FFGuy's tales of FFF rp bio - Page 2

September 25, 2007, 7:29 PM

May I step in for a moment?

Now aside from my initial complaint about the orgasm of red before me, (bear with me folks, i've got really sensitve eyes) there are a lot of things that completely jumped out at me like an angered badger.

I thinks that i'll systematcially say a couple of things about your bios. I'm not going to be hard on you at all, as I really respect and admire your abundance of creative energy.

Bio #1:

You can do way better with the name. Things would just get plain damned awkward if you and every other character in whatever RP or bio you do have to refer to you by your username. Something either fitting for the setting, or just plain damned wierd will suffice, thank you kindly.

"Equipment:SAA(single action army which can be spinned to deflect bullets and short swords and has bullets which can destroy titanium it is also able to shoot out the magic i can use in a more concentrated form but is slower and can be avoided easier) and dragon katana (dragon in flame design down the blade and sets an enemy on fire when it makes contact)"

I read through this three times, and not once was I able to find out what kind of gun your character uses. Granted your character's bio is born centuries after the events of FFIX, but it still couldn't hurt to add some description. We need to get a clear view in our heads of what you character uses as a weapon. The dragon blade (which could still use a bit more description) is dangerously close to god-modding. The fact that it immolates people upon contact would make it entirely unfair for anyone you'd RP against.

Your appearance needs an ass-load of decription as well. Simply put:

"Appearance:black cloth shirt and trousers, black boots with metal blades along the boots, long hair(halfway down back), 6ft in height, jewel encrusted left eye"

...is not going to cut it. Where does he keep his weaponry? What about his physique? Skin color? Hair color? Hair style? Complexion? What about any features of note, such as scars? Race? Weight? The clothing you attire your character could use a bit more description too.

The spells/abilities list you have could use a bit more description. It seemes like you ripped the higer-end spell from final fantasy and didn't even put too much description there.

For another thing, it seems that you've completely thrown puntucation out of the window. If you were to copy and paste this to microsot word, there'd be an exxplosion of red. Honestly, you've got a ton of run-on sentences and grammatical tradgedies going on here. Periods are used to ends sentences. They can help you in seperating one though and subject from another. But you've got like only one period in your entire characters history! You know that you're supposed to capitallize the first letter of a sentence right? It kind of helps, along with periods. So please, for the love of god, remember to perios to seperate you sentences!

The last thing that I have to say about grammar and punctuation is that you're supposed to use quotaint marks when someone says something, it makes things easier on we, the reader.

Oh, and you're missing a section on personality and, first impression. First impression being how another character would see your character after meeting him for the first time.

I didn't mean or inted to be too hard on you. So i'll tell you this: if you pratice, and work on filling out your character sheets right (and a little more creativity couldn't hurt any of us right?), you could be be a god of the Rp forums. I can't wait to battle you some time!

September 25, 2007, 7:32 PM

It has been a while since I made these so I will go through them and correct them where necessary when I have enough free time (hopefully tomorrow)

September 26, 2007, 2:19 AM

Good, because I can't wait to see your character when he's perfected.

September 26, 2007, 8:11 AM

yeah, it has been a while since I inspected them, check back later and I may have them done, I have college in a few mins so I can't do it yet

February 24, 2008, 12:07 PM

Name: Cain Delvo
Title: Dark lord
Alignment: Evil
Race: Half demon, half human
Gender: Male
Age: 27

Appearance:
Hair colour: Dark silver
Eye colour: Pale white
Build: Incredibly muscular
Height: 7 ft
Weight: 380 pounds
Cain, as a child was kidnapped by a time mage known as Garanos, he had the foresight to know of Cain's dark destiny and tried to stop him by killing him. Trying numerous methods such as using powerful time magic and a variety of methods of cruel torture. Nothing seemed to work, one fateful day however a demon from the future merged with his body while Cain slept. when he awakened he was much larger, stronger and posessed great evil, he easily escaped his prison and killed Garanos. After which he fled into the night until he found a small cave, when he returned to his human form he noticed his entire body excluding his face was covered in fur.

Armour: Due to his demon inhabiting his body Cain wears armour that leaves 6 inches of space between his body and the surface of his armour. As such he wears little armour.

