Waltz Noctis

Braveheart

Lone Wolf
Joined
Sep 30, 2009
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Location
Balamb Garden
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ORPG/URPG/RPB - ORPG

Name – Waltz Noctis

Title – Master of Dimensions

Alignment – Unknown

Race – Human

Gender – Male

Age – 23

Appearance
Waltz has a long hair, black like a night that shine in the light. He has black eyes that gives mysterious look to other people. Mystery and calm can be seen in his eyes, but even something that you can be afraid of. He has black earring on his left ear that makes him good looking. He is wearing a white mask that protects half of his face, only his right side of the face. His wearing a black shining armor that protects his body. Armguards that looks like are made from the dragon's claws that shining in the dark. It has claws where the fingers are. On his chest is a pierced armor. It looks like that he was pierced in battle, it's sized is a size of sword's edge. He is wearing a black shining legguards that protects his legs from the attacks. On his feet he is wearing black boots that shine like they are made from black crystals. He looks magnificent and when he is standing in the light, his armor is shining like it's made from the shining black crystals.


Armour Waltz is wearing black shining armor that is hard to pierce. It can protect him from many attacks as well it repels the arrows. Black armguards and legguards. He is wearing black boots made from black crystals. He always wears armor.

PersonalityWaltz is calm and mysterious. He is not a man that you can trust. Of his mysterious personality, many people are afraid of him. Sometimes he is arrogant, he don't care for anything or anyone. He hasn't got any friends, he is always alone. He is a lone wolf. He is searching for his goals without anyone's help or aid. He don't trusts anyone and he always ignoring people around him. His goals are always are unknown to everyone and he always doing everything secretly. Around friends Waltz doesn't talk much. He is quiet and calm, ignoring everybody else. When Waltz is alone he is quiet and calm, a mysterious person. He will stand in everybody's way evn if he knows that he cannot win. He doesn't care for the size or might of his opponent. He only cares to win. If someone do someting to him, but apologise after that he will be angry, but had calm look on his face. He will just pass by. He will never kill innocent persons, he will kill only those that stands in his way or the ones that insulted him. He fights without mercy, so all those who oppose him doesn't get any mercy. He doesn't have any mercy to the bandits and the like. He is trying to not kill aperson that attacks him if he knows him. If he kill him in self defence that means that he didn't have any other option.

First Impression – At first look he brings mystery and calm, but somehow you are afraid of him. The black shining armor and the giant broad sword that is carrying brings fear. His calm look on his face and the eyes that shows emptiness like he has no feelings or emotions. Not so many people approach him because of his look. No one knows what he thinks, so many people thinks that he will attack them without any reason.

Strength – He is very strong. He is average muscled but he has the strenght to lift a giant Broadsword with only one arm. When he is angry his strenght increase as he can wield a giant broad sword without too much trouble.

Speed – He is really fast and can dodge many attacks. His attacks aren't so fast but he can runs fast so he with speed he have the advantage before the strenght.

Vitality – He can takes attacks because of his tough armor. Shining crystals are protecting the armor in the first place, so if his shining crystals are being destroyed, he won't be able to take many attacks. Magic can increase the damage of his shining crystals.

Stamina- He has a lot of energy and he can runs a lot. He can last in the battle for some time without getting too much tired. After some time of running and fighting he will get tired. He can run for several minutes in his top speed and then he will get tired and his attacks will get weaker.

Reflexes – He has good reflexes and can dodge many attacks.

Fighting Style – When he is fighting with his Broad Sword he is fighing with strenght.When he is fighting with his spear his is fighting with speed and technique.

Weapons
He is wielding a giant Broad Sword that can pierce anything. Handle is made from black shining crystals. Sword's edge is made from the blacks crystals as well. Sword is looking mysterious as it has some mysterious power. Waltz gathering energy from the battles in order to unleash it's hidden power. Waltz is calling a sword Deathbringer. It's 5 to 6 feet long, with a single-edged, enormously wide blade.

His second weapon is a spear, made from dark crystals to that cannot broken. Spear is long and has a long range. Spear's edge is sharp and can pierce almost everything. Waltz carrying it in one arm but when he is carrying it with two arms, spear's power became even more powerful and it became even more faster and harder to dodge it. Waltz is calling a spear Odin's Anger. It can pierce almost every armor, but armors made from white shining crystals he cannot pierce.


