Serious Getting over the past

SapphireStar

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I dont want to go into much detail as Ill be here all day. K Ive been in a new relationship for 4 months now and I do like the guy, but hes not the one Im going to spend the rest of my life with.

Now, you all now about my twat of an ex, who keeps popping back up into my life. He keeps readding his previous ex, who hates me and even said she hated him, back onto Facebook and deleting and blocking me. Now this hurt me, yeah dumb right, cause I thought I meant more.

The last 2 months have been nothing but arguements back and forth between me and my ex regarding her. He told me last time hes removed her and wont EVER add her again. That was that. Then I was suddenly blocked again for 2 weeks. Yesturday he removed the block and I discovered he had readded her for a third time! So I sent a pissed off msg to him and blocked him.

The next 2 hours were exchanged emails, mine angry, his apologetic. Saying he still loved me and only wanted a friendship from me and someone to talk to from time to time. I was raging as he keeps changing his mind, 1 minute telling me to dump my current partner, the next he wants me as a friend. I told him to shove his love and sorrys up his arse. Well, he got mega nasty and said I was only dating my current boyfriend cause I couldnt handle being alone.


I admit I do still love my ex, but the last 2 months Ive hated him for what hes done and now I know theres no way were getting back together. Im so upset and angry he has chosen to have her as a friend afte all the crap she put us both through, before we even dated!! Shes a bitch, yet hed rather have her friendship then mine. I know he doesnt want to be friends with me cause he kept deleting me and readding her.

It wont leave me alone and God I got drunk last night cause I was so upset and angry over it. Im sorry guys, I do dump ALOT of emotional stuff on you.
 
Excuse me for being frank, but it's not really your business who he adds on Facebook, nor is it his who you add. If my ex decided to dictate who I added on FB I'd tell her to jog on.

It sounds like you need to decide on what the relationship is between you and your ex, I don't think this back and forth between to two of you is fair on your current partner. If he can't make his mind up I'd suggest you make it up for him.

I hope it works out.
 
Excuse me for being frank, but it's not really your business who he adds on Facebook, nor is it his who you add. If my ex decided to dictate who I added on FB I'd tell her to jog on.

To be honest, I agree with Harly. I am not question if you or him still or don't love eachother but I just think you are taking it a bit too seriosuly too. I think the best thing for you is to just tell him to get to fuck and ignore him. It almost seems like he's got you where he wants you because he's doing these things you don't approve of when it really has fuck all to do with you. If this girl caused the breakup and arguments then clearly he is a moron and needs to pull his head out of his arse, but that's still nothing to do with you.

Your current boyfriend must despise it because you are always feeling like this over affairs which aren't yours and never will be again (I am guessing.) and I would honestly just ignore the ex and focus on enjoying your time with your current man. I know if my partner was complaining about her ex I would walk out after so much and I am a pretty patient person in general

The only thing I can really say to you is stop going on about it no matter how much it hurts because he is just doing what he wants to do and you are just using it as a reason to argue with him. It's just causing problems. If he is worth anythign he will see he was an idiot anyway so really you should let him figure it out for himself and you should do what is right for you. Not argue with him all night and block and unblock on facebook. Man I hate facebook.

Just leave him be for a while and ignore him if he starts acting like a prick. I think you deserve as well as your current lad.

:cookie2:
 
agreed as well...

Excuse me for being frank, but it's not really your business who he adds on Facebook, nor is it his who you add. If my ex decided to dictate who I added on FB I'd tell her to jog on.

It sounds like you need to decide on what the relationship is between you and your ex, I don't think this back and forth between to two of you is fair on your current partner. If he can't make his mind up I'd suggest you make it up for him.

I hope it works out.

If your ex loved you he would never have left you.

He doesn't love you so you need to get over him and move on.

Find someone who will love you.It seems to me you're still chasing after your ex and that will lead on to more heartache for you.
 
Can I say AngryWolf that Im not chasing him, Im in another relationship. I want to know how I can get over my past and be able to be happy in the future.

