Kids Growing up too Fast?

July 5, 2008, 9:51 PM

I suspect this might still be a problem now, but back when I was in grade 3, the kids around me knew some really strange sex terms. They talked about their "crushes", they laughed at me when I said "I did it!" in a non sexual way, and I guess I wouldn't be surprised if they went out on dates. That might be more normal if they were closer to grade 7 and high school, but no; these kids were only eight.

Thanks to them, I lost my childhood innocence.

But children who are only eight aren't anywhere near puberty, and shouldn't be thinking about these things. Instead of worrying about adult responsibilities and thinking that knowing these sex jokes and having "crushes" makes them more mature, I personally think they should just enjoy being kids and do what normal eight year olds do. Which would simply be to enjoy hanging out with friends, not worrying about having boyfriends or girlfriends, playing at some playground, joining summer camps, playing Legoes, playing board games, or even video games.

Your childhood stories or your views on this are appreciated.

July 5, 2008, 10:20 PM

I completely agree with you. I've lost count to how many times I've seen and heard 2nd and 3rd graders say to their friends, "Your boyfriend's looking for you" and then hear giggles right after. And then a few months ago, my 11-year-old sister announced that she had just broken up with her 8 or 9 year-old boyfriend.

Now that really shocked us. I really don't wanna hear about my siblings kissing other kids and talk about their crushes all day long, but alas, it happens alright.

But of course, this doesn't really surprise me anymore. I was aware that kids are indeed growing up too fast when I was only 6 years old, but I'd rather not get into my personal experiences.

Anyway, it's really only to be expected too because of the media. They see and hear things everyday, especially from their peers.

July 5, 2008, 10:30 PM

I agree wholeheartedly. Kids do seem to be "growing up" too quickly, beyond their level of maturity and comprehension. An eight year-old needn't know of sex and obscenities, nor will they be mature enough to make their own decisions for themselves for another decade.

Yes, I was exposed to expletives myself by other kids, maybe not so much in primary school, but definitely in secondary. I was, however, more mature and responsible than others most of the time, and didn't usually resort to using such words. Many children think that such words will make them all mature, but that is untrue. They are swear words, which should not be used lightly.

Children can't act responsibly and reasonably most of the time. You expose them to things, they pick them up, even if they don't understand them. In fact, most kids understand very little. They are vulnerable, and must be protected against such exposure. Relationships? Eight is far too young for that. Okay, immature children have had playful "relationships" throughout all of history. Not a new thing, and no harm from come from it, really. It gives them some experience in dealing with their emotions.
I think this includes young teenagers, up to the age of fifteen at the very least. Even most 17-18 year-olds are immature, naive, and lack good judgement. However, they are usually grown up enough to understand what sex and obscenities mean, and won't be nearly as gullible.

Hah, irony, as I am seventeen myself.

July 5, 2008, 10:34 PM

Well, I wouldn't mind it if they were in high school--they are going through puberty and experience lots of hormonal changes. Nonetheless, you're right about throwing around sex terms does not equate maturity. And they do have sex ed when you're in grade 7 or something, so it's impossible not to know what it is--just that before puberty, you'll probably say it's disgusting, and then after, you accept it, but what you choose to do with that knowledge is what constitutes to maturity.

But when you're in grade 3, then that's the problem--you're not supposed to know about it or care about it. I guess some people are just better at looking for their parents' porn stash than others.

July 5, 2008, 10:44 PM

I agree completely. I remember, I was in fifth grade, seeing 10 year old kids talking about masturbation and porn. And me, being, y'know, normal, I found them to be idiots. And who here's seen the movie good luck chuck? now, that movie was not that good, but the first scene showed 8,9,10 year old kids discussing sex, that they learned about from listening to adults talking. That scene had a bit of truth, since kids might be talking about crushes and sex and stuff like that so young by hearing relatives or from tv.

July 5, 2008, 10:49 PM

I noticed this as well when walking through a store and heard some 10 or 11 year olds cursing like it's no problem. It made me really think of what was really going on with society. But as I say this, I remember being 9 and, for some reason, I always thought about sex O_O. I find it weird that at that age I'd be thinking of these things. One factor could be older siblings talking about these things...I grew up with two older brothers, so some more mature things were heard/seen. That's my theory, at least.

July 5, 2008, 10:52 PM

Fair enough. Another thing that bugs me is how some people think that minors can make their own important decisions. Most can't, really. Children don't have a sophisticated view or any experience to help them make critical decisions. A child's mind is simple and inexperienced. You can hardly expect most 16 year-olds to be able to make the right decisions about their own future. They might have some motivation to live whatever dreams they might have, but is it really what they're built to do?
Most childhood dreams shatter when people learn that they just aren't cut out to be sky pirates or blitzballs.

July 5, 2008, 11:18 PM

Well, if you learned about sex when you were 8 or 9 and aren't completely messed up, then I guess it can't be that bad, can it?

There is nothing wrong with a young child being curious about what sex is. It's natural. Sex is a part of who we are and how we make more of us. Children are reminders of reproduction, so in some ways associated with sex themselves. Why shouldn't a child want to know why some woman's belly is swollen or why a boy is anatomically different from his sister?

Sex itself isn't a bad thing. What is bad is when children that are too young to understand all the repercussions are taught to market themselves sexually. I don't think Bratz dolls or things like that are a good thing because they do not teach responsible ways of dealing with sexuality. I think if a child is curious they should know what sex is and how it affects people's behavior so they understand how to make healthy decisions. If you meet a child that is talking about having sex when they are far too young, instead of telling them to just be quiet or to think about butterflies and horses, it might be better to try to teach them why that wouldn't be a good decision for them right now.

I am working with kids this summer (ages 5-13), and honestly what scares me more is not kids talking about their boyfriends or their new bra's or getting married, but little boys knowing the names of tons of different kinds of guns and talking about GTA. I don't think guns or GTA are inherently evil, I just think that game shouldn't be played y kids who aren't old enough to understand the tongue in cheek themes of the story.

July 5, 2008, 11:25 PM

It's not so much learning about sex as it is talking about it all the time, and believing that talking about sex or having a boyfriend/girlfriend makes you more mature--it doesn't. Having childhood friends and playing with them when you're only eight is fine--that's perfectly normal. But having a boyfriend/girlfriend or at least considering a friend as such at that age is a little unusual. It's almost like they think society won't accept them if they don't have one, or that people won't treat them seriously if they don't have one. Or how young girls buy all these clothes that were meant for teens (and now they're making it worse anyways) because they think people won't treat them seriously unless they look older.

What's wrong with wanting a normal childhood of innocence and free from adult responsibility? It's the only time where you'll actually be allowed to have fun and not worry about the world; you'll eventually have to grow up and take on adult responsibility, but why worry about that when you're at an age where you're not going to be able to deal with it anyways? You can't pretend you can deal with it by wearing clothes older people wear or by having a date because older people have them.