Thinking about dieing again .

March 14, 2008, 5:58 PM

Thinking about dieing again . The constant burden of new ideas, inventions and theories is just too much for me. I am overwhelmed. I can not stop creating and hypthoziing and discovering . I can not stop anymore. Every second or every other is set out to be significant and scraping the floor of new horizons , as my brain violently soars into the sky for a clearer view. I can not stop the thinking , and the inventing and the creative thought. I CANT STOP IT . Im going mad, I have new graphs I make models of ideas, and I keep trying and trying to expand and expand. Every statement is a new realization or discovery . Or adds to something already being discovered or realized.

I am not a puppet, I am not social, I am a lone wolf who howls but only in silence. I can not stop the metaphors , some do not even work , I can not stop the creative thinking and inventing. My mind is in continuous torture and looking for significant discovery. Every thought is meant to be deep and every second is deeper than it should be.

No one understands me anymore, or comprehends what I am trying to do but it can always be made sense of. I am so lost and it wont stop it keeps getting more and more significant .

DAMN THE IMBALANCE . There is more thought than there is something of thought that is not worth mentioning or revealing. Continuous thought thought thought !

Nothing is anymore something is always something else. Nothing every is anymore ! Always changing always becoming something greater! I cant take it anymore ! I CANT TAKE IT!

Im afraid that all my ideas will be abused or misused I am afraid to live because my concept of "life" "out there" Is continuously changing and draws in those of opposite thought ! Im afraid they will abuse what I have now and I will learn even too much more from that !

Once I am obsorbed into my studies I become addicted by something far more brilliant than all my studies.

Why discover when most people say the world will end soon anyways ?It can not be turned off and it is constant . I have nothing to prove these ideas just come at the click of a finger . I can not help it , its ZOOM IDEA ZOOM IDEA!!! ZOOM ZOOOM ZOOOOM!!!!

I know my intentions for the world are good but at the same time I dont trust the world. They will abuse me and my ideas. I live in constant fear of changing , developing .

I could do so much more though, the power . Well I do not know how much power I have. If you feel me to be insane perhaps the notion of having power that I do not have would be part of that. I speculate that I do have some sort of ...presence of power within if you will.

I cant take it anymore, all my teachers love me, respect me, my family does not though, so there is a nice balance. Everyone tells me I have a great voice, ideas in "life" but I cant take it ! I want to take it, I will take it longer but it is hard . So very hard . I know for a fact I could answer everything I said clearly and logically but that just makes it worse.

March 14, 2008, 8:25 PM

You sound like you're bipolar. I think it's arrogant to assume that no one understands you. That's usually something I hear fifteen year old emos yelling. It's also arrogant to assume that the world would use/need-- never mind abuse-- your brilliant ideas, whatever they may be.

To be quite honest, I don't understand the point of this post. It sounds more like a strange, made-at-four-in-the-morning livejournal entry. Maybe you should get a job to keep you occupied?

March 14, 2008, 9:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erythritol

You sound like you're bipolar. I think it's arrogant to assume that no one understands you. That's usually something I hear fifteen year old emos yelling. It's also arrogant to assume that the world would use/need-- never mind abuse-- your brilliant ideas, whatever they may be.

i lol'd

perhaps you suffer from delusions of grandeur?
as im sure what you have thought of have been thought of before.

and considering one of your other ideas was 'do guns control us?' i am skeptical about the so called genius of your ideas.

If they are so great why dont you get them published?

March 14, 2008, 9:12 PM

I suggest meat grinder. Does the job AND redecorates for the next occupants.

March 14, 2008, 10:09 PM

No I do not think I am grand ,I just think I think more than most people about thinking about thinking about things.

Why is everyone always drunk or hung over here? I never claimed to be a genius I just have an over active mind in my opinion.

March 14, 2008, 10:31 PM

You think too much about others, I don't know why you care what kind of perspective the world has on you and its inhabitance. People can only abuse you if you let them under your skin.

If you have ideas, voice them. But you give people far too much credit. Spend less time worrying about what others think.

But to be honest mate, a lot of this is rambling, but I get your point. Spent a little too much time trying to come off more poetic kind of ruined what you were trying to pass along. Next time just write what you want to say, spend less time trying to force something

.

March 14, 2008, 10:40 PM

The problem is that you think too much? Learn not to give a shit about life, and that soon goes. Kill yourself off with a bit of alcohol and you'll be fine. Not everything has to be rationalised.

March 14, 2008, 10:50 PM

If your worried about thinking too much, turn on the TV, watch Disney channel, and kill 50% of your brain cells.

If that doesn't work, beat your head against a brick wall.

OK, you sound like your making yourself bigger than other people because you think. Wow, I do that too, I must be able to move things with my mind...

OK, if your worried the world will abuse your "great" ideas, don't publish them

March 14, 2008, 11:00 PM

Guys, cut the crap. Though it's not a rule to be nice, it's not very ethical to let you guys run wild and be as rude as you're being to each other.

Cease this at once.

March 14, 2008, 11:00 PM

Hmmm. You think deeply and broadly, yes. I think in that way too, I must admit. And I have a rare insight into things as well. So I understand that.

From your debate posts, well they're unique, but appear to be misguided. You also seem a bit grandiose in your ways, true. A defence mechanism, perhaps.

You can't come to grips with the world as you see it, perhaps? Ask yourself what you want, think hard on it, if that's how you work.