Chuck Norris!!!!!!!

January 20, 2008, 7:44 PM

Post Chuck Norris factoids here, or I roundhouse kick you!

Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

January 20, 2008, 7:49 PM

-Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

-Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

January 20, 2008, 7:49 PM

While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

January 20, 2008, 7:52 PM

Chuck Norris did a backflip and kicked Jesus

January 20, 2008, 7:55 PM

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."

January 20, 2008, 8:09 PM

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris bleeds lava.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity... twice.
Outer Space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

January 20, 2008, 9:26 PM

The reason the universe is expanding is because its trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

January 20, 2008, 9:43 PM

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
When the boogey man goes to sleep he checks his wardrobe for Chuck Norris.
Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
According to the Relativity Theory Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick you yesterday.
When you say "nobody is perfect" Chuck Norris takes that as an insult.
Actually Chuck Norris lives in a round house.
Superman cried himself to sleep after watching an episode of "Walker: texas Ranger"

January 20, 2008, 10:00 PM

Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he needs.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

January 20, 2008, 10:54 PM

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.

Ill post more later on ^^
if isn't already too much ^^