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Captain Squee

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To help him smell what things sound like.

Why doesn't Squall just slap his crew mates if he can't stand them so much?
 

Shaissa

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Why doesn't Squall just slap his crew mates if he can't stand them so much?

He has wussy hands and if he slapped them they would see how weak he really was!

If it is called "Final Fantasy" why are there 14 main ones? :hmmm:
 

Captain Squee

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Easy, it's all stored within their hair, for that is why they have such massive hair styles.

Why does Wakka style his hair like a birds head? :mokken:
 

Madisuzy

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Because Wakka's parents were really a pair of parrots.

Why does Kiros follow Laguna around after meeting him like a lost puppy?
 

Prince Oberyn Martel

The Red Viper of Dorne
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Because he is still recovering from the sex orgy he, Laguna and Ward found themselves, in a shady back alley bar one alcohol fueled night in Dollet.

If Kain is the Master Dragoon and commander of the other Dragoons in Banon... where are all the other Dragoons?
 

Captain Squee

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Cloud hired Jenova to appear like Sephiroth and kill Aerith because Cloud thought she was too creepy.

Why is Vivi so much shorter than other Black Mages?
 

Prince Oberyn Martel

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Because he took up smoking that ultimately stunted his growth (he quit by the start of the game because he could no longer afford it). Whilst all the other Black Mages have a healthy, self-sufficient and free-range lifestyle (except for the ones in Dali. They are just fat).

Why did Angeal, a SOLDIER First Class, have the Buster Sword even though it is one of the weakest swords in the FFVII world?
 
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