[Birthweek 2015] Mutilate Mortimer the Malboro!

Dionysos

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Meet Mortimer!


iqgqBxj.png



Mortimer the Malboro is the hideous spawn of a stinking swamp. Thousands of frogs and fish struggled to breathe in this overcrowded puddle and their deaths and putrefaction just added to a stench which made even the trees retch. As the waters receded, drained by Mortimer’s roots, the sinister Malboro emerged as the most gruesome abomination ever seen.

A self-proclaimed ‘dysodiacrat’, Mortimer set out to help the rest of the earth decay, thriving in polluted atmospheres. How better to do this than by stealing the identity of a respectable Victorian entrepreneur? The successful businessman Wilbur M. Blackmore met a vulgar end when he was gobbled up by Mortimer, who then burped out his hat, cane, monocle,and handkerchief to complete the disguise.

Our cigar smoking Malboro is now attempting to establish himself in society again, with his ambitious vision and unyielding determination he is contaminating the minds of all he meets. His hate-inducing bad-breath is contagious, and if he isn’t stopped soon it is feared that all that is green and healthy in our forum shall wither away. We must kill him!

How?
Simply make a description of an attack and I will draw the injury in.

Example:
Someone may post...
‘Mortimer goes on a date with Medusa!’

Consequently, I would draw:

v9xa9Gu.png


Be creative! Be warned though, Mortimer is strong and can withstand much. You can track his current status at the bottom of this post.

To give order to this game I will be using dice to determine how much Mortimer has been damaged for each attack. (I will be using this website for the rolls: http://www.random.org/dice/).

Mortimer has a starting HP of 100. Each attack will minus whatever a single die rolls to Mortimer’s HP.

Each person can only attack only once until the next calculation period. These calculation periods (or Turns) will essentially be whenever it is that I have been able to draw Mortimer’s injuries and calculate his current HP.

Mortimer will also be healed during a Turn. 3 dice will be rolled and the sum will be added to his health! Kill him before he regenerates!

The person to land the death-dealing blow on Mortimer will be crowned the winner.


Some further rules:
Do not ruin this by requesting naughty things to be done to Mortimer. Anything too rude and vulgar to depict in drawing will be ignored.
Also, any crazy commands such as ‘decapitate Mortimer!’, while it will be drawn, he will not be insta-killed by such moves. The ‘healing dice’ of a Turn will do much to stitch his head back into place.

Prize:
1st place - 300 Gil - 5 BWP
2nd place – 100 Gil - 3 BWP
3rd place – 50 Gil - 2 BWP

25 Gil and 1 BWP will be granted to anybody who has entered this game after their first command, but no further payment will be made after any following turns.

Let’s kill him!


Current state of Mortimer:
7GXRH7H.png


Current HP = 0
 

Six

𝗟𝗲𝘁'𝘀 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝗲𝘆! 🔪
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Mortimer the Malboro has a purple ribbon sneakily tied around his cane, as he receives a first to the monocle, shattering the glass into his eye.

(Ouch! :wacky: Sorry, Mortimer!)
 

Espurr

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This one is personal. I hate Malboros. >_>

Makes Mortimer smell his own Bad Breath attack.
 

Linnaete

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A topless Vladimir Putin wrestles the monstrosity to the ground, furious at the irreparable contamination of the very land he wanted to annex.
 

Mitsuki

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Linnaete Mellemme (Livi's FFXIV character) lets out a fart bomb on poor Mortimer! Like so:

1PWuAUd.png
 

Soulcorruptor

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The thing of accursed many tentacles tries to light his cigar and instead drop the cigar and lighter on another tentacle.
 

Galadín

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Mortimer tries to get to the enemy supplies.

Not exactly successful; he has a lot of tentacles and there are a lot of mines. *schniff*

anigif_enhanced-buzz-4174-1385432093-22.gif
 

iSmiff

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Sneaky Smifftuar hides the worlds hottest chilli in the Malboros spaghetti :smiff:
 

AuronX

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Mortimer chokes on one too many marsmallows playing Chubby Bunnies for Birthweek 2015 :D
 

Dionysos

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Turn 1

xDk1z8s.png


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A Dionysos faced T-Rex bites one of its many tentacles! = -3

Mortimer the Malboro has a purple ribbon sneakily tied around his cane, as he receives a fist to the monocle, shattering the glass into his eye. = -6

Al makes Mortimer smell his own Bad Breath attack. = -6

A topless Vladimir Putin wrestles the monstrosity to the ground, furious at the irreparable contamination of the very land he wanted to annex. = -5

Linnaete Mellemme (Livi's FFXIV character) lets out a fart bomb on poor Mortimer! = -5

The thing of accursed many tentacles tries to light his cigar and instead drop the cigar and lighter on another tentacle. = -3

Mortimer walks (slithers or something?) off a cliff. = -3

Mortimer tries to get to the enemy supplies. Not exactly successful; he has a lot of tentacles and there are a lot of mines. = -2

Sneaky Smifftuar hides the worlds hottest chilli in the Malboros spaghetti. = -1

Mortimer chokes on one too many marshmallows playing Chubby Bunnies for Birthweek 2015 = -2

Total HP = 64

-
Healing dice:
4 + 3 + 6 = 13
Mortimer recovers 13 HP.

Dt7o3TB.png


Current HP = 77

Wow…. A big hit for the first round!!!

We're not going to finish him off too early are we? :O
 

Soulcorruptor

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Garuda-Egi comes in and uses a windgust blast to blow off his top hat.
 

Six

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Waxes off the right side of Oldtimer's :-)wacky:) moustache.
 

Espurr

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Adding to what Kirito said. (Assuming that is allowed)

The marshmallows turned out to have mini timed bombs that exploded after the previous turn.
 

Mitsuki

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xDk1z8s.png


Why is Kira in there?


Mortimer enters the FFF Bikini Contest and puts a certain Lalafell to shame.
 

Dionysos

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Because she really wanted to punch Malboro's monocle into his eye.

That's what they do to English gentlemen in the Netherlands.
 

Galadín

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Mortimer puts too many sticky plasters on his wounds and develops an allergic reaction.
 
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