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| Writers Boulevard For all your fan fiction, original stories, songs, poetry, or anything writing related. |
February 2, 2008, 10:29 PM
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#11
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Just finished Chapter 5.
That scene with Jack was really cute. A little on the corny side, but cute. =)
And I must say, when I read this part,
“Here you are. This is your room. My room is right across the hallway, so if you need anything, that’s where I’ll be.”
...my perverted mind got the best of me. xD I half-expected a sex scene after.
(I'm kidding! xD)
Ahem, anyway...I really enjoyed their sparring moments. Something that came to mind was that...if he was showing her in slow motion how he managed to catch her off-guard (and vice-versa), then that shows trust right there.
I know that before going to bed, Tylas was contemplating whether to trust or her not - well then, that sparring moment clearly answers his question - because you never ever show your enemies or people you don't trust your techniques.
Eh? Eh? That's a cool afterthought, huh?! xD
Hmm, sucks that Kalm got burned down.
Anyway, I shall be reading Chapter 6 soon.
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February 2, 2008, 10:35 PM
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#12
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Wise and Magnificent
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Hmmmm! Thanks, Mit. I never even considered that before. I will fix that. Thankies.
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He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed. --Albert Einstein
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February 2, 2008, 10:38 PM
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#13
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Well no, you don't need to fix it...I mean, unless of course something drastic happens later in the story that suggests that Tylas doesn't actually trust Crystal, ya' know what I mean?
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February 2, 2008, 11:02 PM
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#14
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Well, it kinda contradicts his previous actions, doesn't it? He shows trust then he doubts if he can trust her?
Isn't that what you were getting to?
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~ Currently in search of a dragon sig ~
A room without books is like a body with out a soul.
He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed. --Albert Einstein
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February 2, 2008, 11:32 PM
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#15
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Likin' it so far, Il hit chapter 4 once my eyes dont feel so melted 
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My Snazzy (F)artV2. :3
Vayne Solidor:you GENIUS Lurid: That's actually ingenius. Good show Hips. Faith: Something hard would've obviously been felt in my mouth
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February 2, 2008, 11:34 PM
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#16
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__________________
~ Currently in search of a dragon sig ~
A room without books is like a body with out a soul.
He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed. --Albert Einstein
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February 2, 2008, 11:36 PM
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#17
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I hate having to read off a screen, I should just print it off then I could take it to bed with me
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My Snazzy (F)artV2. :3
Vayne Solidor:you GENIUS Lurid: That's actually ingenius. Good show Hips. Faith: Something hard would've obviously been felt in my mouth
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February 2, 2008, 11:39 PM
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#18
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Feel free to do just that. I give you my permission, if you like.  I'm so glad you're reading it!
__________________
~ Currently in search of a dragon sig ~
A room without books is like a body with out a soul.
He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed. --Albert Einstein
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February 2, 2008, 11:56 PM
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#19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragon Mage
Well, it kinda contradicts his previous actions, doesn't it? He shows trust then he doubts if he can trust her?
Isn't that what you were getting to?
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Well no. xD Because first he doubts her that one night, then the next morning, they had that spar. So there's no contradiction going on. I just thought I'd point out that by revealing his technique to her in slow motion, that shows that he starts to trust her then. |
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February 7, 2008, 2:30 AM
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#20
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o i c.
Thanks Mit. ;D
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~ Currently in search of a dragon sig ~
A room without books is like a body with out a soul.
He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in | | | |