Torso: A large chestplate made of adamantium which covers his entire torso and cover his arms up to the elbows. It had black and silver stripes of 3cm wide streaks of paint diagonally crossing his armour, one after the other.

Leg armour: This armour is made of the same material as his chest armour and covers his legs up to the knees. This is not painted.

Personality: A rather angry person in general, he rarely opens up to people, let alone share any form of friendship. He only really assists another dark being when he stands to gain from it.

First impression: As Cain is a half demon he rarely enters public life, instead ordering his minions to attack areas for him. As such he only ever greets people with the edge o his sword, unless he can gain something from their friedship.

Strength: With half of his blood being demonic he has enhanced strength that dwarfs a humans, making him able to lift all but the heaviest objects. He is able to lift something four times his own body weight with ease.

Speed: With all the weight he bears he is not speedy or agile, unless he has a fair deal of warning.

Endurance: Due to his demonic physical enhancements he is incredibly resistant to almost all forms of attack, only one weapon can have a great deal of effect on him, the dracoknight blade, which his brother bears.

Reflex action: Because of his weight and build he is not able to counter very well unless he stuns a foe first. Otherwise his only alternative is to place his foe in danger at the same time.

Fighting style: Tends to favour using all his strength to create a great deal of force into the ground so he can hurl the ground at his foes. Or creating shockwaves.

Weapon: Dark shadow ripper: A demonic blade created from the depths of hell itself. It is 6 meters long and 6 inches wide. It is completely straight until 3cm from the tip where it extends into a spike. It is made of dragon scales ripped from an ancient dragon whose name is long forgotten in the annals of history.

Weapon elements:
Fire: Fires created in hell itself, nothing can douse these flames, those who try shall feel the flames of hellfire.
Darkness: Created from the black abyss of the ancient dragon's mouth, these can expel light itself and banish a being to eternal darkness.

Abilities:
Gravity control: Can control and manipulate all forms of gravity, fatigue varies on the length of time controlling gravity.
Last revenge: If slain in his castle Darkofia castle will begin to crumble, leaving only 6 minutes to escape the castle before being crushed under its foundations.
Magic vacuum: By shielding a magic attack with his sword he will absorb half of the damage into his blade, when enough elements are absorbed he can begin creating a dark rip in the balance between good and evil. This ability is only available when he is a protagonist in a rp)

Elemental magic:
Flamestorm: Creates a circle of fire between himself and one foe, it is only extinguishable when either Cain is defeated, his enemy is slain or Cain begins to fatigue. The fire is made of ruby flames and measures 10ft high and the temperature surpasses 350 degrees, which stops burning through the ground by an invisible and undetectable sheet of icy air.

Flame gauntlets: Enchants his fists with fire and his fists remain enflamed until he is struck with ice or water or he holds his sword in both hands. The flames up his attack power by 200% and are able to beat back icy foes.

Black arena: Sends a foe and himself into a room that is completely black, this is only expelled by raising a large amount of light which fills the room. Another way to escape this is to defeat Cain, as neither side can die this is only a way to fatigue his foes.

Black thunder: Sends a black orb into the ground, which in a few seconds explodes in a huge blast, sending large amounts of debris into the air. These elevate to 50 feet and then drop suddenly, which if they strike a human it will split their head open.

Magic fatigue: all of his magic will fatigue Cain based on the length of time they are active, or on the level of power and concentration mustered into the attack.

Demon summoning:
Black Demon Berial: Summons the demon that lurks within him, this takes 2 posts to summon and needs to be in an area with 6 meters wide circle of space, otherwise Berial is blocked off.
Berial appearance: Berial
Berial attacks:
Berial rush: Engulfs himself in an extra coat of flames and charges at high speed into a foe, the speed will always excel 50mph
Berial blast: Unleashes a large fiery blast which covers a 4 meter distance in all directions.
Berial sword skills:
Helm smasher: jumps up slightly and slams his blade into a foe.
Berial spil slash: Berial jumps in a 360 spin while slashing his sword at the same time from the ground to the air and then slashing his sword into the ground.

Summoning fatigue: summoning takes little power to use and Berial has twice the level of fatigue that Cain has, while taking little fatigue from his attacks as his body is engulfed in flames.

