Adoption

Rydia

Rydia

Throwing rocks at emo kids
Veteran
Joined
Jan 21, 2007
Messages
3,212
Age
37
Location
The Land of the Summons
Gil
0
How do you feel about adoption?

I ask because I have heard both horror and success stories about this. The success stories are sweet when a child gets a loving home. And of course, the horror stories are awful where a child is either mentally unstable, or the parents end up being abusive. (Though that is more common for foster parents)

I think adoption should be encouraged more for mothers who do not want to have their unborn children. I only say this, because a friend's older sister is trying to adopt and they said that it might be as long as six years before she gets a baby. (They want a baby because older children are more likely to have emotional problems) Now, I'm not some crazy pro lifer by any means, but it seems like the only choices give to women that end up with unplanned pregnancies are either to have the child and raise it themselves, or abort it.

Though I also think that the adopting parents should be required to pay for the mother's medical bills because going through with the pregnancy can be a real burden on the mother. Also, when the baby is born, if there is something wrong with it, the adopting parents should not be able to step out. The baby should be their responsibility and it they do not want a child with special needs, then they need to make arrangements for it to go to another parent. And along that, once the birth mother gives up her baby, she should not be allowed to suddenly decide that she wants it back and retake custody of the child when it's like three years old. That's unfair to the child who has only know his or her adopted parents.

My sister also recently adopted a little girl from the Ukrain. The girl was from a deaf orphanage and only had about 10% hearing in each ear. They were able to get her hearing aids and now she can her at about 90%. THe girl was abandoned when she was four by her parents who were gypsies and alcholics, but despite all this, she is very sweet and has a very loving personality :).
 
I think that adoption is the best way to go if you don't want to raise the child you didn't mean to get pregnant with.

I always said that if I ended up a single parent or got raped (hopefully never) that I would go through with the pregnancy and give it up for adoption. I just couldn't see myself going through with an abortion.

Though on the other hand I don't think that there are that many women out there that aren't able to have children, so if everyone were to just opt out of abortion, I think we'd have too many children without the attention they deserve due to there being not enough parents out there who are wanting to adopt.

It's really insane how it takes parents who want to adopt, so long to do so. You'd think that after all the checks on them that they would be able to adopt right away, seeing as they actually want to take care of a child, opposed to parents who just pop them out and don't give a shit about them. <_<
 
Adoption is one of the easier subjects in my opinion. The most basic reasons I support it are...

1) An unfit mother instead of aborting the child can sign it over to loving parents.

2) Parents who are wanting to have a kid but either the guy or girl is unable to produce babies.

3) Adoption is the most sure of way, when a family can tell when to have a kid.

-- side note on three. Reason I say this is because, many babies in this world were actually not planned and also probably could of had a little bit notice before having a child. So this is the more definite way you can tell if a family is ready to raise a child.
 
I suppose my views on this subject vary.

On a bad note, some kids just never adapt to a new family. This is morely the case for kids that know these aren't their real parents and sort of have a rebellious attitude about viewing these guardians as their parents. But again, it's sort of a dysfunctional child in a lose-lose situation.

On the better side, as mentioned, having a young child be brought up in a better household than that of their parents will only benefit the child in the long run.

As for me personally, I would rather have my children be part me and part of my wife. I mean to see a child grow up with the personality traits of both of us is special. But if an unfortunate situation were to arise where one is infertile or one has to have an emergency procedure that takes away their reproductive abilities, then adoption is the only choice if children are to be of your future.
 
Would rather see kids adopted then aborted. Though i can see the abortion' side of the story.

But back to topic. Adotpion....Well all i can really say is their giving the kdi a chance, just because the parents give up their kid, don;t think wrongly of them. It could have been a worse outcome.

Overall: Adoption=second chances=good news.
 
I don't think anyone is really against adoption, the only negative is that people see it as an alternative to an abortion and therefore want to make abortions illegal. Though they actually want to make abortions illegal and then say have your child adopted instead.

Though I also think that the adopting parents should be required to pay for the mother's medical bills because going through with the pregnancy can be a real burden on the mother.
Click to expand...
I don't agree with that. It means there's no room for the mother to changer her mind after she's given birth.

