Fleeting Sexual Influence?

Vice Nebulosa

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Right; I don't know whether this subject is about to broach much debate, but it seemed a tad . . . risqué for the general forums. :huh:

Anyway, my interest lies specifically in the presence of elements in my own writing compositions that, while not overtly sexual (nothing so blatant as intercourse, or even romance, really), are nonetheless colored by sensual descriptions. The issue can be writ larger into a statement about sex in general, but as I have no direct experience with the activity, I am not in a position to affirm or refute. This is where any of you with sexual experience become potential sources of wisdom.

I have written three short stories in the past two months or so, short-term projects designed to ease the tension of the latter half of the first university term, laden as it was with essays and exam preparations. Far more than my larger projects, I notice that sexual imagery and suggestion is present in the description of individual (invariably female) characters. It is fairly subtle, but it is there. And though it is fairly inevitable that my literary projects, at times, will lead me to more explicit regions of the sexual sphere, it is significant to note that, in the short stories, the sensual flavor was never planned out beforehand. This means that, for the most part, this aspect of the narratives evolved as they were being written, and were probably linked to whatever mood I happened to be in at the time.

Mostly we are talking about descriptions of female clothing and anatomy, though within this sphere the sexual organs themselves are rarely emphasized; eyes and hair are dominant themes. I might begin a paragraph describing the dress of the female lead, fully intending to describe the basic appearance and follow it up with analysis of textures, colors, scents, etc., envisioning a finished paragraph that, while long, begins and ends concisely. What I have found, though, is that this paragraph often gets itself rolling and sprawls into two paragraphs, and three, and I suddenly notice that I have spent upward of an hour thinking about the imagery. There is definitely a sense of anticipatory energy pervading the process, and it is undeniably fun to write, but its spontaneity makes me curious. Most likely this is simply a muted form of the adolescent puberty mindset manifesting itself again, but this time at an age and set of life circumstances (I am eighteen years old, away from home at university) where the possibility of actually performing the damn act, around which all this mystery spirals, is a real one.

Now the issue can be looked at more broadly. The question exists in my mind as to whether this invigorating literary bent towards the sensual (with its positives and negatives) will continue undisturbed after actually having sex, will intensify, or will ebb altogether. Now, physically, sex is neither unnatural nor special, and a part of me scoffs at the idea that this basic biological throb has such a sly influence over my creative process to begin with, let alone that my life should suddenly be altered in some palpable way after satisfying it. On the other hand, there is the fact that sex can be an indicator of other things -- intimacy, closeness of individual personalities as well as bodies -- and perhaps it is these that are the true destroyers of "virginity", whatever that is, rather than the actual orgasmic rush. This idea resonates well with me, as I have always found that the reality of the sexual act is an extremely disappointing metamorphosis of the anticipation that our society enjoys indoctrinating us with. Since it is not mere "T and A" that holds my attention, but rather interest in the quirks of the female mind (and feminine experience in general), as well as physical features like eyes, hair, body contours, etc., there may be something more than lust at work, and though I find the thought unpleasant, there may not.

So, the question being asked can be boiled down: does sexual illusion or suggestion exceed the reality of sex itself? Is it likely, do you think, that someone in my position will become disillusioned and less interested in the imagery involved in this aspect of biology after having acquired experience -- something to be used, but sparingly and deliberately in writing? Or is it really "that good," so as to maintain or even increase this tendency toward sexual allusion?
 
1. Stop with the "I'm a literary creature" facade. You could have actually written out your problem in half the length while using common language. I'm pretty sure you diverted a lot of responders on this forum simply by your choice of diction.

2. Solution: Go have sex. Then you'll know.

Why theoretically analyze something that you can test in hard reality? Unless I missed something, having sex will answer all of your questions.
 
Ireal, there is absolutely no excuse for to be treating people that way. Don't sit there and accuse others of using a 'facade' just because they may have a posting style that differs from others. If you're not going to contribute properly to threads and continue with your posting tone, you'll receive an infraction and your posts will be deleted without prior warning. This is your first and only warning.

My apologies for the intrusion here. Carry on.
 