History:
As Cain grew up with his brother Damian, durin his childhood they got on well, but as he entered his teenage years he was taken in his sleep by Garanos. Garanos imprisoned him in a large sphere and subjected him to numerous tortures, trying to find him weakness. He tried electrocution, incineration, drowning. All with no effect. As he neared the end of his list of available elements to try he came across a draconic scale sword, he inserted it into his sphere and used its power on Cain. Cain writhed in pain, Garanos, knowing his weakness began gathering materials for duplicating it. When he returned however, Cain looked different, evil somehow. It seemed he was too late, Cain, in a fit of rage broke free from his prison and mauled Garanos with his fists. Eventually breaking through his ribs and crushing his heart.

As Cain left the prison that had held him for many a year he ran into the woods and then felt a pushing effect on his torso which quickly overcame him and transformed him into a demon. charging through the woods he came across a castle, engulfed by lightning, as he approached it he saw numerous guards. He charged them and easily overcame them with his strength, when he entered the throne room of the castle he encountered its lord. he wore large armour made of adamantite which covered his entire body and wielded the Dark shadow ripper sword. Cain knew of its power from Garanos' ramblings and quickly grabbed the sword between his hands as the lord tried to cut him in two. Cain quickly threw it from the lords hands and smashed his face with his right fist.

As Cain tured to face the minions that had now arrived he saw them bow to him, obviously greeting him as their new ruler. When they rose they returned to their posts, Cain stripped the armour from his enemy and wore it, then took up the Dark shadow ripper and sat himself in his throne, it was completely black and built up of bones from the underworld. As Cain seated himself he let out a terrifying laugh and awaited his brother, he knew what must be done.

February 25, 2008, 11:54 AM

RPs used for: RPBs, URPGs
Name: Damian Delvo
Title: Lost prince
Alignment: Good
Race: Human
Gender: Male
Age: 24

Appearance:
Hair colour: Crimson red
Eye colour: Light brown
Build: Thin
Height: 6"3
Weight: 270 pounds
Damian's hair is short in length and is spiked upwards, he wears oval glasses and always has his collection of spellbooks with him. His skin is slightly pale but not unhealthy looking. He is unmuscled and is rather frail looking.

Armour/Attire:
Robes: Damian wears dark black robes which fall to his ankles, they have no form of decoration and only serve as clothing.
Shoes: Damian wears small black boots, they have numerous laces and are slightly heavy. Like his robes, their only purpose is clothing.

Personality: Damian, filled with the responsibility to bring his brother down he is not always easygoing and tends to keep to himself. When he does open up however he is very sociable and friendly. However, his mage traits make him hard to approach due to the thought of manipulation and backstabbing.

First impression: Overall he tends to be rather kind and friendly to strangers, his sole purpose most of the time is to find and save his brother, he does loosen up at times though and helps his friends.

Strength: Due to his lack of a physical build he is not able to lift much beyond his own weight, tending to let his magic do the work for him.

Speed: As he is lightweight and has no burden other than his books he is able to be fairly fast and dexterous.

Endurance: As he bears no armour he is not built for endurance, in close combat he would be easily vanquished in a few hits.

Reflex action: Using his mgical lore he is able to make use of faster actions and is great at countering various forms of attack.

Fighting style: Fights mainly at a distance using weak spells far away and stronger ones as the distance is closed. If he runs out of magic to use he will try and knock his opponent back with his staff.

Books:
The Art Of Arcane: This book holds all of his Level 1 spells, when used from the book the spell can activate instantly making it stronger, faster and less draining on fatigue.
Spellweavers-An Advanced Guide: This book works similarly to The Art Of Arcane, only it amplifies the Level 2 spells in Damian's arsenal.
Destruction-Warlock Level: A large volume consting of spells that are highly destructive and deadly, the spells listed inside this book can drain a man of all his stamina, like the other books is Damian's collection these too amplify their respective spells. (Level 3)
The conquest of the demon slayer: A book listing the numerous powers and feats of the once living Dark Demon Slayer, Odin. This book allows quicker summoning of Odin.