My sister also recently adopted a little girl from the Ukrain. The girl was from a deaf orphanage and only had about 10% hearing in each ear. They were able to get her hearing aids and now she can her at about 90%. THe girl was abandoned when she was four by her parents who were gypsies and alcholics, but despite all this, she is very sweet and has a very loving personality
smile1.gif
.
Click to expand...
For sometime in England it was almost fashionable to adopt babies from Ceausescu's Romania because the state was poorly equipped to deal with them. I think that's quite a good thing, despite the sometimes questionable motives a la Madonna. I think that if people really want to adopt and they can't for whatever reason get a child from their country, they should adopt African or Eastern European children, who would otherwise have quite miserable and short lives. Though I doubt whether too many people would be happy with a children from a different race that looks nothing like them.
 
I admire people who adopt children. Not the twisted bastards who abuse the children, not at all. These ones will be punished. But to the kind, loving homes who give a child a second chance. You like to think that the children are being well cared for, but sadly its not always the case.
 
Adoption to me is a great thing in and of itself. My mother, my father and my aunt were all adopted as babies; my aunt and mom having been adopted together. When you have that much family coming from an unknown sources, it kind of sucks growing up not knowing your relatives medical history, past and just not knowing them in the first place. For the first 16 or so years of my life, I grew up not knowing where I came from - aside from my mom and dad. We didn't know who our real grandma was, nor did we know our real grandpa; no real cousins, aunts, uncles...didn't really know a thing.

Finally, like I said, when I was about 16, my mom found her real mother and things began to unravel. Before I go off on too much of a tangent, those are the only really bad things I have to say about adoption from my experiences with the matter. My mom and aunt were raised in an awesome, loving family (although my adopted grandma passed away from cancer when my mom was 18), and my dad grew up in a good home, too. They seemed to be very happy with the folks who took them into their homes and raised them as their own.
 
Personally for me adoption is something I would likely consider if I was to discover somewhere down the line that I cant have children of my own, I would have to give it a heck of a lot of thought and I'd also have to be sure its what I and my partner both wanted to do before even applying to the adoptee register.

A little known thing about my family, is my father was actually Fostered when he was younger because his mother couldnt care for him as she suffered from mental illness, My father is one of the strongest people I know and I highly respect him because anything I have ever been through, my Father has been through it and then some. My father also used to talk of his foster parents fondly as they were the ones that brought him up, and he will never hear a bad word said about them.

So in truth, I would have no problems with adopting because my Father was and my Father turned out to be one of the most caring individuals I know.
 
I don't harbor any ill feelings toward adoption myself. Someone close to me, and I say this with full thought to the details of the situation, would have been better off adopting by someone.

However, I don't feel like I can comment on the abortion vs. adoption because it's very much something I will never ever experience. I'm a man and, baring scientific discovery, I can't have a child. So, I don't fully understand what it would be like to be raped and then have to have the child.

I don't think it's a simple decision for the poeple who are having abortions, too. It's not something they're ever liable to forget. It may be the only option they feel they have.
 
I am very pro-adoption. My Dad, my Nan and one of my best friends are all adoption success stories. I am bisexual, leaning towards gay, so I would most likely be adopting if I wanted to raise children. Even if I do go with a woman I will discuss my views with her saying that there are way too many orphans in the world and it makes me sad every day.
 
I'm gonna throw down some cards here, I feel strongly about adoption without it I wouldn't have my Five year old boy now. I can't have children so it was the only way. As I can see there have been stories in the past of parents beating children. Thats just the same as child abuse.
 
For me id rather adopt a child,i am most able to bare my own but all in all I dont want to have any myself so in the future if I do I plan to adopt. an older child at that to manny people want babies but not the ones thet realy need the love. Yeah older kids may have issues and alot of problems...but to me they need the love and home more...someone to relate to who wants to help them....and is just there for them..Thats for me.

In regards to having the child as apposed to abortion...to each their own what one does with ones body is that persons choice and frankly if it where me I dont know what I would do till the time came so I cant answer that.

As I said to manny people want babies and imo to manny over look the ones who realy need the home,care and love because its to much trouble for them....
 
I think it's great. It provides a chance of a happy healthy life for children of any age or race. No matter where they come from, if someone adopts them, they'll get to finally have that great feeling of comfort in a healthy home and household of people to shower them with love.

When I'm older, I'll most likely adopt children and have some of my own. I just think it's better to save a child somewhere.

So I'm for it.
 
Adoption really is one of the greatest gifts you can give to people, both to the one who has to give up the child, and the child itself. It’s also a great gift to give yourself, though it should never be viewed as such.