Abilities
Dimensions Controling- Waltz can control dimensions. He can use his powers to create dimensional portals that can teleport him somewhere else or he can increase his speed. It drains his energy a lot. Portals are black, made from shadows and darkness. Waltz can send shadow waves that if hit his opponent, he can send it to another dimension. Waltz using portals for his defence, too. With them he can absorb attacks and send them to another dimension. But the more he controls the portals, he is energy will be drained more.


Divine- Divine is Waltz's true power. He doesn't use it very often. He can transform in the angel.


Name: Yggdrasil


Aligment: Unknown


Race: Angel


Gender: Male


Age: 23


Appearance: He has long blond hair and blue eyes. His hair shine across the light as it looks magnificent. He is wearing a white outfitt. On his back he has a white wings. He is wearing a white boots on his feet. And the whole his outfitt is made from white shining crystals.

Armor: He doesn't wear armor. He is only wearing a white outfitt.


Personality: He is calm and mysterious like in his previous form, but he is much arrogant than before. He thinks that he is the ultimate perfection and that he is a superior being. He doesn't trust anyone and he only thinks what is the best for him. He is selfish and arrogant. He thinks that no one is stronger than him and that he is the world's perfection. He doesn't have any friends. He doesn't help anyone and he only trust to himself.


First Impression: At first look he brings calm and serenity, but he doesn't. Everyone thinks that he is here to help, but he isn't. He brings mystery as no one knows who he is. Look on his face gives fear to everyone. Like before he has eyes that shows emptiness, but just this time arrogance as well.

Strenght: He is lot weaker than in his previous form, but his attacks are still powerful.

Speed: He is lot faster than before and his attack are more faster, but his sttack power decrease

Reflexes: He has a lot better reflexes than before and it's hard to hit. He can fly as well so he can dodge the attacks easier but he can't dodge the arrows so easily.

Vitality: He can't take so much attacks as before, but he can't take more magic attacks.

Stamina: He has lots of energy and he can't be tired so fast.

Fighting Style: He fights with speed and techinique. He doesn't fight with strenght so much as with speed. His attacks are fast but the strenght of the attacks is weaker. He is trying to land many attacks are possible in the short amount of time.

Weapons: His weapon is sword, the same size of Deathbringer, but thzis sword is made from white shining crystals. It has white wing on the handle. It has a mysterious power, too and Yggdrasil can absorb the power that he gathered from Deathbringer. He is calling the sword Shattered Dream.


Abilities: Holy Judgement- He can create a thousand of powerful Light Rays that appears from the sky. If he gathered enough power from the battles and if he combined them with Shattered Dream he can create a spirit bomb that will destroy everything in it's path. The spirit bomb is large several feets and it's exploding when it touch something or someone. It's moving in a straight line. He had only one weakness. If his sword being destroyed, spirit bomb will stopped as he will lose almost all of his powers.


Waltz- Magic- Speed Increase- Even without his portals he can increase his speed for some time making him harder to hit, as well he can move faster so he can dodge many attacks. He can triple his speed and it's last for three minutes. His energy is drained, but not very much.

Yggdrasil- Magic- Divine- He can heal himself or his allies. The shining light appeared as it heals. He can heal himself or others for an about half a minute. He restore all of his health, but his energy is drained a lot.


Other Skills

History – Little is known about Waltz, only it's known that he was once a royal knight from kingdom that was destroyed. The rumors says that he betrayed his lord and that he killed him and hundred of imperial guards that were protecting his lord. He defeated them all by himself. After he dissapeared his kingdom was destroyed. No one knows why he defeated his own lord. Some says that he has a powers of an angels and that he wish to destroy the world.


Yggdrasil- Waltz's second form. He is an angel that has his goals unknown to everyone. After he betrayed his kingdom, some says that saw a white angel flying in the night. Some says that maybe that is Waltz. It is unknown even to Waltz his history, because he doesn't remember why he is an angel and where he belongs.
 
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MOD EDIT:: I have no idea how this escaped notice previously, but....

Firstly, you are not an RP Moderator. It is not your place to look over bios on the site. If a person asks you to look over their bio, you do so outside the site or via PM. Approval and critique on-site is the sole responsibility of the RP Moderators of FFF.

Secondly, your critique is overly negative and mean-spirited. Saying “unacceptable“, “The hell?”, and asking if English is someone’s “second language” in the manner you posed the question is wildly inappropriate.

You would do well not to repeat this action in the future.
 
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In general, this bio is going to need a lot more expansion before it can be approved for RPBs.

