Serious I don't have an intellectual equal

Thule Esperada

Blue Mage
Joined
Jan 16, 2015
Messages
125
Location
Finland
Gil
55
I've had a problem with connecting to other people for as long a I can remember. I'm rather intimidated by people I don't know due to my background with being bullied and betrayed by those I thought were my friends. Now these are things which I can overcome with time, but there is one problem that I'm less hopefull about. I feel intellectually disjointed from my peers, and no I don't mean I consider myself to be smarter then most people.

It's complicated but, I feel I have very little in common with other people. An average person can engage in small talk or talk about the news or weather and be satisfied, but I don't find such things to be stimulating enough. I'm a rather philosophical person by nature, I enjoy looking at things from a variety of perspectives and comparing them to my own ideals and values, as a form of introspection. But finding similar people has not provided results. I don't believe my family can really help or even understand my dilemma, how could they really? I can barely make sense of myself.

I prefer meaningful conversation over the more mundane things, but I feel I'm not going to find anyone willing to engage in such a thing. Even amongst my hobbies I feel like an outsider, whereas most people in the fandoms I'm involved with consentrate on "shipping" or nitpicking about small details, I would rather analyze and speak about characters and analyze their morals and story arcs. But most people are content with stating they liked something or that it was shit, without reasoning or reference. And if I for example encounter people while playing games, I always find that outside of that one title our tastes in games have nothing in common.

I often fear that I'm just fated to remain alone for the rest of my life. Having spent years to finally understand that I don't lack social skills, just people to interact with, has simply replaced one dilemma with another. Now instead of worrying that I'm "wrong" somehow, has made way for fearing that there is no one else like me. Many people want to be unique and special, but I just want to belong somewhere.
 
tldr; You are not alone.

That's the beauty of the internet Thule. The very type of people you speak of I have met online. It basically allows one to bypass the physical limitations of communication. There are some of those people that you seek that aren't into using the internet from a social aspect. I can only assume that each of those people either aren't social out of choice, or they are in a situation such as yours to where they feel like they wouldn't be able to find the type of conversations they could truly get behind. You aren't alone on that outlook. Finding an environment where there are multiple people that are willing to engage in such topics seriously will be the tricky part regardless if you seek for that on the internet or in real life. For gaming related topics, I like to use this website: http://www.psu.com/forums/forum.php . If you would like to discuss serious matters such as politics or social interactions, this aspect of the same forum may peak your interest: http://www.psu.com/forums/forumdisplay.php/18-Off-Topic . Keep in mind it's not all serious, but I do feel it's a fairly laid back environment that have multiple people that provide reason to their viewpoint in decent detail often enough. I'd also recommend using this FF forum for anything in relation to media that you are interested in. Who knows, you may get somebody else into what you like ( or better yet find somebody already into what you like), but you'll never know if you don't try. If you have tried already, then you can ignore the previous lines.
 
I'm the same way, in the sense that most of my friends in real life don't get that deep or passionate about most of the entertainment they enjoy. They aren't inherently creative types, so -while they can enjoy hearing about the details of how something is created- they don't really seek it out. I suppose I'm lucky in that my interests are varied enough that I can find deeper conversations with each of them dealing with different things. While we squabble a lot, even as adults, my brother and I can speak deeply about games. Another one of my friends loves anime/art, so I can talk to him about such things at length. And my best friend and I are both petrolheads, so we can talk forever about cars. And I found a friend online about a year and a half ago who I can talk about music with, though our musical interests are polar opposites. But there are still many aspects to all of these topics that I just can't talk to most people about. I guess, it just comes down to diversifying your friends, and being as open as possible to their thoughts. Most people who actually care about something will be willing to speak deeply about it, and it's really interesting to hear someone speak about aspects to something you never thought of, because their perspective is so different.

I guess in that way, I've found people over time that I can talk about things with, by focusing on seeking knowledge and viewpoints, rather than focusing directly on finding someone to talk to. Plus, part of the reason I created my YouTube channel was so that people who have the same interest in game design that I have, will hopefully find my channel and open up new lines of communication.

So I find my intellectual fulfillment through diversification, so that I always have someone to talk to about something. Maybe that'll help.
 
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