There are so many children out there without homes, whether it’s because the mother and/or father are unfit, unwell or uncaring, there are so many kids that need a home. And by adopting a child you give it a second chance at life or at least certainly a better one than they’d likely have. You’re saving a life, maybe not in an obvious way like from a fire or a flood, but from what could be an endless string of foster homes or the streets.

That said, adopting can be a nightmare and I really wish the governments would do something to make the process so much simpler and easier. A mother could adopt out her child, then come back for it when she’s “ready for it”. This could rip a child from a loving home in which the child might only temporarily be with the mother who might toss them again later. Or the child could be severely emotionally damaged and cause huge grief to the parents causing them to give in and also abandon the child, only furthering the emotion damage. And there’s also the unknown medical history which could prove fatal for the child, devastating the family.

Governments should have a very efficient and effective screening process which minimizes the disruption and risks to all sides. Doing so will also not only reduce the possibility of problems down the road for the family and the child, but also reduce costs on the health care system for mental issues, custody battles and other costs associated with a troubled adoption.

Myself I’ve strongly endorsed adoption and have also often thought of it myself, but I’m currently not in the kind of situation I think a child needs and that to me is the most important of all—adopting not to satisfy some person need, but to give to the world by saving a life.
 
Adoption is something I will probably consider when I am ready to support a child. I love the idea of having a family, but hate the idea of going through pregnancy. Having my body change and going through the pain of giving birth terrifies me.

I also believe that having my own child at the expense of other children isn't necessary... There are so many children in the world who need parents, and they can be as much a part of my family as a child who's been inside me for 9 months. Family is not about genes; it's about the feelings you share for one another.

When it comes to the age of the child I'd like to adopt... that's tricky. I wouldn't mind adopting an older child if I knew that the child would be stable and wouldn't cause havoc in my home. An older child may have been through a traumatic experience, which could lead to severe problems down the road. They may abuse drugs, they may come to resent me, they may abuse me.

I know that's probably incredibly rare, but I'm sure it can happen... I also know that this is possible with a baby, and even a child you give birth to, but I'd rather reduce the risk. >_<

Speaking of abuse, it is sickening to think that people adopt children and then abuse them. :/ I don't really mind the regulations being in place because the safety of every child in this world is important. I know that biological parents don't have to go through the same checks, but that's because they have a right to give birth, whereas no one has a right to adopt. Adopting someone else's child is a privilege, and it's important that the biological parent know their child will be cared for properly.
 
My biggest concern if I ever have to adopt is, will I feel love for this child ? Yes I know that some parents can have postbirth depressions and then they dont feel connected to their child, but i think the chances of not loving the child is a lot higher if it's adopted. That special connection not being there, because it's "just" someone's child, that on paper, now is yours...
 
Amabdaan said:
My biggest concern if I ever have to adopt is, will I feel love for this child ? Yes I know that some parents can have postbirth depressions and then they dont feel connected to their child, but i think the chances of not loving the child is a lot higher if it's adopted. That special connection not being there, because it's "just" someone's child, that on paper, now is yours...
Click to expand...
You may not feel that instant connection, but I'm sure you'd develop a feeling of care for them and regard them as your son/daughter over time. Kids are so charismatic! :) I think that nurturing someone is rewarding, and you'd enjoy seeing the positive effects of your kindness.

I know it's quite a concern, and since I haven't had kids I can't speak knowledgeably, but I believe you can care for someone whom you're meant to protect and want to nurture just as much as a natural family member. :)
 
I think adoption is a beautiful thing. When someone's birth parents decide to give them up, whether for their own good or the child's, it's going to hurt the child either way. Maybe not physically, but there will always be the psychological pain.

In a lot of adoptions, the child will get a new start at life, in better circumstances and with a loving set of parents/parent. It's a nice thing, and while there are always those horrible people who will abuse the children they adopt, things usually end up better in the end for the child, giving them more love and opportunities in life.

Just because I don't ever plan to marry [at least not anytime in the next 15 years], therefore not ever becoming pregnant, adoption may be an option for me, so I've done a bit of research.

What I can't stand is the stories where a child is given away, and then when they're in their teens or twenties, their original parents come waltzing back into the picture. While I can understand maybe now wanting to meet their child, it's terrible when they want to entirely take them back. That child is probably happy with their adopted family and they probably don't want to leave.
 
I would probably only adopt if I found out I was at some point unable to concieve my own with my partner. I love the idea of adopting, however I also feel that being pregnant and having my own child would be amazing too. To be honest until now I haven't really thought about it xD
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top