Backpack: A fairly common backpack which is just large enough to bear the thick books that Damian bears, it is made from Alligator skin and can hold 150 pounds.

Weapon:
Mana staff: Staff which holds all of Damian's magical power, it is a 6 foot long Mithril staff which holds a gem atop it, Damian uses different gems to hold his magic as its head.
Staff gems:
Ruby: Fire
Sapphire: Water
Emerald : Lightning
Diamond: Wind
Topaz: Earth
Amethyst: Ice
Gem power: All of the gems hold te same level of power, each gem individually holds greater magical endurance if the spell used corresponds to its element.

Gem creation: Damian can create these gems at will, purely by turning some of his energy into a stone, it will trasform into a gem.

Dracoknight sword (only available in rp): An ancient sword which is the only weapon capable of exorcising the demon from his brother's body. It is found only in the tetra bahamut's cavern located in the earth. It is made of dragon scales and is a single edged sword. It is coloured like the sea and shines brightly in the light. it is 1 and a half meters long and 5 inches wide and the blade curves slightly.

Dracoknight sword added effect: Exorcism
Exorcism allows him to have a large advantage over enemies that are hosts to a demon or other supernatural being (ie: Ghost)

Abilities:
Force shock: By unguarding his body he can release a small shockwave to knock back all enemies in melee range.
Magic tractor field: Any spells cast at Damian, if they directly strike at the gem on his staff the gem will absorb the power and restore some magical energies. Although it drains magical energy, too many spells can overload it and cause it to explode and shatter.

Elemental magic:
Level 1 spells:
Fireball: Damian creates a small fireball in his hand and throws it toward his enemy. Due to the low power of the attack it is incredibly fast and is almost undodgable at close range.

Ice crystal: Damian creates a small crystal of ice and throws it at his opponent, it is dagger sharp and can pierce through most forms of armour, only the heavier and thicker variety can shield the blow.

Thunder zap: Raising his index finger into the air Damian conjures lightning into his finger and it fires itself at any foes in range. The closer the enemies are the harder it is to dodge it. Abandoning metal equipment will cause the lightning to not strike the enemy as it cannot track through conduction.

Water shot: Holding his hand palm first towards his foe he launches a small jet of water towards his opponent's neck. Should it strike it will cause the opponent to choke, if the neck is protected by armour than they will recieve force similar to a light thrust to the throat.

Knockover: Damian holds both hands outwards towards up to two opponents and launches a jet of air at them both. The force of the air blast varies on the weight of his opponents. The heavier the armour, the less effect that the opponent(s) will feel.

Rock throw: Creating a small boulder Damian raises it above his head and 'throws' it at a foe. Due to Damian's lack of a physical build the accuracy of the throw can vary.

Level 2 spells:
Flame fountain: Damian raises his hands in the air and releases large supplies of liquid flame which starts to flow slowly in all directions. It has a similar effect to lava, and is able to melt through anything and skin contact can cause severe burning.

Freezer: Launches a large ice block at a foe, if contact is made it temporarily freezes them, the time is dispelled if in a hot area or a fire spell is cast on the target. The regular time limit is 2 posts. As the ice it large in scale Damian is unable to harm them with melee combat, Damian doesn't even try any spells during freezing as the added effect of freezing his foe is that their energy is slowly sapped and they begin to develop early stages of hyperthermia.

Storm: Creates a thunder cloud in his hands and as it expands it begins to randomly launch lightning at any foes who enter the target area, if foes are wearing any metal equipment the target area rule is ignored. Should foes wear metal equipment such as swords or metal armour they are more likely to be struck by the lightning. After being struck the target will be temporarily paralysed (1 post time limit)

Ocean wave: If Damian is above ground he can target the floor with his hand and create a huge wave of water, the depth will vary on how high above ground Damian is. The power and speed of the wave will vary on the width of the target area, any enemies caught in the waves will be stuck in the water, and if they are not able swimmers they are likely to drown as the waves will toss and turn, causing the target(s) to be quickly engulfed below water.

Tornado: Damian creates a small tornado which can quickly engulf anyone who ventures too close and make them forcefully abandon any loose equipment as well as hurl them into any nearby objects. The tornado does not have much pulling effect and needs to directly 'grab' a target before being able to throw them, the tornado, due to its size is not very fast and can be outrun if the target is alert.

