's got the bloke in a headlock up against a car so I come over and punch him in the ribs a few times and he goes down and we start kicking him up against the car.

Now all of my mates who are watching in the alleyway are screaming at us to leave him alone so I pull Jonathan away and we walked home.

 

[Bambi]

... So we walked home, listening to Muse on my phone, and again being a cocky bastard, I lea-frogged a load more bollards on the bridge. I got over them all, and then as a finale I thought I'd show off and go over a bin. I got up alright, but I didn't have the reach to push myself right over and all that got me there was my momentum from my jump so I ended up crashing down onto my ankle, and it's really badly twisted. That whole scene must have looked odd; me laying there, not moving, with Invincible blaring out of my back pocket..

That amused me no end, I choked on my soup reading that (totally reviving old thread but w/e)

I get up to all sorts of shenanigans when Im drunk. I almost drowned in the canal trying to get to Tescos. Not being able to swim and crawling a cross a loch gate pissed is not a good plan. How we didn't fall in I don't know. It wasnt even open >>

I tend to slip and fall on the dance floor alot which is embarassing

Some swine always seems to throw me over his shoulders and reveals my knickers to the world which is always funny at the time

The best one recently that I can think of though is my bf got banned for drink driving and shortly after I decided to have a house party at mine. We were all getting happily drunk until I heard the sound of a car engine. I stuck my head out of the window only to see the stupid twat pulling up on my drive. We had a huge drunken hum dinger and I was taken upstairs to calm down. Altho I just carried on yelling profanities out of my bedroom window

Next thing Im running down stairs screaming ''Just because Im a girl doesn't mean I don't know how to punch!!!!111!!'' (Or so Im told) and laid the fucker out in my front garden. Every fucker just burst out laughING. Oh the shame, lord knows what the neighbours must of thought

 

[Davey Gaga]

... I don't never want to feel so down."

Let's hear all them great stories about drunken behaviour.

Just last night I had an absolutely crazy night. It was all normal until around 2am when we got kicked out of the club we were at. So we all hung around outside for a while having a bit of a crack, like you do. One of my mates pulled, and she was trying to persuade him to go back to hers. Then somehow it ended up me, him and two other mates went back with her and two of her mates.
So we got them home, and one of the lasses went to bed, while the rest of us decided to walk all the way to Tesco's to see someone else we know who works the late shift.
So we got to Tesco's and annoyed him, and my mate walked off with the girl he pulled to go and see the chickens roasting. When we found them again, he'd bought a big naan bread for some reason. Then we decided to leave, and on the way out, being the cocky cunt that I am, I decided to leap frog over all of the bollards to stop cars going on the path. My hand slipped on the last one because it was raining, and that resulted in a huge bruise on the inside of my right leg. So the other lass picked me up off the floor, and we got talking and got on really well. That all got ruined when her friend comes out with "she fancies you by the waaaaaaaaaay" and then she barely talked to me again all night. Ah well.
So we walked home, listening to Muse on my phone, and again being a cocky bastard, I lea-frogged a load more bollards on the bridge. I got over them all, and then as a finale I thought I'd show off and go over a bin. I got up alright, but I didn't have the reach to push myself right over and all that got me there was my momentum from my jump so I ended up crashing down onto my ankle, and it's really badly twisted. That whole scene must have looked odd; me laying there, not moving, with Invincible blaring out of my back pocket.
We eventually got back to this girl's house, and by this time it's about 4am. We all went in and sat up for ages making sexual innuendos and other random crap, while eating naan bread. Then at about 5-ish, we went to bed. The light was busted, so we had to change the light bulb in the dark which was epic. We stayed up for about another hour making more innuendos ("boys, get in bed NOW!") until eventually at quarter to six, me and one of the other lads decided to go home.

All in all, that was one mad night/morning.

Top that.

Unless you got laid, it's an average story, English Dave.

Though I don't have many drunken hilarities, there're plenty of drunken disasters. With the exception of this year's new year party round the corner [where I found myself unconscious at the top of the stairs for an hour or so], every party is just your average amazing banter.

 

[Bambi]

Oh gawd, I passed out in my front garden once....at hal 5 in the afternnon. It was a binge and a half that me and my mate went on. Then I proceeded to throw up in her mums car once they had woken me up. Never ever ever again

We had decided to go get drunk at 2pm, it was only meant to be a quiet one, 3 bottles of wine and a few sambucas later Im staggering out of the bar with half a bottle of wine - manager chasing me telling me I cant leave the premises with it, (so Im told) so I just swigged the rest out of the bottle and handed it back. We were staggering up the street falling over

Lord knows how I ended up passed out in my front garden but I woke up at my mums at 4am with the hangover of doom

 

[Jack's Smirking Revenge]

Unless you got laid, it's an average story, English Dave.

Sadly it's just average then. =[