The reason we broke up was due to his depression and my paranoia. He constantly flirted with the works bike on purpose. Love isnt always enough. My dad loved my mum, but he couldnt stay with her because they always argued and pushed each other away.
 
The let him go and focus on your current relationship.
cut all ties.It is for the best.
 
We can't tell you how to get over him, you've got to do that yourself. But if you're still not over your ex you probably shouldn't be with someone else :hmmm:

The only thing I suggest is keep reminding yourself why you broke up and why it wouldn't work if you got back together. Might stop you wanting to see him again (if you want to see him again, that is)
Breaking off contact with him might be an idea. If you don't think you can get over him whilst still being friends, the only thing you can really do is also stop being friends with him :hmmm:
 
Were not friends, he wants a friendship, I dont. Hes mates with his psycho ex and he thinks Ill do the same thing and I refuse to do so. Ive blocked him from Facebook so I cant go looking for him anymore and he cant look at my profile, spying like he does.

Gah, I really just feel like an idiot.
 
All I can suggest is removing/blocking him on facebook and having no more contact with him. EVER. You can't really tell him who to add/not add on their as it's no longer your concern, though he aint helping by being a dick over it and clearly messing with your head. Telling you to dump your bloke, then he just wants to be friends? Mind fuck. Do not want. Then you can avoid the following, and move on

The next 2 hours were exchanged emails, mine angry, his apologetic. Saying he still loved me and only wanted a friendship from me and someone to talk to from time to time. I was raging as he keeps changing his mind, 1 minute telling me to dump my current partner, the next he wants me as a friend. I told him to shove his love and sorrys up his arse. Well, he got mega nasty and said I was only dating my current boyfriend cause I couldnt handle being alone.


AND DO NOT RE-ADD/UNBLOCK HIM :rage:

It could just be me, but it kinda seems like he doesn't want you, but he doesn't want anyone else to have you either

also, this font is lovely
 
Lolz, you always get me larking Kel. Ta :)

My aunt said the same thing, he doesnt want me, but doesnt want anyone else to have me. Oh yeah, hes staying blocked on Facebook now.
 
Well, regardless of your feelings for this new guy, you really need to do as the thread title says, and get over the past. Probably a big reason you don't see a future with this new guy is because you're still hung up on the other guy. You'll never find any success in future relationships if you continue to carry a candle for the previous boyfriend. And as much as you claimed that you loved him, you made many posts about how you didn't trust him and didn't understand his motives and such. That's not love, that's a fear of not having love. So even that was mistranslated I believe. As well you've only been with this current gentleman for 4 months, it's still early. You haven't made any posts complaining about him yet, so if you 2 actually get along great, then there is some promise there. But in order for there to be promise, you have to forget about the other guy. You can't let what happened in the past mold your future. /cheesy line If you can make an effort to forget about the other guy, you may start to realize that this current guy is great for you. It's worth a shot anyways.

Best of luck! :awesome:
 
ahhhh internet drama.....


how to get over your past?
I think id probably be bad with giving advise cense I haven't been able to get over two of my best friends totally screwing me over like 5 years ago. it still eats me up inside. but I realized along time ago that this is me choosing to still think about them, and to miss them. they have noting to do with it anymore, it happened a long time ago.

my advise to you is that you can only get over it if you honestly want to.
let go of all those bad bitter feelings, and delete him off your face book and simply dont talk to him anymore. busy yourself so that you dont have to think of them often
and just let it go.
 
In my honest opinion 4-5 months in more than enough time to get over someone. My ex sends me crap all the time (or she did, until I changed my email). It was very frustrating, and annoying to deal with. She would read a post on FFF, and then completely go on a rampage about it in an email. Swearing up and down I was cheating on her, when I didn't. (Cheating is something that I don't like. No matter what the stipulations.)