Being that I'm not you, this response won't be spot on, or an exact science in it's own right, but I think that if you really are passionate about writing you won't change. It isn't "that good", nor is it degenerative. If you keep writing above sex in your mind you won't have to worry about objectifying the experience. You might get more excited about writing it after you've really done it but I doubt it will change you in the slightest.
 
Ireal kind of has a point in their second solution, which was 'go have sex'. It's really the only way you will know for yourself because asking people on a Final Fantasy forum, people who come from different backgrounds, different environments who've had different experiences with sex - in any form - are going to give you a world of different opinions based on their encounters.

I cannot answer your question based on my sexual experience (for the record, yes, I have had it). But why can I not offer my two cents? Because my experiences will have nothing in relation to you or yours. If or when you do have sex, it will more likely than not be a completely different experience.

Whether or not you've had sex may or may not change the presence or attributes of it in your writing. The only way you're going to find out is after you've had it.
 
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If you're worried about it though and your writing means enough to you it might be worth it to wait?
I'm in no way preaching abstinence to you, but if you really are afraid to lose the romantic points of your writing you might want to toy with it more before you go experimenting.
 
but rather interest in the quirks of the female mind (and feminine experience in general), as well as physical features like eyes, hair, body contours, etc., there may be something more than lust at work, and though I find the thought unpleasant, there may not.

Well I can tell you one thing, it's not hard for a man to become infatuated with a certain aspect in a woman. To write about it is nothing uncommon. A woman is a hell of a lot more complex in general of how they think and how they present themselves. For instance look how many magazines feature women a certain lustful way (even the sears catalog). Look how they accentuate the eyes of these girls with Photoshop and then reduce acne and such in order to make these women perfect in the eyes of the onlooker.

The worst thing possible, no offense to the ladies, is trying to get inside the head of a woman from a man's perspective. I have literally been driven to the gates of insanity due to the fact that I have come to the conclusion that.. MEN just DON'T THINK SIMILAR TO WOMEN!

Sorry for the caps, but it was used to imply something. Even after sex bud, you will not sit there and think differently. From a manly man's perspective women are a gift as far as looks, touch, and mentality. Some men can treat women as if they are just used for one or two or three things.. sex.. food.. cleaning. Others can see the inner beauty in some and actually get connected even without a single touch of the skin.

Note: I would assume the same for women, if they look beneath the surface for us fellas.

I'd suggest though that you don't linger on the subject for long though, because it shows infatuation rather than actual writing. It's okay to be descriptive in some areas, but if you are a guy, you could probably go on for hours about what you like in a certain girl. Just don't be the creepy dude, if you want to date.. don't be afraid to ask. From what I've read so far from you, is you are admirable rather than totally sexual.. so I assume if you are respectful then.. you will go far in college.

I can't expect this out of every dude, because like I said there are some guys out there in it for the quick and new sex.. womanizers love to prowl. Hince why STDs were established to eradicate these tards.


Ireal said:
2. Solution: Go have sex. Then you'll know.

I think I should ask the same to you, otherwise you would be ignoring posts like these and not trolling. Show some respect, ass.
 
Quite frankly, I'm not a writer, so my answers may be a bit misleading and possibly going in the wrong direction.

Personal experience with sex will absolutely answer any questions you have about sex in general, naturally. But for the purpose of writing a short story, I wouldn't say find a way to have sex before you finish the story. As much as I promote sex and feel that it's a wonderful feeling that 2 people can share, it is very easy to get wrapped up in wanting to have it for the wrong reasons. The word "virginity" is one that gets used in a negative light in most cases, and I personally don't find it fair to those who haven't had sex. In my high school days, you didn't want to have that label, and as a result, many would carry forth the act without realizing the possible dangers and mental stress that may come with having it.

Going by your post, as that is all I know about you, I would say you are a sexual person by nature. I don't mean that to sound derrogatory, but I think you have a passion for it, and therefore when it's expressed in writing, it tends to be very strong. But on that same token, not everyone will see what you wrote as being so vivid in imagination. The whole point to writing is to basically leave an open interpretation to those who read it to define how they imagine it to be. So with you making a strong imaginary image from your writing, I would say that's a very good thing as it will capture the interest of the reader, especially to those who may share the same sexual desire as yourself (or so I see you as having). I would say the original concluding paragraph you wrote would be the better one because of this, but as I said earlier, I'm not a writer, nor do I read leisurely, so I might be incorrect with my thoughts.
 