Attire – He is wearing black shining armor. Black armguards and black legguards. He is wearing black boots made from black crystals.

That can be put under Armor to avoid redundancy.

Also, does he only wear armor? Does he ever take the armor off? If so, what does he wear when not armor-clad?

Personality – Waltz is calm and mysterious. He is not a man that you can trust. Of his mysterious personality, many people are afraid of him. Sometimes he is arrogant, he don't care for anything or anyone. He hasn't got any friends, he is always alone. He is a lone wolf. He is searching for his goals without anyone's help or aid. He don't trusts anyone and he always ignoring people around him. His goals are always are unknown to everyone and he always doing everything secretly.

Need more expansion here. Here are some questions to consider about your character's personality:
-How is your character around friends?
-How is you character if alone and bored?
-How is he if insulted by someone larger than himself?
-if someone accidentally trips and spills a mug of water on you char, but apologizes after, how does your char react?
-What look does your char have on the following:
|-Killing the innocent.
|-Killing evildoers (bandits and the like).
|-Killing in self defense regardless on the person.

First Impression – At first look he brings mystery and calm, but somehow you are afraid of him.

Need more expansion. Why are we afraid of him? What makes him seem so mysterious and calm? Would a stranger approach him? Why or why not?

Strength – He is very strong. He is average muscled but he has the strenght to lift a giant Broadsword with only one arm.

Speed – He is really fast and can dodge many attacks.


Endurance – He can takes attacks because of his tough armor.

Reflexes – He has good reflexes and can dodge many attacks

Fighting Style – When he is fighting with his Broad Sword he is fighing with strenght. When he is fighting with his spear his is fighting with speed and technique.

All of these need to be expanded upon. I encourage you to look at the Bio Format thread and answer the questions in the Bio Format, as well as the additional info added by Red Fox.

Also, while you were away, the Endurance tab was removed in favor of a Vitality tab and a Stamina tab.

He is wielding a giant Broad Sword that can pierce anything. Handle is made from black shining crystals. Sword's edge is made from the blacks crystals as well. Sword is looking mysterious as it has some mysterious power. Waltz is calling a sword Nebilim.

Is the power known to Waltz? How long is the blade?

Spear's edge is sharp and can pierce almost everything.

What are its limits specifically? What can and can't it pierce?

Dimensions Controling- Waltz can control dimensions. He can use his powers to create dimensional portals that can teleport him somewhere else or he can send dimenisonal portal towards his opponent and if dimensional portal touches his opponent, he can send him in another dimension. He can increase his speed with the dimensional speed or he can slow his opponent.

We need to know how much energy drain this ability has. Also, you can't specifically state that a dimensional portal will send another character to a different dimension, or that it will slow them down, as that would be considered God-Moding. Thirdly, we need to know how the portal is created and what it looks like.


A summon essentially needs its own mini-bio within the main bio with virtually all the same tabs.

Magic – Thunder- Waltz can use Thunder Element
Dark- Waltz can use Dark Element

For both of these, we need much, much more information. First and foremost though, FF-based spell names are not allowed. Beyond that, we need energy drain, spell effects, cast time, cast method, damage produced, recovery times, and so on and so forth.


Normally I don't make too much of a fuss about a character's History, but 4 lines is on the sparse side. Expand on your character. Tell us about him. Pump as much information into this section as you can.
 
Stamina- He has a lot of energy and he can runs a lot.

Need a bit more specificity here. How much is "a lot"? That can vary from person to person. How long can he last in battle? How long can he run at top speed before needing to rest?

Fighting Style: He fights with speed and techinique. He doesn't fight with strenght so much as with speed.

Need more in terms of how he actually attacks his opponent. Does he try to overwhlem them with strength? Or does he try to duck and weave while landing a blow here and there? Is there a "real world" fighting style that demonstrates how he fights?

It can pierce almost every armor.

What type of armor can it not pierce?

he can create a spirit bomb that will destroy everything in it's path.

How big is the bomb? Does it explode like a bomb, expanding outward? Or is it more like a concentrated ray, moving in a straight line?

can increase his speed for some time

Increase by how much? And for how long? And how much energy does this drain?

He can heal himself or his allies.

For how much? And how much energy does this drain?
 
Yggdrasil- Magic- Divine- He can heal himself or his allies. The shining light appeared as it heals. He can heal himself or others for an about half a minute. His energy is drained a lot.

Just need to know how much health is healed by this ability, then he'll be good to go.
 
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Moved to Approved section.
 
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