So after being insulted like this about 50 million times. I deleted my email, blocked her from everything, and was left a lot happier. She can still read my posts here, but I don't care. She can't contact me about them. If I ever do get anything from her again, I'mma just delete it, or burn it.

So, that's what I suggest you do. Just block him from everything, change emails, do whatever it takes. The faster you burn bridges, the faster you'll start to feel better.
 
Even though it's pretty much settled, I'd say just keep him on block and make sure he stays that way. A guy who's jerking you around and doesn't respect your wishes (granted, you're ex's now so it's not quite the same, but you'd think he'd try if he wanted to be friends) doesn't even deserve to be your friend. And really, when an ex wants you as a friend, it's usually to either.. A, try and show up new gf's and why they're better.. or B, use you as a potential booty call later should you be single.

Stay with your current guy and make it work. :3
 
In my honest opinion 4-5 months in more than enough time to get over someone.

Lol, weve been apart for nearly a year now and were together for a year. Its just me being an idiot and letting this crap get to me. Thanks guys for this, I just needed to rant. My family just say oh ignore him and forget it. I cant talk about it, so it drives me mad and eats me up inside.

Yeah Channy, I get what you mean with the booty call. When I was single, it was something that would happen from time to time. At first I didnt want to do be a friend with benefits, but I thought why not? But I guess he thought he still "owned" me when we did get together for that. He admitted hes pissed off Im with someone new, but I told him I wasnt waiting for him to get better, I wait for no one.
 
Yeah Channy, I get what you mean with the booty call. When I was single, it was something that would happen from time to time. At first I didnt want to do be a friend with benefits, but I thought why not? But I guess he thought he still "owned" me when we did get together for that. He admitted hes pissed off Im with someone new, but I told him I wasnt waiting for him to get better, I wait for no one.

Yeah, it gets into the mentality of guys when they get enough booty calls, that they just own you. I've been there before. And you know what? You don't need to settle or wait for him. You go girl!
 
I guess this is a bit late, but I think you're fine Sapphire. The only thing I would say is no longer be nice to him in this situation. In all attempts, block him, change phone numbers, and hopefully he doesn't know where you live. If he does.. restraining order. He seems still hung up on you to be honest, but he can't decide since he sounds like a manic depressant. A lot of the symptoms are there, but if I were you I'd distance myself even further from him, even if it has been a year. Hell he might even have tourrets.

The best way is just distance yourself altogether for your own safety. Move on, and don't look back.
 
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Here's a hinitity hint hint from your local Seru!

How do you get over the past? You don't! If it was really love once upon a time, a piece of that will always be with you. It's what makes you the person you will eventually become, whether good or bad.

Now frankly, and I don't mean this personally because I don't know you, but it's Facebook. It literally is nothing but what you make it yourself. If you don't want to talk to him/know him there, then don't.

It's all a mix of self confidence and will power.

Good luck.
 
Thanks guys. I just cant believe how much of a liar he is. Itll be a year since we broke up on Saturday and I shall be spending that with my new boyfriend. It hurts he chose her over me, even though he swore he would never add her again or even acknowledge her. And he does this to me.
 
Not usaully my place the relationship area.........but I will help if I can.

Saph some guys are just arseholes, moving on instinct and driven by selfish desire and we men can be so ignorant of the things they do that can hurt other people, his desire have friendship with you is not warranted if what you said he did is accurate.

You need to have more self respect and expunge him from your existence, because when his new relationships fails where do you think he will go.........to the thing he was most comfortable in his relationship with you.

And when it does go bad you do not want him turning up in your life in a year or 2 disrupting you career or Studies or whatever you do, because of three of you of involved in this quandrie,you sound like the Sanest.

Even that might be like comparing hot water to lava but all we have to go on here is your word, Toxic relationships are bad and when you are there rebound its even more toxic like sticking a rusty knife in gangrenous flesh ,it hurts and will continue to hurt for a long time.

And what of the guy you are with now do you really want to get him involved?

Well that was not so bad.........I might do this more often;)
 
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