I think I should ask the same to you, otherwise you would be ignoring posts like these and not trolling. Show some respect, ass.

According to every response in this thread it seems like my advice was pretty spot on. Since it depends on the person, knowing how others may 'react' to sex isn't going to be any benefit compared to actually experiencing the real thing.

It's great being a mod isn't it. After I was already chastised by another mod for my previous comment, you come in and say that I am a troll thus can't get laid (lol?) and call me an ass. Well, you're a dick too so congrats.

Sorry for the digression.
 
Actually I'd like to point out something here, I actually wasn't a mod when I posted this remark earlier. I will say this though... You came off snarky, you came off rude, you came off as inconsiderately blunt my friend. If you were posting something personal intriguing to yourself, would you want some random person to just throw a comment like this at you, without the slightest know how of who you are?

That's what I'm getting at. I wouldn't have cared if you actually took time to explain your comments. I mean Literary Facade is one thing to say, but I don't think having sex would solve all the problems. That's a very narrow minded approach in my opinion.
 
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We're getting a little off topic here. I agree with Shu, having sex might actually cause more problems. Like Shu said, again, on the first page, it isn't hard to become infatuated with women. Not just in sexual terms but it may twist your art into something more "risque" than you ever imagined before the fact.

That's not really what you're asking though. In the end I have to say it all boils down to one simple statement. Sex is sex.
Nothing more. It's not some awe-inspiring alternate state of conscious. You're still the same person you were before, just more experienced. My opinion is that it has to do with who you are. If you're an innocent person you'll be just fine, if you're a glutton things may not turn out the best.

You haven't posted back in quite some time so I'm not sure if we should stop trying to help or not. Seems to me though that were just causing you trouble.

I probably shouldn't be posting this >_>
 
Precisely. You are who you are. I don't see sex entirely changing your style of writing. I mean take for instance if you did have it. Rereading Ireal's post again, it didn't come off so bad this time (so my apologies to you Ireal, it was more directed towards the literary facade part you put in point 1 [ruined your point 2 for me]).

Just don't make the same mistake as most people and put it on a pedastal your whole life.

(I am eighteen years old, away from home at university) where the possibility of actually performing the damn act, around which all this mystery spirals, is a real one.

Not ashamed to say I lost mine around 18 as well bud. So don't think you are a 40 year old virgin. You got time.. get out and mingle and don't just throw it away =P. Sounds easy right?
 
As much as I want to go on a huge rant on how much of an idiot Ireal is... I'll respectfully refrain from doing so.

So, the question being asked can be boiled down: does sexual illusion or suggestion exceed the reality of sex itself?

I believe so. Think of it this way, there is this smoking hot girl sitting on the beach with a pop-sickle and is doing something sexually suggestive. The natural male reaction would be to imagine something else going on. Now lets say that male got up the nerve to get to know her to the point where they actually preform that act. He could walk away vastly disappointed. It didn't at all meet his expections, and thus it exceeded the reality of sex.

Now, I do not believe a simple solution is to go out and have sex with the first thing you see. In order to "test" what you're trying to figure out, you would have to sit down and watch someone do something sexually suggestive then go out and have sex with said person and preform the suggested act. That would be the only way to truly"test" it.

In other words, don't listen to Ireal, he's only trying his best to be a forum troll. :D

Is it likely, do you think, that someone in my position will become disillusioned and less interested in the imagery involved in this aspect of biology after having acquired experience -- something to be used, but sparingly and deliberately in writing?

That would depend on what type of person you are. If you develop a relationship with said person, it could actually lead to you gaining more thought on the subject at hand. However, if you become a sex starved sex fiend that likes to hit and quit it, I think you'll find that you no longer care about the query.

Or is it really "that good," so as to maintain or even increase this tendency toward sexual allusion?

It can be. However, I suggest if that ever happens that you keep her. :mokken:
 
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