I'm so sad it's painful. - Page 2

October 14, 2008, 3:50 PM

Although it might be awkward to say, but death somehow gives purpose and meaning to life, however; this does not mean to make the loss less painful nor bearable. In life, we must understand that infinity is not, unfortunately, tied to our existence and as mortal creatures we will, one way or another, meet our definitive end. It does not actually matters how we are born or how we die, the only thing that matters is what we do in between. The achievements we had or might have, the pain and sorrow we had endured and that we will continue to bear, and the strength we will need to recur to in order to overcome such trials.

I have already had losses already, but in each case I was prepared. I know there is no successful way to be fully prepared against the loss of a loved one, but I still try. It might sound weird as well, but I try not to grow to attached to anyone in order to make it hurt less when they pass away. I feel, that if I ever pass away anytime soon, I would not like anyone grieving for me. I do not recommend you to do this, for the cost is high because it means to be somehow "alone".

Just try to remember not why he died. Do waste time trying to find the "what", the "how, neither the "when" or the "why". Try to remember for what he lived, and what he has done for you. Try to always bear in mind how important he was in your life. Believe me, in the memories of our loved ones is the only way to obtain "immortality".

October 15, 2008, 10:40 PM

I know how you feel... My dad died in a murder-suicide this year, only a week before his birthday... I felt the same way that you do, but you'll get through this. You have family and friends to get you through this. So get through this, k? Its okay to brood, but don't let it ruin your life.

October 21, 2008, 2:28 PM

I know how you feel i lost an aunt i never knew my grandpa on my father's side and my aunt i felt so horrible but the thing that i tried was to think that now they are in a better place one without pain and suffering and that they are always in my heart no matter what.

October 25, 2008, 5:01 AM

Yes, as cliche as it is, time really does heal all wounds. It really does lessen the pain. Over time, you'll start enjoying the things you love again. You'll feel less physical and mental pain. You'll eventually be able to think of your father, and instead of crying and feeling the most unbearable pain imaginable, you'll be reminded of all the good things you two shared together. The things you enjoyed about him, and the times you laughed with one another.

Don't push yourself to study, or do the things you love. Don't expect anything either. It's unfair to expect yourself to start feeling better within x amount of time. It's unfair to get mad or annoyed with yourself, or your loss of interest in the things you love. And yes, you still love them, but you're grieving, and that exceeds any feeling at the moment.

Don't feel worried if you're coping with this pain in a different way than everybody else. And don't worry if you're not coping as well as anyone wants you to. Don't worry if you feel like you're not going to cope, never going to enjoy things again, or smile again. It's unfair to yourself.

I'm sorry to hear you're having to deal with such a tremendous loss.

Being with your family and friends will help. You will be able to support one another. As previously mentioned by Kasabian, I would also stay away from the anti-depressants. From personal experience, I fully agree with him. They take away the pain, all the negative, drowning feelings, but in turn, replace them with a lack of feeling.

October 29, 2008, 1:45 PM

One thing to not do when you have lost someone close to you.
Dont take those meds because it wont help i just makes it worse trust me when my grandpa died i did that and it just made me horrible just dont let it ruin your life and if you are still in school talk to a consleur and he?she will help.

October 29, 2008, 7:43 PM

It's something we will all have to experience. I do not look forward to the day. I love both of my parents completely. But life is life. Your pain of loss is how we deal with these things. Let it run it's course. Time is the only healing factor in these situations that I can see.

I am sorry
I won't even pretend to know how you feel since one does not know until they go through it.

Peace
Blitz

**MY YOUT00B** · October 31, 2008, 2:20 AM

Quote:

One thing to not do when you have lost someone close to you.
Dont take those meds because it wont help i just makes it worse trust me when my grandpa died i did that and it just made me horrible just dont let it ruin your life and if you are still in school talk to a consleur and he?she will help.

Many people with depression have benefited from medication (commonly antidepressants and antipsychotics). Certain people react badly to certain brands of these meds, but psychiatrists (most of them, anyway; some are not trustworthy; one of my psychiatrists was at fault with my meds, which caused me to be hospitalized...) know what they're doing and whether or not the brand/dose/whatever needs to be changed. Short-term meds such as Alprazolam (or Xanax) are bad, though, and are comparable to the flat-on-your-ass-later effects of alchohol. They CAN be beneficial, but the real issue that lies behind them that they're hard to use properly.

Therapy and in-school-therapy are quite beneficial, yes. They know more about what to tell you in order to help you than most people... You might be coming down with depression, which is perfectly normal, considering that someone so dear to you has died. I've experienced depression (and hospitalization), but it wasn't caused by a death, so I honestly don't know what advice I can give you other than this. Even if you don't have or develop severe depression, therapy is the way to go, in my opinion (although, some therapists are quite air-headed and unhelpful, unfortunatly..). People have different ways of coping, and one of the main purposes of therapy is for the therapist to help you develop coping skills. But some people manage to get out of it themselves (often along with other family members and friends) after time passes.

November 1, 2008, 3:09 AM

As a friend of mine once said, "Life is too short to waste it worrying about death, Live for the moment, Live for now, Live life to its fullest"

everyone at some time or another loses someone close, but its how we choose to remember that person that counts, would that person want you to suffer in silence? would they want you to spend a large portion of your life grieving and getting over there death? no they would want you to live for the day and remember them through your actions and through the good times you shared...

Everyone has the right to grieve a loss, but dont keep yourself in that hole for too long, I'm a firm believer in spirits and that they will be watching over you...Make them proud!