Original A Mother for Lillienne

Josef Hare

Lord Benovine
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Hi everyone. I'm new to the forums, and I've only just found this subsection! I've been a writer all my life, and I'm currently in the process of publishing my first novel, which hopefully I'll get to talk about on here soon. I've started working on my second novel, it's called A Mother for Lillienne, and I just wanted to post the prologue to see if anyone has any thoughts!

Well, here it is. Hope you take the time to read.

Apologies if there are anything formatting problems. It's very strange, on my word processor it's fine, but when I copy and paste it here... hmm.

The first thing I knew was that I was loved. Even before I had a concept of self, I felt that I was wrapped in the sticky warmness of truelove. Like a raindrop in the reverse, I dripped upwards from my puddle, becoming something new.

Fora long time, there was only darkness. I had no idea of good, but I knew that the darkness was nurturing me. Then, time passed, in a moment, and in an eternity, and the first light pierced through the ever-lasting black, wakening me from my slumber.

Strange sensations shoot through me, things that I can't even hope to comprehend. The sounds I hear come to me in whips, snapping at me in perfect unison with the darkness that falls away piece by piece. I am certain these are not the first sounds I have heard, and yet I know they are a signal of a new beginning.

Soon,there is no darkness left. My heart pangs with excitement, for the first time, I can see. Others, there are others here, my mind is filled with questions.

“Hello.How are you?” I ask the flower. All I get in response is a small dance, the bright yellow petals fluttering, green stalk bending courteously.

“Hello Sun. How is it up there?” I smile appreciatively at the bright ball in the sky, but find it hard to look at it too long.
Well now, if I turn my face, it seems that even more people take it upon themselves to greet me. When I turn left, Flower gives me a whimsical greeting, if I turn right, the Sun pops up for a chat. I spin my head from left to right, trying to understand what is going on. Why would the Flower and the Sun behave like this? What a strange preference of theirs, what direction I move my face should not concern them at all I think. It doesn't make great sense to me, though not much does.
As I move around in confusion, I come across a batch of broken eggshells.

“Oh Egg Shell, do tell me why Flower and Sun act in such strange ways.” There is no response. And as I move my face some more, I realize that the newest friend of mine behaves in very much the same way.

“I'll ask the Sky, he'll know the way of this lot, he is the only one here who scarcely leaves me at all,” I say to myself.
I look up.

“Sky,why do the Flower and the Sun and the Egg Shells leave me when I turn my face?” I ask. “And why do you leave me when I look downwards?Tell me, what is the meaning of this?” In response, the sky sends a pleasant wind my way. The air tickles my ears and speaks to me.

“Silly babe you are, but a curious one too, and curiosity is the bud of knowledge. I can give you no answers, for I am but a stretch of white and blue. But if you want me, you need only look up, for that is where I sit at all times. I most certainly do not move around for you, though other beings might be inclined to do so once you become acquainted with them.”
I frown for the first time.

“That was an answer, and a non-answer. Curious. You may not be able to give me knowledge, but I feel I must tell you that I do not understand one bit! How can you be sitting at all times when I can only see you in the up? You can't be in the up when I'm in the down, or can you?”

If that is so, then perhaps I am the one who is in control of who meets who. By the turn of my face, I can meet any of those around me.Another great big burst of excitement pounds in my heart, I feel spoiled with power!
For who knows how long, I play with this new found ability of mine. Soon,I even start to comprehend the incomprehensible, through a strange,complex pattern of mind waves I can move forward, entering a whole new dimension completely! Then, I discover backward, and sideways.

“Oh,oh Sun! Look at me! I'm walking!” I chirp.

I waddle up and I waddle down, I waddle fast and slow, and I waddle all around in a big circle. With one big waddle, I leap closer to the sky.

“Look at me go! Oh Flower, you can't walk, can you?” I grin.

When I look back up at the sky again, the pale blue has darkened into a stormy grey.

“Well now, that's a trick I haven't learned! Changing your colour! Imagine that,” I say, impressed.

“It is because the sun is leaving me,” the Sky sighs. “Everything is getting darker, including you, though you can't see it.”

“Darker?I should hope so! My mother is darkness, she kept me warm and loved!I can't wait to show her how I walk.”

But when the darkness comes, my mother it is not.

“Poor babe,” the Darkness says. “I am merely the darkness of the night,I can not love you.”

“Is that so?” I ponder. “How disappointing. In my first day, I have learned ever so much, and I was hoping to tell mother all about it.Very, very disappointing in deed. In the old darkness, mother was with me all the time. Tell me, where is my mother now?” I ask.

But the Sky does not answer, as it is just sky.

I feel another first, but this one is not so pleasant. I feel the passing of time, and in that passing of the time I grow more and more unhappy, because I simply can't find anyone who knows where mother is.

“Where is she?” I ask the Flower, the Sun, the Egg Shells, the Sky and the Darkness.

Still no reply.

“Oh,where is she? Where is she? Tell me!”

I repeat my question again and again, hoping it will have some effect,but to no luck.

As time passes, the Sun leaves me and the Darkness hugs me as it did before I came into the world, but the hug does not feel loving.

“You don't hug like mother does!” I cry out.

And I'm feeling another first, but I don't know what it is.

“Sadness,”the Sky tells me, reading my mind.

“I don't like sadness,” I say to none of them in particular.

Suddenly,a noise surrounds me, much like the cracking of my first moments in the world, only this noise is more constant, it rings in my ears incessantly, never ceasing to stop. At the same time, breath runs out of me, and I wonder what is happening.
“What is this noise?” I ask the Flower, who has closed it's petals.

“You,”the Flower responds. “You're crying.”

So I am, and I feel positively miserable.

The next first is fear. “Tell me the truth of it,” I ask the Darkness. “Where has my mother gone?”

I have fear, and I have it heavy in my heart. Though I don't understand it, I know that I have it.

“Your mother is dead,” says the darkness. “She is never coming back.”

I may have already cried, but now, for the first time in all of my life, I weep.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Moderators note: Fixed some of the editing for you. Formatting usually goes haywire when copy pasting it onto forums, so your best bet is to just go through the formatting, or use the remove format tool, this way you still have to fix the spacing when pasting your work onto the forum, or use double spaces in your word documents. I strongly suggest just going through your format when you post it on the forum, hit preview before making the thread/post, and fix it to your likings.

Any questions, please PM me.
 
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