Earth shaker: Damian creates a large earthquake which can make any objects above them fall at random intervals. As well as this, if the earthquake takes place on one of the earth's tectonic plates it can cause the ground to 'split' from the friction and create small eruptions of volcanic magma.

Level 3 spells:
Fire cannon: Creating a large fiery cannon out of magic it fires a huge beam which can rip through anything, it takes 4 seconds to charge so it tends to be a very long range attack. It is built up of five individual cannons which are shaped like the 5 dots on a dice. each one fires the same level of firepower but connects before hitting its target for combined damage.

Ice spear flurry: Damian creates a 20 strong wall of ice spears, they then fall diagonally and release themselves and seek out an enemy at random. These spears are each 9ft long and nearly 2inches thick, the blades of them are shaped like an arrowhead and are 4cm wide at the widest point.

Lightning blast: Damian creates a ball of lightning and by concentration he chooses a target and unleashes a huge blast of lightning towards them. If more than 5 targets are around him the concentration will become strained, making it harder to target a foe, due to this it is mainly used at full effectiveness when a low quantity of targets are around.

Internal Tsunami: Damian creates a Tsunami directly inside a person, which as the person moves it starts to rot away at the internal organs. Unless the target starts to make slower movements, or destroys the gem on Damian's staff the spell will continue until the whole body has rotted away.

Great force: Damian creates a huge pillar of wind and lowers it to eye level and then slowly spins the pillar of air in a 360 spin. The pillar itself is the same in size and width and is as high as Damian is tall. The pillar itself is made un of numerous 'wind blades' which slash away at anything within the pillar these are light green in colour and are incredibly thin and curved.

Avalanche: Damian summons a huge boulder measuring 100 meters high and wide, he then clenches his hand into a fist, seperating the boulder into several, smaller rocks which then topple and fall towards the intended target. These vary in size and every time the results are different. Also, if done on flat ground they will hardly move and only the wind will affect any movement in any direction. Should he release it on a slope or mountain path for instance, they will angle downwards and will criss cross one another until they are reduced to little stones.

Magic fatigue: As the magic is controlled through his gems Damian suffers no fatigue, unless his gems are all used up.
Gemless fatigue:
Level 1 spells: Little fatigue is gained from these spells unless used rapidly and the effect hardly raises above minimal.
Level 2 spells: A moderate amount of fatigue is gained from the level 2 spells, making them less used due to the risk of collapse.
Level 3 spells: Completely exhausting, these spells can only be used once and Damian will then be completely exhausted and unable to continue combat.

Summoned beast:
Dark demon slayer Odin: Damian creates a small circular mirror in the air, after a few seconds Odin charges through it on horseback, when he appears he automatically makes demons his first priority in combat and other enemies a distant second.
Dark demon slayer Odin appearance: Odin
Dark demon slayer Odin attacks:
Dispatcher: Charges towards a foe and has a 50-50 chance of hacking them in two.
Trample: While seated on his horse Odin charges towards his foe and tramples them beneath his horse's hooves.
Air fight: Odin, on an invisible layer of air rides his steed on this sheet of air and can fight airborne enemies.
Summoning fatigue: Little fatigue is gained from summoning Odin, only slightly more than the cost of level 1 spells.

History: After his brother had been kidnapped Damian was led into a very sheltered life and was taught to be the counteract to his brother's power. As he aged he was taught greatly about the arcane but neglected him in melee combat. When he was nearing readiness he was told of a legend which involved the Dracoknight sword. Apparently only his powers could obtain the powerful sword, only he could gain it and only he could use it against his brother.

Still unsure, as the last he saw his brother he was good and cheerful, still knowing of what he must do he sought to gain answers as he journeyed. As he did not know about the location of the sword that would have to be his first priority, as he left the home he had lived in for many years he wandered into the great unknown, taking his collection of arcane books with him.

March 8, 2008, 1:25 AM

Sorry, FFGuy. We're going to need a LOT more detail. I can picture his appearance and such alright, but his abilities, attributes, etc. are all too short and vague. Add some stuff onto those, and gimme a ring.

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